There is a lot of research on this which I will attempt to summarise (poorly, no doubt). It also doesn’t fit every child - there will be exceptions.
Child development is broadly linear. It goes…
- Attachment
- Understanding Reward/Punishment -aka cause and effect
- Social interaction (eg reading non verbal cues)
- Reflecting/reasoning
- Executive function/problem solving/complex thinking - impulse control and empathy.
if the first step isn’t completed properly the next steps will be interrupted/won’t develop properly. Executive function is still being developed until mid 20s.
The fundamental underpinning (attachment) of Children’s secure development occurs in their first 18-24 months. (Postnatally*), it starts with the ‘serve/return’ that takes place between child and primary caregiver (not necessarily parent). Baby has a wet nappy, parent goes to them, soothes them, changes their nappy, settles them.
Baby learns they are important enough to have their needs met. They develop a secure attachment. They learn… at a sub conscious level… they are important and have a ‘place in the world’. As a result of this, they go on to be able to develop things like resilience and emotional regulation properly … everything else fundamental to being a functional adult (I.e. the following steps of child development)
Adopted babies are overwhelmingly from a background of abuse and or neglect (in the UK). When they cry they don’t have a primary caregiver soothing them. They are (often) ignored… or punished.. for crying.
These babies often - not always - develop disordered attachment. The rest of their development is interrupted as a result. Neglect is often worse than abuse… that is certainly the case with my two children where DD (neglected) is more severely impacted than DS (abused).
DS (16) cannot - and I mean cannot - link cause and effect. He cannot understand why if he watches his laptop all night after smuggling it to his room (no impulse control) he has screen time restrictions imposed. In his world, it’s grossly unfair, the parental controls I installed weren’t strong enough, it was his sisters fault for leaving the laptop in his room, if he had no restrictions he’d regulate himself (reader, he wouldn’t!)… it really is toddler logic. This logic extends into every area of his life, no matter how much we spend time helping him work out ‘what happens next’. I imagine he will get into debt as an adult, but won’t learn/take responsibility and will repeat the cycle multiple times.
DD is 14 but operates at the level of a 6 year old. No stranger danger. No road safety. Sensory processing issues. Question mark over whether she’ll ever work or live independently.
*it is possible for there to be ill effects from in utero experiences too. Alcohol, obviously, can cause FASD, but what is less known is that high stress levels during pregnancy can create elevated cortisol levels in a baby that can also have some significant effects.
That’s all to say no… it often doesn’t matter what age children are removed. The biggest impact on a child’s life is had in pregnancy/the first 18-24 months. Quite often, social services/the courts haven’t removed children before that age. Then, it’s over to the adopted parents to try to manage the arising difficulties, often with little support.
Lastly - and anecdotally - it’s said (and, knowing a lot of adopted families I would say this bears true)… around 20% or adopted children will have few to no ‘issues’… 60% medium to moderate (both my children would fall into this bracket) and 20% severe… including violence. Those thresholds, one would expect/hope, are not the same as for birth children.
Hope that helps.