@PleaseMind it bothers me too, but I think we are both being unreasonable.
Chances are if you are asking people for their input, you’re trying to push forward a plan or arrangement you’ve decided needs to be sorted out now, on your timetable. That’s okay, you might suspect that if you didn’t push things forward nothing would get done and everything would be left to the last minute, but your inability to let go of that control means the whole situation is a “you” problem, not a “them” problem. They sense your impatience with them and they don’t want to indulge you.
For example, you can always just not make dinner (crazy- I know) just say you weren’t sure what to make so you just had a snack- not the end of the world. Or just make exactly what you feel like making with no consideration for what you know their preferences to be. Or if someone won’t choose a restaurant, you can always say, “will we just see what’s available on the night?” And leave it at that. So you don’t have the well thought out plan you’d hoped for, but maybe not worry about it you’ll end up with a more fun night. With the crisps, choose the ones you want, if you don’t want them, why bring it up? You put stuff in the shopping trolly you think you need and if you look like you’re about to leave your teen will soon make some suggestions of what else they’d like included. Or they won’t, and shopping will be quicker.
The reality is, coercing someone into a decision isn’t much fun for them, and they tend to passive aggressively dig their heels in. The are seeing your questions as a way of controlling the situation (like in a very low key way, but that’s still how it reads) and they’re just not that interested in joining you in your stress and urgency. You’re hassling them, we’re hassling them- relax and see what happens, maybe they’ll occasionally surprise you.