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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she is being a right CF?!

182 replies

Anon638292 · 31/07/2022 11:45

My lifelong friend had a baby shower recently. Her and DH don’t have much money to spare and it’s their first long awaited child, so I really went all out for them - a big item off their list, about £200 worth of baby clothes, a big gift for the mum-to-be, the full works.

HOWEVER…

The next day I then got sent a link, one of these ones where you can donate to buy them a slice of cake in a shop etc, saying ‘if you ever feel like spoiling me at all one day…’

AIBU to think this is being a right CF given that I had just been overly generous and ‘spoilt’ her the day before?!

OP posts:
Sally872 · 31/07/2022 15:51

Really rude to send to anyone who attended babyshower and gave even a small gift. Especially rude when you have been vert generous.

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/07/2022 15:55

Am I right in thinking this isn't actually about "cake" at all? That like the "if you like this, buy me a coffee" things, it really means "donate some money"?

Or is it genuinely about cake?

riserved · 31/07/2022 15:57

You overdid the gifts OP, anyone who asks for free cake is a CF.

Ohexcellent · 31/07/2022 15:57

Just silently sitting over here wishing someone would send me cake 🤤🤣

In all seriousness though....your friend sounds ridiculous 🙄 I hope she has at least thanked your for the gifts! Is it the norm for you guys to buy each other so much? Baby showers are not my thing at all, not my friends thankfully!
When my best friend was coming towards the end of her pregnancy with her DS I took her out and treated her to a nice lunch. When baby arrived safely I bought him a nice gift and I took her some home cooked meals and helped practically whenever I could. She returned the favour when it was my turn to have my DS. Hundreds of pounds worth of gifts seems weird to me personally.

CallOnMe · 31/07/2022 15:59

She is a CF but then I don’t blame her tbh.

You went completely OTT with the gifts and so she probably thinks you’ve won the lotto or something.

Just reply with a light hearted message like if I knew a slice of cake would make you happier then I could have saved myself some money.

DisforDarkChocolate · 31/07/2022 15:59

I'd be worried you've moved from friend to someone she thinks needs to subsidise her choices.

JocelynBurnell · 31/07/2022 16:00

You say that she is a lifelong friend. Surely, you would have noticed by now that she is such a CF.

Otherwise, there has been a misunderstanding or something is amiss.

Elcid · 31/07/2022 16:04

I would say, sure. Did you want to return the present yesterday and I'll get you a piece of cake instead?

Somethingsnappy · 31/07/2022 16:08

I like the pp's idea of pretending you think it's a gift from her to you!

Scepticalwotsits · 31/07/2022 16:20

would be good if op could come back and give some more context to their relationship.

this matters - is this out of the ordinary for her in which case speak to her, or is OP always generous and the friend always a taker.

HannahSternDefoe · 31/07/2022 16:25

"I've spent (add up the big item, clothes, gifts) on you and you still expect me to buy you some fucking cake? Here you go - choke on it Cake "
Then block.

Badgirlriri · 31/07/2022 16:30

HannahSternDefoe · 31/07/2022 16:25

"I've spent (add up the big item, clothes, gifts) on you and you still expect me to buy you some fucking cake? Here you go - choke on it Cake "
Then block.

😂

Goldbar · 31/07/2022 16:35

If she's normally nice, I'd put it down to momentary twattishness. At some point, she'll look back and cringe.

I do slightly admire her brass neck though - seconding the person above who asked is she an influencer? She sounds quite good at monetising everyday life and day-to-day interactions 😁.

SpindleInTheWind · 31/07/2022 16:35

Thank you for the 'Buy Me a Coffee' reminder, pp!

LimeTwists · 31/07/2022 16:35

‘Haha think the baby gifts count as more of a treat than a slice of cake! Hope you enjoy them.’

Then never buy the CF anything again.

gardenofweedin · 31/07/2022 16:54

That's honestly so embarrassing for her! It sounds like you went overboard on the gifts. I'd still be blushing after such a display of generosity. It's amazing that she'd think to send a message the very next day begging for cake! How lacking in the most basic of good manners!

NCHammer2022 · 31/07/2022 17:04

I’m another who has never heard of this cake buying link thing either, wtf.

It does sound like you went a bit OTT with your generosity. I don’t think it’s a good idea to do that if there’s the potential for you to feel resentful if she doesn’t appear “grateful” enough.

Thursa · 31/07/2022 17:10

Can’t get past the buy me a slice of cake idea. Is it a coupon for a slice of cake from a shop, or just send me the cash for cake? Either way it seems like a right load of cheek…

Daisybuttercup12345 · 31/07/2022 17:12

Probably some stupid link she found on fb and sent to all her contacts.
Wouldn't bother me.

Lipsandlashes · 31/07/2022 17:16

I have never heard of this ‘buy me a treat’ thing but it sounds really presumptuous and grabby. What happened to common decency?

flyingant · 31/07/2022 17:20

I'd be tempted to respond with something along the lines of... "Are you joking? I've just spent £* on you!"

SpindleInTheWind · 31/07/2022 17:22

Daisybuttercup12345 · 31/07/2022 17:12

Probably some stupid link she found on fb and sent to all her contacts.
Wouldn't bother me.

OP says it was just to her, with a personal message included.

After spending about, what? £350-400? on the CF.

saraclara · 31/07/2022 17:22

"The expensive gifts that I gave you yesterday weren't enough?"

Seriously, I wouldn't even go jokey. I'd make it fucking clear that I'm pissed off

Hankunamatata · 31/07/2022 17:25

Never heard of buy me a cake thing. R u sure it was a thing where she had to share it so many times and get something free?

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 31/07/2022 17:37

If someone sent me a link asking for something it would put me right off. There is no way I would ever contribute to something like that.

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