Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?

579 replies

Naturelover5 · 02/08/2022 16:12

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
gnilliwdog · 03/08/2022 20:15

Should be red dungarees for the lefties and blue for the right wingers. Not sure about the lib dem.

luxxlisbon · 03/08/2022 20:20

So you aren’t allowed to dress your kids too neat and prim, or put bows in girl’s hair because that’s WC and stifles their ability to have fun and be a kid. But you can’t have them in handmedowns that are too mismatched either, they must be the perfect level of only slightly worn, but matching and ironed.
You aren’t allowed to put them in clubs every day (even if you work), but you aren’t allowed to not put them in any.
You aren’t allowed to put them in dungarees but they have to be able to have fun, but not too much fun that it ruins nature for someone.
And if you do any of this you will obviously be a woke neglectful leftie, except when you are being a Tory??

SparkyBrad78 · 03/08/2022 20:42

You are bang on! Absolutely lefty types. Living in Bristol which has an epidemic of them. They are lazy, neglectful parents without a doubt. Had one 4 year old on a wooden bike racing down behind a reversing van. I saved his life and his parents didn’t even realise! No thank you, not a nod, nothing!!! I would go much further and say they are a drain on society too.

Nahimjustaworm · 03/08/2022 20:52

luxxlisbon · 03/08/2022 20:20

So you aren’t allowed to dress your kids too neat and prim, or put bows in girl’s hair because that’s WC and stifles their ability to have fun and be a kid. But you can’t have them in handmedowns that are too mismatched either, they must be the perfect level of only slightly worn, but matching and ironed.
You aren’t allowed to put them in clubs every day (even if you work), but you aren’t allowed to not put them in any.
You aren’t allowed to put them in dungarees but they have to be able to have fun, but not too much fun that it ruins nature for someone.
And if you do any of this you will obviously be a woke neglectful leftie, except when you are being a Tory??

Right?! I think most reasonable parents are somewhere in the middle for all the above and too busy juggling the above to give too much attention to what other parents are doing which is why this thread is so bloody ridiculous. It's becoming actually vile tbh

DarkShade · 03/08/2022 21:32

luxxlisbon · 03/08/2022 20:20

So you aren’t allowed to dress your kids too neat and prim, or put bows in girl’s hair because that’s WC and stifles their ability to have fun and be a kid. But you can’t have them in handmedowns that are too mismatched either, they must be the perfect level of only slightly worn, but matching and ironed.
You aren’t allowed to put them in clubs every day (even if you work), but you aren’t allowed to not put them in any.
You aren’t allowed to put them in dungarees but they have to be able to have fun, but not too much fun that it ruins nature for someone.
And if you do any of this you will obviously be a woke neglectful leftie, except when you are being a Tory??

😁😁😁excellent summary!! Now that's not too hard to remember, is it folk?

Also: you can only go camping on campsites that reflect your last vote.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 03/08/2022 22:11

Hair undone?!?! clutches pearls

ChristmasSirens · 03/08/2022 22:33

luxxlisbon · 03/08/2022 20:20

So you aren’t allowed to dress your kids too neat and prim, or put bows in girl’s hair because that’s WC and stifles their ability to have fun and be a kid. But you can’t have them in handmedowns that are too mismatched either, they must be the perfect level of only slightly worn, but matching and ironed.
You aren’t allowed to put them in clubs every day (even if you work), but you aren’t allowed to not put them in any.
You aren’t allowed to put them in dungarees but they have to be able to have fun, but not too much fun that it ruins nature for someone.
And if you do any of this you will obviously be a woke neglectful leftie, except when you are being a Tory??

Perfect summary, thank you. There will be a short quiz at the end of the thread.

Original poster
Naturelover5 · 03/08/2022 22:34

Legrandsophie · 03/08/2022 17:45

I think you are confusing the crunchy set with all MC people.

The crunchy set are annoying and probably mostly MC but I know people who you would probably consider WC who are very crunchy eco warriors and only ever ride bikes and go camping but also have four kids.

What people find annoying is being preached to and criticised. So it cuts both ways. I personally find preachy wannabe Hyacinth Buckets incredibly rude and irritating.

Definitely not tarring all middle class parents with the same brush... The majority I know are lovely people, trying their best to raise mannerly, we'll rounded kids & really value education.
It's the crunchy set that get my goat with their preaching & lack of self awareness... The #ecowarrior & #loveourplanet hashtags from a beach in Croatia make me hoot, they have flown 4 hours there, 4 hours back & dare preach at us about "food miles"...

OP posts:
MrsIsobelCrawley · 03/08/2022 22:53

Oh dear, @Naturelover5, I do hope you are feeling better tomorrow.

Original poster
Naturelover5 · 03/08/2022 23:06

You too @MrsIsobelCrawley , have a 🍩 before bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Naturelover5 · 03/08/2022 23:09

Lndnmummy · 03/08/2022 17:48

Couldn't agree more. We live in area like this and my dh (who is black) always says "imagine if we let pur kids go to school with dirty uniform, hair a mess and holes in their shoes". We'd have "welfare concerns" and ss called on us. But its all fine for little Boden clad Esmeralda/Ruben to turn up like that. What annoys me to the core is things like "hair policy" where black hair is seen as "unprofessional" or "untidy" but little Elliot can turn up with long uncombed and filthy hair (with nits)....

Show quote history

Jesus, the nits are also a problem with the alternative set.. I guess herbal, eco remedies don't work! And if they can't be arsed combing the hair, they obviously aren't checking for eggs & nits... Always the same culprits in the dc's class...

OP posts:
Original poster
Naturelover5 · 03/08/2022 23:12

WTAFhappened123 · 03/08/2022 18:17

Parts of Norfolk are FULL of wafty, brown or orange dungaree- wearing, pretending to be posh when their houses are s++tholes, hippy (lazy) parents with feral kids on holiday - have met ALOT there when visiting family

Yes, we stumbled across lots in Norfolk.. Undisciplined, unmannerly, feral kids... Parents can't manage them & don't attempt to...

OP posts:
Original poster
Naturelover5 · 03/08/2022 23:16

AppleBottomRats · 03/08/2022 18:54

The amount of times you’ve mentioned this woman’s American fly drive holiday 🤣 definitely not jealous are you, no siree.

No, but said woman berated another mum for using single use plastic cutlery as it "horrific for the environment"... Yet doesn't have the self awareness (or the brain cells) to realise her families USA trip is leaving a massive carbon footprint!
But it's OK for them as they're exempt 🙄

OP posts:
DeepSleepPillowSpray · 03/08/2022 23:18

Damn OP you seem to have hit a fair few nerves 😂
fortunately where I live is not posh enough, or at least not the right type of posh, for me to encounter many of these in the wild. But yeah surely most people can recognise the eco-warrior, free range kids “we don’t believe in the word no” type being described. Usually their kids are rude and tedious, but maybe that’s what they’re aiming for?

Original poster
Naturelover5 · 03/08/2022 23:23

SparkyBrad78 · 03/08/2022 20:42

You are bang on! Absolutely lefty types. Living in Bristol which has an epidemic of them. They are lazy, neglectful parents without a doubt. Had one 4 year old on a wooden bike racing down behind a reversing van. I saved his life and his parents didn’t even realise! No thank you, not a nod, nothing!!! I would go much further and say they are a drain on society too.

But they're "avant garde" & alternative, it's basically a philosophy they adopt to cover up poor, neglectful parenting... "kids are kids" etc... Yet they are the judgiest of the lot.. We were criticised by one cruny dad for vaccinating all our kids, the only kids we know that aren't vaxxed belong to the crunchy/boho set.... Part of me thinks they just can't be arsed to bring their dc to the clinic to get them vaxxed...

OP posts:
EtnaVesuvius · 03/08/2022 23:34

Naturelover5 · 03/08/2022 08:09

This is spot on! I think the image they portray though is a cover for poor, neglectful parenting eg "we encourage Nigel to express himself so don't encourage him to say thank you unless he FEELS grateful" 🤔
I think they never attempted to properly parent their feral kids who never ask just say "I want" or "I need"... Yet it's glossed over as a parenting philosophy & "people like us" mentality... It's a small sub-section of the mc parents in our school, but the most annoying... The majority of the parents both mc & wc have lovely, clean children with proper manners & are far less opinated than the ones with the feral kids.

Show quote history

OMG kids who come up to their parent and say ‘I’m thirsty’.

AAARRRGH! It’s so rude! I hate it. What ever happened to ‘Please can I have a drink?’

Original poster
Naturelover5 · 03/08/2022 23:41

EtnaVesuvius · 03/08/2022 23:34

OMG kids who come up to their parent and say ‘I’m thirsty’.

AAARRRGH! It’s so rude! I hate it. What ever happened to ‘Please can I have a drink?’

Show quote history

Yes, we had one of the feral "boho" kids at ds's party last year, the party was in the park due to covid restrictions in place for indoor events...
He came up to me "I want 7up & mix it with cola", his boho crunchy mum replies "I'll get it darling, I know just the way you like it mixed" & practically shoved me out of the way mixing up his concoction 😁 no wonder these type of parents have feral kids, no correction given... If my dc dreamed of speaking to me or anyone like that they would be given such a telling off that they wouldn't dare chance it again...

OP posts:
tabithatwitch · 03/08/2022 23:45

MISMATCHED CLOTHES! Yea gods whatever next?!😂

Original poster
Naturelover5 · 04/08/2022 00:03

tabithatwitch · 03/08/2022 23:45

MISMATCHED CLOTHES! Yea gods whatever next?!😂

This topped with zero manners, feral & unruly behaviour with uninterested parents who are obviously neglecting their kids basic needs...
It's not just the mismatched clothes, if you delve further in the thread the clothes are dirty & have holes, uniforms the same.. Hair & nails are uncared for & faces usually dirty.
Parents don't give a shit about their children's social & emotional needs as the kids behaviour reflects this & the parents don't care about their hygiene...

OP posts:
HRTQueen · 04/08/2022 00:14

I know what type you mean op

No is a word the parents do not use and they have conversations and come to conclusions with their children. They will often tell you how emotionally mature their children are. Yes they certainly leant the art of manipulation from a young age

the look is well crafted

and they absolutely would be treated differently if they were not mc children

ds school had a high number of them he was always the smartest in his class, clothes always fit well, ironed, shoes always polished it was a give away he wasn’t one of them 😆

Original poster
Naturelover5 · 04/08/2022 00:30

The look is so well crafted & engineered. The feral, unsocialised kids is just a lack of parenting skills & neglect..
If wc kids behaved like this their hv would be suggesting the parents attend parenting courses. Oh and playgroups, extracurriculars etc to try & socialise their feral dc

OP posts:
Blantw · 04/08/2022 00:39

Snob

Original poster
Naturelover5 · 04/08/2022 00:46

Blantw · 04/08/2022 00:39

Snob

If that's what you call a fully functional member of society, who takes care of her children's basic physical & social needs on top of prioritising their education that's fine by me. There are millions of other "snobs" across the UK raising kids in a similar fashion.
I think the "crunchy/boho" types would call us boring conformists but "snob" works for you @Blantw 🤙

OP posts:
Flippingnora100 · 04/08/2022 02:55

I live in Central America and my kids run around with no shoes on, clothes full of holes and unbrushed hair. I love it, but I take no shit from them when it comes to their behavior. I don’t want my kids to grow up to be arses. I see parents of all types not putting the work in to discipline/teach their kids. I don’t think you can generalize.

I know what you mean though-I used to work with low income single parents and when Madeline McCann disappeared, a bunch of them said that if it had been their kids, there would have been way more judgement and less sympathy.

MumasaurusRex · 04/08/2022 06:47

-id say more c*