To think she is being a right CF?!

[Anon638292]

My lifelong friend had a baby shower recently. Her and DH don’t have much money to spare and it’s their first long awaited child, so I really went all out for them - a big item off their list, about £200 worth of baby clothes, a big gift for the mum-to-be, the full works.

HOWEVER…

The next day I then got sent a link, one of these ones where you can donate to buy them a slice of cake in a shop etc, saying ‘if you ever feel like spoiling me at all one day…’

AIBU to think this is being a right CF given that I had just been overly generous and ‘spoilt’ her the day before?!

Is she an “influencer”?

Ask her if she’s opened your gift yet…. What a cf!

I'd say, surely you have plenty of cake left over from yesterday. Have you opened my gifts yet?

Given the update, then the only possible reply is something long the lines of “WTAF? do you have any concept of how much I spoilt you yesterday?? Where’s my cake to say thank you?!”

I feel like that’s really cheeky, baby shower gifts or not. Who asks their friends to buy them cakes?!

I would just go back with 'ha ha cheeky cow, I think we can safely say I've already spoiled you 🤣'

Did the normal message include a huge thank you for all the baby gifts?

It's rude.

the cheeky cow.

@PeachCottonTree Aah that makes sense, I've seen that a couple of times on Twitter where people link to blogs or podcasts or whatever. A more informal / less committed version of Patreon.

I can't get my head around someone just sending it out to their friends though!!

Send her a link to the something you like that’s just a little bit more expensive and say “And if you even feel like spoiling me…”

Seriously, I think I would probably find it off putting too, OP. I have a few friends where we might joke about buying each other things, but it would be more like a super yacht or a massive country estate, not something that we were serious about. Her apparent seriousness and doing it right after you’d just bought her stuff makes it seem like she’s really taking your generosity for granted.

If she has always been a bit of a taker, I would just drop this friendship, she isn’t going change for the better. If this is unusual for her then chalk it up to hormones the first time and ignore. But if it happens again I would just tell her you don’t think it’s on, and see how she responds.

Yes, I like this response.

Very off putting.

She clearly has gotten very use to you being the giver.

What sort of thanks have you received for your generosity?

I would shut that purse of yours firmly.

Manners and appreciation go a long way.

Has she form for being a bit grabby?

Jesus. I’d reply I know you’re eating for two so cake is definitely welcome.Thing is my love, I have treated you already, have you not opened your gifts?! I’m a bit worried they have gone missing from the pile 🤔
That gives her time to realise she’s been a knob or apologise.

I like this response too. Or the one from @fakename13778

What did you say OP?

This

I'd send back a message to say something along the lines of We all love being spoiled sometimes so you are looking forward to seeing which piece of cake she is going to send you & add a link if you need to send one so she really could.

Then wait & see if she does.

I can’t figure out the donate a cake thing for individuals?? I googled but all I can find is donating to children in need etc through charities.

I wondered if it might have been part of another gift or a sign up offer or something (a bit like those refer a friend things). I can’t imagine someone creating a go fund me type of thing for a cake for themselves😂 wouldn’t even acknowledge it.

I'd say...you can't have your cake and eat it you greedy whelp...and then a smiley face.

People seem to get more entitled every time they give birth, have a hen party, get married etc, when kids started with prom nights they wanted ball gowns, makeup done and ferrying about in a limousine.
pamper parties for four year olds and cake smash parties for toddlers, everything is a competition who can afford the most, everything’s grab grab grab and it’s sickening.

I didn't even know this was a thing. Who actually sends their friends a link asking for money to buy cake?? Isn't that just begging?? The world has gone mad.

erm ok odd

and lists for baby showers now its getting ridiculous i gather she'll expect another gift when the baby is born

Did she say thank you for the gifts?

Gosh, that's so much to spend, did everybody send that? Is that what she expects?
I'd spend max 30 pounds on a baby shower I think and maybe a little more when baby comes.
If she's used to getting spoiled she might think nothing of asking for cake..
I think I'd have to say something - 'gosh, if you only want cake will I take everything else back'.
I definitely wouldn't be buying her anything else and would be questioning whether to return some of the gifts if she isn't being grateful.

Thankful that I’m old and had my kids before all this baby shower grabbing shit started.