To want to meet a wealthy man

[Whatsthematterwithyou]

Is there anything wrong with it?

I wish I’d made different decisions when younger and considered ambition and drive when looking for a partner.
I met my ex in my teens and was with him until two years ago (I’m 44 now)
I’m single now with a young dd. I live abroad around a very wealthy area and it’s all I see.
I have always worked hard, in a satisfying role that makes a difference, but ultimately doesn’t pay massively well, I adore my job and get by okay.
I keep thinking about going out in my area/going to the local gym, in the hopes of meeting a wealthy man. It’s not just about the finances…it’s the ambition, drive, likely intellect etc
Is this wrong to think like this/want this?

Whilst I would rule out dating anyone who was unemployed or in a minimum payment job, I would not seek out wealth. If you really want a wealthy man to marry you will most probably have to look for one much older than yourself as the ones who are 40 will want a 20 year old model. Try sailing, golf or bridge clubs. Sign up for a beginners course in sailing or bridge. You might meet someone.

You are being unreasonable because a man is surely worth more than his wealth

he may be an arsehole

you live in a wealthy area capitalise on it in other ways

start your own private tutoring business and tutor the kids of wealthy parents make your own wealth

but I’m driven by my own success and don’t rely on my dh for anything

Exactly

I don’t think it’s unreasonable OP, but don’t let it be no.1

Also are you working towards a headship?

To live a life doing mostly what you want but have somebody else work the hours to pay for it.

I think you're absolutely right.

I’ve been thinking lately how it’s quite a struggle to have a nice quality of life on a single income when you do a satisfying, meaningful, but not especially well paid job. I’m in this situation too.
However, I’d rather live a modest life independently than be reliant on someone else’s wealth.
If I did happen to meet the man of my dreams, and he happened to be loaded, I wouldn’t run away mind 🤣

I have a relationship where we don't live together. In fact I am early retired and my partner still works. We live in different counties and see each other once a month. Sometimes staying at mine, other times staying at his. I am lucky in that he contributes monthly towards my savings. We are both widowed with no kids. It has worked for us for 9 years. He is not wealthy, nowhere near it, but he certainly makes my life more comfortable. I couldn't live with a man again because like he, I am too set in my ways.

Which is it - judge SAHMs for dipping their fingers in their partners' wallets or don't judge them because they're entitled to live as per the agreement they've made with their partner?

Yes, because creating a family together and agreeing that one person should stay home to help raise them whilst sharing the family income is exactly the same as deliberately going out and choosing someone to ponce off, because you want more money for you and your daughter 🙄🙄

Having said that, the OP's fucked off anyway so I'm not sure she's serious.

My husband isn't wealthy but he earns a good wage, and I'm the SAHM/carer to our disabled child. It wasn't what we planned. Most days I'm fine but occasionally I wish I had my old life back where people reported to me and respected me.

@TeapotTitties No I’ve not 🤷🏻‍♀️

Op

Nothing unreasonable

but unfortunately as a mid forties single mum - I think that ship has sailed for you.

i thankfully was scooped up by my very wealthy husband (now ex. Even better to divorce a very wealthy man 😂) because I was mid twenties, for hours and utterly devoid of responsibilities - so I could lavish him with attention (no hardship as I genuinely loved him). You couldn’t do this!

Agnetha is that you?

Yes that’s thoroughly reasonable op, you want money so get youtself to the gym and see if you can find some random who will give you his.

I thought the same as you op. I got my wealthy man and lived to regret it. Most jobs that pay well are either immoral or incredibly demanding of time and soul or both. Turned out my wealthy man had to do a lot of very dysfunctional things to cope with the demands of his job. I kept telling myself it was worth it for the life style. When we inevitably separated he was so so so tight. Put money above everything, including the children. Did things like come into my house to take the childrens slippers for his house to avoid having to buy any himself 🙄😂.

I get it though op. Wealth is attractive. It's just that the men that go with it aren't always quite so attractive.

This is very true.
I always wanted to meet someone who had the potential to be very successful but it didn’t work out.
I do wish I hadn’t wasted 5 years of my 20s on someone who was obviously never going to do well.

I can see both sides of the argument here. When I met DH he was in between temping jobs, had no qualifications or prospects. He was broke, but I didn't care because he was the kindest, funniest man I'd ever met. Now he's a high earner having worked his way up the ladder over many years and gained professional qualifications whilst working full time, but that wasn't on the cards back then as his ambition really only kicked in when we started planning a family. On the one hand I'm glad I married for love and it feels wrong to choose a partner based on what they bring to the table financially rather than who they are as a person. But I was 20 when I met DH and obviously your priorities do change. I recognise that you're in a different position, OP as you already have a child to think about and need security. On balance I don't think you're wrong to want a man who is in a good position financially, but I would hate to be married to someone I didn't truly adore however rich he was.

I am happy because I don't want much, I have a home with a garden, I have been married , divorced, married again, widowed, I had 2 sons, one died at 26, one has problems with poor mental health, drugs and drink, he lives with me. I worked once my sons were at school, never earned a lot, but have a small pension. If you are seriously thinking a wealthy man is the answer to happiness, you will never be happy. If you have enough to live, happiness comes from inside, not from material wealth.

I never cared about money when i was younger and spent many years in an abusive marriage. Im now single and literally the only reason I would be in a proper relationship or get married again would be because they were wealthy.

Nothing wrong with setting your sights high.

I think this was in the book Alabama Song:

Don't marry for money. Go where the rich people are, then marry for love.

@Whatsthematterwithyou you need to take up Golf! Worked (3 times) for my friends mum …

I wouldn't actively seek out a wealthy man necessarily but I want to protect what I've got and not have to 'keep' someone else. I always pay my way and would prefer someone who is comfortable. I don't want to live with anyone and I don't expect to be subsidised. Nothing wrong with wanting the same imo OP.

If it worked three times, did it work?

Count your blessings it sounds like you have a few!

Start off with finding a like minded person who has the same family values and morals and treats you well, then see if he likes to spend his spare time in the way that you also like to, then consider if he’s attractive…. And then finally consider if he’s wealthy or not. If you want a man with money, he isn’t going to be around for very long if none of the other essential criteria are met.

What’s better than marrying a wealthy man?

divorcing one