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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I really need XH's permission to take DD abroad?!

176 replies

mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:12

Is this really a thing?!
Government advice states that a lone parent needs written permission to travel abroad with their child.
WTAF?!
Is this really the case?
Can anyone who has experience advise?

Thanks!

OP posts:
Triotriotrio · 01/08/2022 23:14

Yes you do. Although in reality I've only ever been asked to prove it once in 21 years of travel. Just last week I took my nephew abroad and they didn't bat an eylid. I have had them ask my kids who I am to them. Ie checking I'm their mum as I have a different surname to them.

Electriq · 01/08/2022 23:14

If they have a different surname, you should keep copies of birth cert, marriage cert, death cert ect. to prove your relationship to the child, from experience at Gatwick Airport.

Electriq · 01/08/2022 23:15

By copies I mean photocopies, I was specifically told originals not required.

Original poster
mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:16

Thanks both.

I sort of get it if a different surname, but I've the same surname. Just cannot believe this would be a normal expectation...

OP posts:
Original poster
mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:17

@Triotriotrio @Electriq how long ago did you get asked for this? Like, recently, or 20 yes back?!

OP posts:
Ducksurprise · 01/08/2022 23:18

You will get loads of people saying you don't need to but if you can get a copy of his passport and a letter if you get asked it I promise the relief will be worth it.

SoupDragon · 01/08/2022 23:19

I've travelled as a lone parent with mine for 17 years and have never been asked. We do all have the same surname though.

Ducksurprise · 01/08/2022 23:20

I have been asked this year, having the paperwork meant it took minutes to sort out.

SoupDragon · 01/08/2022 23:20

Equally, my ex has never been asked either.

Original poster
mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:20

@SoupDragon cheers. Do you have the permission prepared / ready to go if needed?

OP posts:
ASandwichNamedKevin · 01/08/2022 23:20

Any adult travelling alone with a child should carry something documenting their relationship to the child, and the permission of any parents or guardians.

I would do this and so would DH.

I think OP you might be a bit naive to think the authorities don't need to keep an eye on children leaving the country.

Original poster
mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:21

@Ducksurprise what did you have to present / show please? Thanks

OP posts:
LemonMuffins · 01/08/2022 23:21

Its definitely a normal expectation, but we've never been asked.

If you have a child arrangements order in your favour then you can take them for 28 days without permission.

MolliciousIntent · 01/08/2022 23:21

I don't get why you're surprised by this. Of course you need their other parent's permission to remove them from the country!

Coka · 01/08/2022 23:21

I have never had an issue travelling alone with my daughter, same surname. Would your DP be likely to inform the police that your child doesn't have permission to go abroad? If not then most likely you will be fine. It is not the norm for them to check.

Ducksurprise · 01/08/2022 23:21

To add, we have the same surname, I'm still married to their dad he just doesn't travel with us. We travel lots which is why I've had more experience of being asked, most won't get asked but if you do paperwork makes all the difference.

Original poster
mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:22

I'm surprised because I think it's OTT.
My XH has no issue with us going, but it just seems like major faff!

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 01/08/2022 23:23

...it's pretty basic safeguarding, surely.

Original poster
mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:23

@Ducksurprise what did you have to present / show please? Thanks

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/08/2022 23:27

mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:20

@SoupDragon cheers. Do you have the permission prepared / ready to go if needed?

Not at all. It might be that it has been problematic in more recent years and mine are now all old enough that it's just not an issue though. I'm away now but my youngest is 16!

if you are on good terms with your ex then it is worth it for peace of mind.

as has been said, with a child arrangement order you can take them out for 28 days anyway.

shivermetimbers77 · 01/08/2022 23:28

I’ve been asked at UK passport control on several occasions but my surname is different from my son’s.

I take a photocopy of my son’s birth certificate with a signed note from his father on the back saying he consents to him travelling abroad. It’s from ages ago but seems to work fine.

JaggySplinter · 01/08/2022 23:29

You just need a letter saying you have permission from the other parent to take X child abroad from y-z dates, to a named location.

If you Google a template "permission to travel" letter, you can find free templates to fill out.

SoupDragon · 01/08/2022 23:29

www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

Original poster
mumyes · 01/08/2022 23:29

The ridiculous thing is that the government advice is it just had to be a letter from the other parent?!

I mean, seriously, anyone dodgy would surely just bloody forge that anyway. Ridiculous!!

OP posts:
gogohmm · 01/08/2022 23:30

I got asked, dd was 17! Going into Canada where the age is 18 for travel. Dd told him

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