Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?

[Naturelover5]

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

I have met badly behaved kids from all walks of life, you are making massive generalisations based on your own biases

@IvorCutler regardless of disabilities hidden or otherwise basic playground etiquette keeps all children safe! Would you just ignore your child blocking other children from coming down the slide the correct way, is that what you're saying?!! Why should those children be punished as you think that's a "minor incident" & you would "leave him to it for a few minutes"... What if one of those children up top also had a hidden disability? What if one of those kids had had enough & decided to slide down on top of your son?!!!

Literally still whining about this on here, just get the fuck over it already..?

Gosh, these people take up a LOT of space in your head, don't they OP? Do you think they even notice your existence, let alone obsess over you like you do them?

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Someone wants to get into the Daily Fail

I stopped taking anything you said seriously at the point you were sniffy about 'mismatched clothes'.

It wasn’t actually what I said, no. I said if someone was upset or hurt I would remove him from any given situation and apologise profusely.

I have never been in the slide situation, it was hypothetical. I give him guidance and list dos and don’ts before every playground visit (which is exhausting in itself for me and for him) but I’m not going to be a helicopter parent, he needs independence and the opportunity to figure out situations for himself.

That's my SD to a T, although her family is not veggie. She has not even seen the need to teach her DC to say please and thank you.

I understand that... However if a child is blocking the way for other children to come down & creating a potentially dangerous situation I would have no problem telling a strangers child politely to move off if the parents weren't bothered.

To be fair, Ivor, you did refer to the slide thing as a minor incident where you'd leave your child to it for "a few minutes".
That's not on. Misusing equipment creates a risk of injury for all the kids involved, it's not really something you leave them to work out for themselves.

I see children going up the slide the wrong way every day. I really don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s inconsiderate yes, but hardly life endangering.

I would have no problem with a parent telling my child politely to move either.

I suppose it isn't, until some kid is jostled off the top because yours is blocking the way down and a queue is building up behind them.

This sounds extreme. I’ve never seen anything like it happen in reality.

I have. There's a lot of reality out there, you know. Reality doesn't stop at the end of your nose

Sure you have

I have nearly seen it happening too @IvorCutler however a parent (not the slide blocker's) interverved quickly before a child up top had quite rightly got sick of waiting... That parent prevented the slide blocker from a welly in the face... It's very entitled behavior to think your child should have a right to do this.. It's not "helicopter" parenting as you called it to make sure your child is using the equipment safely. You're protecting him & others from accidents... It would take two seconds to tell him "look there's kids up top waiting to come down, you're going up the wrong way...go around the side & queue up & wait your turn".. Playgrounds need to be there for all kids to enjoy safely... Really gets my goat to see parents watch on as other kids haven't been told the etiquette...

@Johnnysgirl thank you, it's not my imagination. Dc3 is still playground age & it really irks me to see so much entitled behavior, kids skipping queues, parents pushing them ahead, parents ignoring & sometimes actively encouring kids to use equipment incorrectly (slide example above).. As long as the parents are left uninterrupted & at peace anything goes...

Obviously I explain playground etiquette to my son, as stated previously.

You said here you would leave him for a few minutes if he was walking up the slide... Obviously basic playground etiquette is to climb the ladder & wait your turn to slide down.. I'm baffled that you think it's appropriate to let him a few minutes whilst letting children up top wait while he continues to block the slide on them. That was the example I gave & you replied you don't think that's a big deal & you'd leave him a few minutes!!!!

You are ridiculous to think it is only one type of political voter who has horrible, bastard children - whether you are left voting and think the right are awful or vice versa - I think you’ll find it’s down to the parents being lazy and stupid, not their political views

The thing is there's a very fine line between positive parenting and permissive parenting. In the kid climbing the slide for example you have 3 options

1. whisk them off the slide, tell them how naughty that is and maybe naughty step/similar punishment

2. ignore them and let them piss off half the kids in the playground, leave them to be totally oblivious to the antisocial and dangerous nature of their behaviour and probably repeat it

3. Take one minute to talk it through explaining why the behaviour is dangerous and antisocial, give them chance to make the right choice themselves then remove them from situation eg 'We must climb the ladder and queue to slide down the slide. Have you noticed there's a queue of children who are also really excited to slide down? I expect they're getting a bit annoyed because you're in their way and think it's unfair. I'm worried they'll slide down and you'll both really hurt yourselves so you can choose to either go and queue to use the slide or I will have to take you away from the slide. Which are you going to choose? And then you swiftly remove them.

3 is collaborative, 2 is permissive. Big difference. Only in 3 is the child actually learning anything, being given chance to rectify their behaviour and most importantly being ultimately stopped from being a menace if they make the wrong choice. It's lazy parenting to be excessively permissive but it's equally lazy to judge that a parent is being overly permissive just because they're not punishing/yelling at/humiliating their child. At the end of the day only the parents truly know their parenting style. It's easy to judge but we only see a snapshot.

@Nahimjustaworm that's a brilliant analysis. If all parents parented by point 3 & understood the playground is for ALL children & is an inclusive place to play for ALL so much agro would be avoided...

That’s how I see it too. What does politics have to do with any of this? Nothing as far as I can see.