Bohemian, "lefty" free range middle class parenting really just lazy neglectful parenting jazzed up?

[Naturelover5]

In my three dc's classes we have some of these bohemian, creative lefty parents.. The children are unkempt, scruffy, hair undone & dressed without fail in mismatched clothes... Some of the children have very questionable manners & are either running amock or with their heads glued to screens constantly (as seen on holiday recently, loud obnoxious parents quaffing seccy while the kids were largely ignored).. If council estate kids were dirty, scruffy & looked uncared for social services would be called.. For this particular group (& they are everywhere) the barefoot, scruffy kids are seen as badges of honour..
The lefty parent types are also very anti homework & organised activities outside school as they think kids should be kids however aibu to think they are just lazy & couldn't be arsed putting the effort in?!

I think with the boho types it's neglectful, lazy parenting which they try & disguise by calling their dc "free spirits" or "wild things" or similar shit to gloss over feral & ignorant with zero bounderies ... The gentle parenting is anything but in my experience the dc also run riot while the parents try to reason with them very ineffectively.. No discipline & the kids don't hear no.. Some of the crunchy types use this approach as well as attachment parenting... Don't confuse with the boho type who prefer having feral kids & have no parenting method..

@Naturelover5 calm doon hen. I know you’re jealous of the holidays the woman is going on, but honestly: she’s away living her best life while you’re ranting and raving on mn

@Stylishkidintheriot sorry to burst your bubble chick but DH, the kids & I did the states on a fly drive over Easter so nowt to be jealous of..!

Well... that’s me telt!

but seriously... get over it. She’s living rent free in your head

I can't see the entitled 'wild' behaviour progressing far into secondary school, though, tbh. Especially not with the boys.

Little Rupen will very likely end up with a black eye if he tries to push the other lads around the way he does his parents. This will likely be quite the shock for him.

I think I encountered one of these today at the park. I noticed my son at the top of a slide sitting waiting to go down and a queue of children beginning to form behind him at the top. He was waiting because this girl was climbing up the slide and sliding down it repeatedly while laughing at the other children. He was getting upset as she was clearly teasing him and he was starting to kick out at her a bit while she danced around him at the top of the slide. I told him he couldn't kick her and said to her the other children are waiting for their turn can you get down now. She completely ignored me. My son was getting upset by now and some kids behind him were balancing rather precariously on the rope bridge that leads to the top of the slide, all held hostage up there by that girl. I told her again you need to get down, she laughed I said where is your mum, she said dunno. And still wouldn't move. Some time later mum comes over."awww dahling why dont you zoom down really fast" little girl "no" . Mum cajoles her for another few minutes , in her own time she comes down the slide. Mum says to me "oh she's a menace you should have just shoved her off" 🤨

Haha, if not wearing matching clothes was a reason for calling SS, my kid would have been taken away ages ago!

We all have small wardrobes and I absolutely refuse to a) buy new clothes everytime old ones get stains because I'd be buying new stuff weekly which is just totally wasteful and b) unless actual excrement goes on the clothing they stay on till the end of the day. I'm not changing them everytime a drop of yogurt lands on their t-shirt. Most of our clothes are hand-me-downs so quite often they don't match.

And walking barefoot is actually good for your feet, unless you are on the inner city streets like me where glass is a real danger.

I won't tell you which way I vote but my kid seems pretty happy.

I see this most among friends who have split from the other parent of their children, so afraid to discipline in case they aren't seen as 'fun' and the visits stop happening. Disney parenting its called. I'm not judging, I'm split from my child's Dad and can understand why some people do it.

I do agree with an earlier comment about some behaviours being more acceptable in richer families. My DP and his sibling were left alone in the family house at 13/14 by his parents who split and moved on with other relationships. Their (very wealthy) family still talk about how the two kids did loads of drugs/wild parties/getting arrested for fighting randoms, and find it hilarious. I find it horrifying, my very working class upbringing was so much more civilised in comparison. But they got away with it because Mum and Dad could bail them out of jail etc. Thankfully they grew up, but I doubt they would have had such an easy ride if their parents had been on benefits.

Haha, if not wearing matching clothes was a reason for calling SS, my kid would have been taken away ages ago!
It isn't, obviously . You're about the fifth poster that thinks it's oh so hilarious to say this. Haven't any of you actually read the thread?

@Johnnysgirl thank you, yes so many people jumping on mismatching when they obviously haven't read the thread! I should have put ill fitting instead of mismatching, probably a more fitting description.

I suspect you are ignorant.

Hilarious OP, you have managed to capture most of the lefties from the ubiquitous Tory hating threads. They then have the cheek to accuse YOU of stereotyping. Bloody brilliant. 👏

Urgh what a shitty, narrow minded post.

The irory😅

Agree with you here
tbis thread is toxic

In case someone judges ( ha foregone conclusion - ) I meant to say THIS

omg the moral highground on this thread is scarily high and so precarious
STOP judging all of you
be kind
you do not know what ANYONE is going through
and why do you feel it is in your hands to put people down so publicly … this is not about you and patting yourself on your perfect backs
maybe think that the “dreadful parent” may have a neuro- Diverse child who can’t fit in, is struggling to understand the world and the last thing either the child or their parent needs is a judgy set of gym mums excluding them because they don’t react in a so called perfect way. You really have no idea of the serious harm you could be inflicting on both parent and child -
believe me people I have lived through this- it’s more than shocking and destroyed my eldest daughters childhood
i have no words
you guys should stop b and think before pouring your sanctimonious c’* onto threads like this

@Stilltimeleft I am sorry to hear your daughter had a hard time. Nobody is giving out about neurodiverse dc or their parents. It's the subsection of parents who can't be arsed to rein in or parent their neuro typical "free spirits" that's the problem.

Orrrrrrrrrrrrr

Your child has shown a natural talent in a sport they love. And whilst i may not have them for 12 hours a week because of this sport it doesn't mean im not involved heavily in everything else that comes with it.

A different perspective @Starlight86

@Naturelover5
i disagree and I also am not suggesting any of the comments on this thread are directly related to criticism of neuro diversity
my point is simple
there seem to be a lot of judgemental perfect mothers criticising others they consider to be neglectful parents.

Again I may not have made my point clear

these “can’t be arsed” parents may have much more going on in the background than you realise . How do you know these kids to whom you refer are neuro typical ? Invisible disability is real and while of course I’m not suggesting every comment here is flawed and judgemental there are a few that are quite simply toxic and extremely shocking.

I can only say I am so glad I am far far away from the school gate now and the pain of being excluded and gossiped about because of my badly behaved daughter and my inability to control her has receded.

btw she is now 24 and training to be a lawyer. All her own hard work. Couldn’t be more proud.

@Stilltimeleft , I meant no offence whatsoever to neurodiverse children. He nephew has adhd & as you quite rightly pointed out it is an invisible disability. You sound like an awesome mum & your daughter sounds like a very high achiever.
It may be just my area but there is definitely a minority group of parents who let their kids be feral & rude. The explanation is not like my sister in law "I'm so sorry x is acting up today he has adhd & gets over excited from time to time", she finds the judgey parents much nicer & inclusive when she explains he has an invisible disability.
These remark "Meadow is such a free spirit isn't she" when she's going up the slide the wrong way blocking other children from coming down... Mum sees but doesn't bother correcting her.. Never corrected on please or thank you etc... I'm sure even if the children had a hidden disability (which I'm pretty sure these kids don't) a good pareny/guardian would be fairly on top of basic manners.

Snob

@Blantw 😴😴

Actually some of us are exhausted and sick of explaining and apologising for our dc’s ‘hidden disabilities’ to all and sundry when they don’t display ‘basic manners’. If my ds was hurting or upsetting someone I would remove him and apologise profusely but if it was a minor incident (such as the slide example) I would leave him to it for a few minutes. Tolerance and acceptance of differences are important life skills.