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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she is being a right CF?!

182 replies

Anon638292 · 31/07/2022 11:45

My lifelong friend had a baby shower recently. Her and DH don’t have much money to spare and it’s their first long awaited child, so I really went all out for them - a big item off their list, about £200 worth of baby clothes, a big gift for the mum-to-be, the full works.

HOWEVER…

The next day I then got sent a link, one of these ones where you can donate to buy them a slice of cake in a shop etc, saying ‘if you ever feel like spoiling me at all one day…’

AIBU to think this is being a right CF given that I had just been overly generous and ‘spoilt’ her the day before?!

OP posts:
Crimeismymiddlename · 02/08/2022 09:07

Wow, just ignore and never mention it. That is beond cf. Baby showers are awful and grabby, esp the ones for second and third children. I now rota myself into work when I am invited to one unless it is a very close friend.

ChinnyTroubles · 02/08/2022 09:08

@Anon638292 🤔Coming back anytime soon?

OctopusBreath · 02/08/2022 09:15

I dunno, if I saw a particularly lovely cake online I'd probably send a link to my fellow cake enthusiast friend with a message like that. I don't actually want her to buy it for me, it's just to show the cake. In the same way I'd send a friend a rightmove link to a million pound mansion and say, If you ever have a few quid free, I'd be happy living here.

Meraas · 02/08/2022 10:57

@OctopusBreath but this isn't that, this is a 'donate £3 a slice of cake'. People are effectively asking their friends for money.

Moomoo75 · 02/08/2022 18:12

🤣ah stop the lights! You can actually send links asking people to buy you cake!!!!!🤣🤣I love it. That pardon the pun takes the biscuit.

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 02/08/2022 18:29

Maybe she was just being ‘tongue in cheek’. Me and my friends banter like that, but only you would know as her friend I guess.

Gingerbreadmum2 · 02/08/2022 18:29

TempName01 · 31/07/2022 12:07

Deliberately misunderstand and say ‘aw thanks that’s so kind, you know I love cake 😊’

Yes this!!

Londonscalling22 · 02/08/2022 18:30

You're a huge mug. Stop buying expensive gifts for chancers.

SunshineAndFizz · 02/08/2022 18:37

What on Earth?!

Who asks someone to buy them cake like this?!

FabFitFifties · 02/08/2022 18:39

I think you've got the wrong end of the stick OP. I don't know what the right end is though.

Spaceshiphaslanded · 02/08/2022 18:46

If this was my lifelong friend she’d get told she was being a cheeky f. 😂 I don’t understand how people have best friends they can’t or aren’t totally honest with!

MibsXX · 02/08/2022 19:03

Devils advocate here, but as an avid competition enterer, do you think she has entered a competition somewhere and gets extra entries for referrals, or even just clicks on he rlink? Just a thought, when I was fat and preggers, I entered hundreds lol, out of boredom and hope!

Mamaof2males · 02/08/2022 19:14

Anon638292 · 31/07/2022 11:50

No it wasn’t a broadcast message, it was sent to me personally in a text because she had written a normal message in with it

Have we had an update what did she say, reply etc ? X

supersop60 · 02/08/2022 19:20

OP - you say she's a lifelong friend. What is your relationship usually like? You must know her pretty well, so is this behaviour normal for her? Are you able to talk to her honestly, and ask if she liked the present that you chose from her list? Ignore the cake crap.

mam0918 · 02/08/2022 19:21

You friend is a mooch... which should be obvious from the fact she had a 'shower me with gifts' party.

Tacky as fuck... but totally in line with the kind of person that would beg shamelessly for unnecassey things.

mam0918 · 02/08/2022 19:22

You friend is a mooch... which should be obvious from the fact she had a 'shower me with gifts' party.

Tacky as fuck... but totally in line with the kind of person that would beg shamelessly for unnecassey things.

M2B19 · 02/08/2022 19:24

I think the message asking for cake, in itself, is cheeky.

Mandyjack · 02/08/2022 19:43

Anon638292 · 31/07/2022 11:50

No it wasn’t a broadcast message, it was sent to me personally in a text because she had written a normal message in with it

Think I'd reply, not sure why you've just sent me that!

Mandyjack · 02/08/2022 19:45

IzzieStevens · 31/07/2022 13:39

I feel like that’s really cheeky, baby shower gifts or not. Who asks their friends to buy them cakes?!

That's what I was wondering

Thehop · 02/08/2022 19:46

”damn it, I spent hundreds on yesterdays gifts, wish I’d known just some cake would do!”

ItsJustLittleOldMe · 02/08/2022 19:49

That’s so weird!!! I went to a baby shower organised by the expectant mum who had made a gift list. (Found all of that weird) Also sent out lists of food etc we were to bring… not ‘if you want to bring something, let me know’ literally can you bring this…. Now when ever I’ve been to a baby shower it’s been small gifts to help not cots and breast pumps etc and it was all anonymous so if you could only afford some nappies you didn’t feel shitty. I feel people have got a bit entitled with this now.

Gossipxox · 02/08/2022 20:09

I would literally just be straight to the point if she’s a life long friend.. I would just say seriously are you fkn joking me? After all the gifts I gave you! I’m pregnant right now and I’m not exactly rolling in the money and I’ve been gifted some of the littlest things and I’m so grateful I can’t even understand why she would even think to request anything else after you have spent so much money I would probably be angry at my friend for spending so much money on me and baby, even though It’s lovely that you have went above and beyond she should definitely be buying you cake! Get her told OP!

Bleachmycloths · 02/08/2022 20:16

Completely ignore it.

RealBecca · 02/08/2022 20:18

"Do you mean instead of [insert expensive mum to be gift]?"

ILoveTwix · 02/08/2022 20:21

I'd have replied saying "Mate, I just spent £400 on you and the new baby. How about you buy me some bl**dy cake!" but that's the sort of friendship I have with my close friends where we can be blunt and say that without offending each other. Also my friends wouldn't dare send me such a message begging for cake after I'd spent so much on them and the baby!

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