"I don't mind" is really frustrating.

[PleaseMind]

AIBU to think "I don't mind" is often a really rude response? I find it so frustrating. When I ask DH what he wants for dinner I'm really asking him to help share the mental load. When I try to arrange a date with a friend and ask what date suits them Saturday or Sunday I hate getting I don't mind back. Does anyone else find this annoying? How do you cope with it. Took the teen in my life to the shop and gave them the simple task of choosing crisps they just stood there and said "I don't mind", fine no crisps then.

I had to ban the phrase ‘I don’t mind’ (or derivatives of) from a friends-group WhatsApp to organise a city break because you just end up getting nowhere. One person (me!) ends up taking the burden of both suggesting places and then choosing out of them, which becomes self perpetuating and you somehow become the unofficial ‘leader’ of the trip. I’m happy to pull my weight but it’s like pulling teeth trying get a decision made, I end up doing everything and I haven’t got time for it! I understand people might not have strong opinions either way, but throw me a frickin bone!

all the ‘don’t mind’ers on this thread even if you don’t mind just pick something anyway just for the sake of everyone’s sanity!

There are really two questions mixed together.

Do you want to express any (active) preference? And "would you take care about (picking/making/...)?"

It is very useful to distinguish them when asking - the first one mean it is ok to not have an opinion and not make one at that moment. Of course it means being ok with anything in standard range. "Will you pick (and verify we have everything or pick&make) some dinner?" means delegation of work (and I should either express preference or be ok with what I get).

all the ‘don’t mind’ers on this thread even if you don’t mind just pick something anyway just for the sake of everyone’s sanity!

Yes to this! 👏

I will definitely try my bestest 😂

^^^ This.

Sometimes a like button would be good!

I'm a 'I don't mind-er'. I spend so much of my life making decisions for other people, kids, work, family...quite frankly I find it exhausting and therefore I do ask my DP to decide on something's because frankly it's nice to have someone else take the decision making burden from time to time

This annoys me too @TokyoTen.

@courtrai

Well yes, equally asking a question and getting annoyed no one else is making a decision is no different to saying I don't mind

Both are motivated by the fact you don't want to be the one who makes the decision. You are exhausted by making decisions but expect the person you are asking to happily make a decision

In OPs case it would be better to actually have a discussion about the fact you feel you are carrying the mental load. Or say something like "I have decided a lot on dinner recently, i would like you to decide tonight'

Yeah it's like they can't actually be bothered and want someone else to just organise everything for them. So cheeky.

My mum been said to me last week, when discussing what to do on holiday, 'I don't mind, I'll just let you organise everything!'
Cheeky

I agree, think it's lazy, especially when it's in response to where to go. They're basically saying, I can't be bothered to research/organise/ book something - you do it.
It's not laid back. It's totally passive which can be infuriating!

I think next time it happens I might charge commission