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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

283 replies

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:52

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant.

An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed.

So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go.

It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking).
I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised.

She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!!
Help!!

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 28/07/2022 20:55

I'd buy foods I know she'd like then enjoy a couple of relaxing days with her.
If you are knackered then it will probably do you good to not be going out and about and talking the night away just for a couple of days

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:56

I should have added that her attitude towards food is absolutely fine and I completely understand and agree with her ethics - I just feel it's a bit last minute to spring such strict requirements on me with not much time to plan. Who doesn't love a good pub roast on a Sunday?!

OP posts:
Caspianberg · 28/07/2022 20:56

Chicken in oven. Salad. Bread.
Just enjoy her company at home, and a few local short walks.

NuffSaidSam · 28/07/2022 20:57

If she wants pasta and butter then give her that. It's easy to find, easy to cook, easy to clean up afterwards. She's hardly demanding 3 courses at every meal. You order an Indian takeaway and she can have her pasta. In fact, it's probably best she cooks it herself because then she can make it just how she likes it.

If you have guests you do need to factor in their interests, surely you can go one weekend without eating out or 'talking the night away'?!

FurAndFeathers · 28/07/2022 20:57

Surely she can be vegetarian or pop to the shop herself?

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:58

@IncompleteSenten she said she will eat butter and pasta so I said I will take her to waitrose so she can choose then herself. I know whatever I buy will be wrong.

I enjoy going out for dinner and find it relaxing. It's quite a normal thing to do!

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 28/07/2022 20:58

Well she sounds like a delight!!!! Honestly I would leave her with her cheese and go and get my Indian.....and good luck, I feel its going to be a long weekend 🤣

SnackSizeRaisin · 28/07/2022 20:58

She sounds a bit ridiculous about the food. If I am a guest I just go along with what the host decides - obviously would say if I really don't like a specific type of food.
Seems rude to insist the host cooks for you if they planned to go out. She can eat vegetarian or vegan if worried about the meat. Should be easy in an Indian restaurant.
Or you go out and she just sits with you and has a drink? You obviously can't just eat pasta with butter. And wine is a bit tactless too.

user143677433 · 28/07/2022 20:59

She’s essentially saying she doesn’t want to eat out. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:59

@Caspianberg this was my original idea but I don't think she will eat any chicken I could find! Not even an organic waitrose chicken

OP posts:
Plumtreebob · 28/07/2022 20:59

I’d just buy lots of salad and picky bits and then she can just help herself and it can all be more relaxed. I am a bit funny about eating out after I caught campylobacter a few years ago from a restaurant so I understand her reservations about cleanliness.

DisforDarkChocolate · 28/07/2022 21:00

Tell her to pack some food she likes and put your feet up.

marlowe5 · 28/07/2022 21:02

I would just a couple of quiche, nice bread, ham, cheese etc and have nice picky options. Less work. Easy

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:02

@Ilikewinter yeah I know!! I can't wait for Monday to be honest!! I don't have many weekends left before baby and we are struggling to fit everything and everyone in so I'm a bit miffed tbh

OP posts:
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:03

@marlowe5 that's a good idea... other than she won't eat eggs if she doesn't know where they came from 🙈

OP posts:
gamerchick · 28/07/2022 21:03

Just have your takeaway and make her pasta and butter. Or tell her to bring food with her that she's likes and is acceptable to her. Book your table and go out for your meal when you want. She's welcome to join you even if she doesn't want to eat.

Youdoyoutoday · 28/07/2022 21:04

OMG send her this

Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.
TheFormidableMrsC · 28/07/2022 21:05

Youdoyoutoday · 28/07/2022 21:04

OMG send her this

🤣🤣🤣

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 28/07/2022 21:05

Why have you even agreed to have her stay?

Everything you've said makes you sound like you're dreading it. Why put yourself in this position esp when you're pregnant!

I avoid people I don't like. I don't invite them to stay

Fuckitydoodah · 28/07/2022 21:06

I'd just get the food you'd normally eat and she'll either have to lump it or go hungry.

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:07

@PeppaPigIsAnnoying I haven't seen her for years, she's never met my partner and thought I would give her the benefit of the doubt! Also it was booked back in March- you know when you don't really think it through when it's so long away?! Haha. This is way worse than I remember her though. We used to go out for dinner and have a lovely evening back in the day!

OP posts:
Vallmo47 · 28/07/2022 21:07

I agree with sending the positive covid test.

ManateeFair · 28/07/2022 21:07

She sounds irritatingly dictatorial and I would find her general domineering and pushy attitude really annoying, but also her food requirements are incredibly easy to meet - she has literally said she’s happy with plain pasta and butter! Pasta with a tomato sauce and chunky veg is a piece of piss to prepare and it won’t kill you to eat at home for two days. If she’s bringing cheese, fine; she can eat that. You can still ‘talk the night away’ round the table without going to a restaurant. It’s one weekend of your life.

birdling · 28/07/2022 21:08

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:03

@marlowe5 that's a good idea... other than she won't eat eggs if she doesn't know where they came from 🙈

Tell her they came from a chicken who you know very well that lives down the road.
She's not going to know 👍

thefirstmrsrochester · 28/07/2022 21:08

Take her to Waitrose and let her pick what she wants, and you pick what you want. Sorted.

Totally jealous that you live so rurally and have a Waitrose.