Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she is being a right CF?!

182 replies

Anon638292 · 31/07/2022 11:45

My lifelong friend had a baby shower recently. Her and DH don’t have much money to spare and it’s their first long awaited child, so I really went all out for them - a big item off their list, about £200 worth of baby clothes, a big gift for the mum-to-be, the full works.

HOWEVER…

The next day I then got sent a link, one of these ones where you can donate to buy them a slice of cake in a shop etc, saying ‘if you ever feel like spoiling me at all one day…’

AIBU to think this is being a right CF given that I had just been overly generous and ‘spoilt’ her the day before?!

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 01/08/2022 22:13

Another reason to knock baby showers back to oblivion.

Livelaughlove786 · 01/08/2022 22:25

Yes, so true, is this a one off or a pattern of me me me

ivykaty44 · 01/08/2022 22:27

Id text back

Im skint already after spoiling you! perhaps buy me a slice of cake sometime as a thank you

AmyDudley · 01/08/2022 22:31

I'd reply 'Who do you think I am, Marie Antoinette ?'

Sunshineona · 01/08/2022 22:38

Hard to say without seeing the message (I’m not suggesting you post it!) any chance she included the same link in emails to everyone who came to the shower? Hopefully it wasn’t directed at you? Maybe she filled in some stupid app that automatically adds a link to all your emails 🤣

Or maybe the generous gifts have made her think you’re mega rich 🤷‍♀️

I think the best thing is to ignore the link.

But yes is CF and would piss me right off. Who asks someone to buy them cake, even without the fact that you’ve already spent hundreds of pounds? That is not a thing.

If I was feeling petty I’d write something like “Oh wow didn’t know you only wanted a slice of cake, think of all the money I could have saved on all those gifts lol.”

But the mature thing to do is just ignore her request.

Annoyingkidsmusic · 01/08/2022 23:10

Fatarseflanagan09 · 31/07/2022 15:39

People seem to get more entitled every time they give birth, have a hen party, get married etc, when kids started with prom nights they wanted ball gowns, makeup done and ferrying about in a limousine.
pamper parties for four year olds and cake smash parties for toddlers, everything is a competition who can afford the most, everything’s grab grab grab and it’s sickening.

Yep, it’s gross. I think a baby shower is quite a grabby trend in itself, tbh.

Teenagehorrorbag · 01/08/2022 23:15

Good God! Imo baby showers are tacky, grabby things anyway - but I didn't know they came with lists! So you bought her a big item off her list, £200 of baby clothes AND a big present for her??? Are you Kardashians?

The whole thing sounds utterly bonkers. Whatever happened to a nice little present for the baby when it arrives, chosen by the giver? If they feel like it?

The cake thing pales into insignificance really........

Sswhinesthebest · 01/08/2022 23:34

Yup cf definitely.
id definitely say something sarcastic but in a jokey way!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/08/2022 00:15

It's not 'cheeky' of her for you to spend £200 on her baby shower. What a daft thing to do. Your decision. And now you're blaming her for it!? It's all on you.

And no, you don't have to buy any cake.

Foronenightonly22 · 02/08/2022 00:31

Cheeseandlobster · 31/07/2022 12:17

This. Maybe put "You cheeky moo 🤣🤣" after to make it more jokey if you have that sort of relationship

Show quote history

I’d reply “buy your own bloody cake”

i

StClare101 · 02/08/2022 03:05

“Oh my god, X, I think someone has hacked your phone! I just got this crazy message asking me to pay for cake!”

illiterato · 02/08/2022 04:24

@Bobby80 I've never seen this specific one but I'm assuming it's similar to an app called "buy me a coffee" which is used by free online content providers to solicit donations for their work - they have a link in their bio normally. I support a couple of Twitter contributors using it as I find their stuff useful. The idea is it's kind of an equivalent of when you buy someone a coffee as a thanks because it's not appropriate to pay them. However, it's intended to be reciprocal, not just a way to beg for cash.

a1poshpaws · 02/08/2022 04:30

My favourite response is the last one from@StClare101
“Oh my god, X, I think someone has hacked your phone! I just got this crazy message asking me to pay for cake!”

Perfect!

Rafting2022 · 02/08/2022 05:12

“so I really went all out for them - a big item off their list, about £200 worth of baby clothes, a big gift for the mum-to-be”

How much did you spend on her???

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 02/08/2022 05:28

Ask her would she like cream with that??

Meraas · 02/08/2022 06:02

The more you give to people, the more they expect. And for some, they will never be satisfied and expect more and more.

I would move to no presents or token presents now, unless you want to be buying big gifts every year now.

arrogantorwhat37 · 02/08/2022 06:36

Annoyingkidsmusic · 01/08/2022 23:10

Yep, it’s gross. I think a baby shower is quite a grabby trend in itself, tbh.

Show quote history

As above,,,

Bobby80 · 02/08/2022 06:42

illiterato · 02/08/2022 04:24

@Bobby80 I've never seen this specific one but I'm assuming it's similar to an app called "buy me a coffee" which is used by free online content providers to solicit donations for their work - they have a link in their bio normally. I support a couple of Twitter contributors using it as I find their stuff useful. The idea is it's kind of an equivalent of when you buy someone a coffee as a thanks because it's not appropriate to pay them. However, it's intended to be reciprocal, not just a way to beg for cash.

In that context it makes a lot more sense.

mrpopperspenguinbiscuits · 02/08/2022 07:11

So cheeky

SummerHoliStress · 02/08/2022 07:30

TempName01 · 31/07/2022 12:07

Deliberately misunderstand and say ‘aw thanks that’s so kind, you know I love cake 😊’

YES. I love this

"Aww thanks I love cake! Did you like all the baby stuff I got you? Xx"

Great response

HoppingPavlova · 02/08/2022 07:43

“Oh my god, X, I think someone has hacked your phone! I just got this crazy message asking me to pay for cake!”

Yes, this suggestion from a previous poster is the only way to go.

What a cheeky fucker. Baby Shower aside, who the hell sends out a message to friends for a Go fund me’ for cake? Preposterous.

Zoom101 · 02/08/2022 08:17

I’m being kind here but are you sure she hasn’t misunderstood the wording of the link and wants to treat you to a piece of cake to thank you?

If not, then she is definitely a CF!

Pottedpalm · 02/08/2022 08:29

I think you are mad to spend all that money; £200 on baby clothes??? More fool you!

pylonpal · 02/08/2022 08:42

Zoom101 · 02/08/2022 08:17

I’m being kind here but are you sure she hasn’t misunderstood the wording of the link and wants to treat you to a piece of cake to thank you?

If not, then she is definitely a CF!

Yes, is this possible?

She should be feeling overwhemingly grateful to you, which makes me think maybe she is trying to buy you cake.

Or she could just be a serious CF.

diddl · 02/08/2022 08:43

I'd feel like taking everything back, returning it & buying cake for me!