Page 5 | Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

mummysept22 · 2022-07-28T19:52:39+00:00

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant. An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed. So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go. It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking). I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised. She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!! Help!!

Nc830 · 28/07/2022 22:41

Why did I read this in an Italian accent

Spohn · 28/07/2022 22:41

Does she not care about where the eggs in pasta come from? 😄

ShandaLear · 28/07/2022 22:42

Why don’t you just take her to the local shop when she gets there and get her to pick what she wants? Easy Italian sounds like an easy win. Pasta, tomatoes, mozzarella, bit of basil and olive oil, and some nice bread would be delicious and easy.

FurAndFeathers · 28/07/2022 22:42

This doesn’t have to be as difficult as you’re making it.

get some decent bread, butter, houmous crackers and salad
soup
eggs (I know that you’ve decided already that she won’t eat them but Waitrose have excellent welfare standards. I know it’s an old fashioned suggestion but perhaps you could have a conversation and understand what she means when she says she wants to know where they’re from rather than assuming nowhere will be good enough ?)
Pesto, pasta and Ragu
high welfare meat (Waitrose) or do you have a local butcher she can chat to?

it actually sounds pretty straight forward

Greengagesnfennel · 28/07/2022 22:43

Sorry op I think you don't sound like much of a host. You want to make all the plans to be things you want to do and are miffed that you might have to do what your guest wants instead. Her 'last minute demands' don't sound too difficult to accommodate. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Original poster

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:43

@Arenanewbie great idea!!! I don't usually buy it but filled pasta is actually quite nice! Crab sounds delicious 😋 x

OP posts:

HangOnToYourself · 28/07/2022 22:43

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:58

@IncompleteSenten she said she will eat butter and pasta so I said I will take her to waitrose so she can choose then herself. I know whatever I buy will be wrong.

I enjoy going out for dinner and find it relaxing. It's quite a normal thing to do!

You can surely manage without it for 1 weekend though?

Chouetted · 28/07/2022 22:49

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:08

@Arenanewbie if I could enjoy the cheese and wine it would be fab haha. I just can't bear the thought of her eating pasta and butter and my husband and I eating a proper meal. Or her sitting there with peanuts if we are having a lunch out. It's all on me but I just love having people over and love entertaining. I could have catered for her if I'd have known before now.

If that's what she wants, I don't see why you can't bear the thought of making her happy and giving her what she wants. It's not like she's going to be sitting there feeling left out.

Chouetted · 28/07/2022 22:51

And why isn't pasta and butter a proper meal? It sounds delish.

Leftbutcameback · 28/07/2022 22:58

If she's that particular on the source of eggs and meat you just have to treat her as vegan surely?

Anactor · 28/07/2022 23:00

Hmm… as a coeliac who’s had some nightmares with restaurants, it sounds like your aunt has had a bad experience with restaurant food, is maybe having some digestive problems or IBS and doesn’t want to say. Usually when people are that picky, there’s a reason.

If she’s offering to bring cheese and says pasta and butter are fine, go with it. (That sounds like me and my ‘safe food’ supply.) Think crackers, oatcakes, veggies. Buy veggie stuff like hummus if you like to eat it, then you can say ‘we’ve got xxx - would you like some?’ Get stuff you can pop back in the cupboard if she doesn’t want it.

Peanuts are great, nuts and raisins, both high calorie/high protein. Don’t be surprised if she’s really keen on looking at food labels or where the eggs etc are from. If it is something like IBS or maybe under investigation, you do really, really need to know exactly what’s in the food.

Somethingneedstochange · 28/07/2022 23:00

It's only one weekend get a takeaway and leave her to have what she wants. Will she have salad with her pasta? I love spinach and cherry tomatoes on the side.

NumberTheory · 28/07/2022 23:07

OP I don’t think the diet is that hard to cater for but totally understand the annoyance at being informed of restrictions 24 hrs before she turns up. That is really rude of her.

But I think you should not stress too much about not having stuff in for her. Take her at her word that she’s fine with pasta and butter and serve it up cheerfully as though you’ve really gone out of your way to get her exactly what she wants.

Or get a shop of whatever you normally eat. Take the meat etc. out of the wrappings and throw those out and put it in plain plastic. And just tell her you’ve sourced it all from local farms. Then exclaim at how expensive it is.

When she offers the wine and cheese, look at them disdainfully and say “Obviously, I don’t eat that.” Then smile as though it’s perfectly normal to rudely reject what you’re being kindly offered at a point when there’s no good opportunity to change things.

semideponent · 28/07/2022 23:09

I find it a bit weird that the fact you're heavily pregnant isn't featuring much on the thread, OP. I like the idea of you spending your last few weekends before birth and the post partum period the way you like. It sounds as if you don't really believe your aunt would genuinely be okay with pasta and butter if you were having something else...and maybe not even then. I think the only way is making her responsible for herself and on at least one of the days going ahead with whatever it was you would have done. Maybe it won't be the same for you, but it might mean she figures out how to get along with you and even how to be more supportive of you (if you're lucky).

Octomore · 28/07/2022 23:11

Spohn · 28/07/2022 22:41

Does she not care about where the eggs in pasta come from? 😄

Most pasta that you'd buy in the UK does not contain eggs though?

DoingJustFine · 28/07/2022 23:12

I'd lie (probably) and tell her the Aldi chicken was actually from the local farm shop. And that it had been called Valerie, was a Scorpio, and enjoyed Mozart.

GreenestValley · 28/07/2022 23:14

I’m really confused.

i love eating out too but two nights isnt too hard to go without that is it?

Presumably your average weeknight evening involves cooking a low key meal. Just do a bit more of whatever you’d usually have. Not a big deal.

Lilyann60 · 28/07/2022 23:14

Cancel it. You don’t need this stress at 8 months pregnant.

GreenestValley · 28/07/2022 23:16

NumberTheory · 28/07/2022 23:07

OP I don’t think the diet is that hard to cater for but totally understand the annoyance at being informed of restrictions 24 hrs before she turns up. That is really rude of her.

But I think you should not stress too much about not having stuff in for her. Take her at her word that she’s fine with pasta and butter and serve it up cheerfully as though you’ve really gone out of your way to get her exactly what she wants.

Or get a shop of whatever you normally eat. Take the meat etc. out of the wrappings and throw those out and put it in plain plastic. And just tell her you’ve sourced it all from local farms. Then exclaim at how expensive it is.

When she offers the wine and cheese, look at them disdainfully and say “Obviously, I don’t eat that.” Then smile as though it’s perfectly normal to rudely reject what you’re being kindly offered at a point when there’s no good opportunity to change things.

look at them disdainfully?
why is everyone being so weird 🤔

Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:18

Greengagesnfennel · 28/07/2022 22:43

Sorry op I think you don't sound like much of a host. You want to make all the plans to be things you want to do and are miffed that you might have to do what your guest wants instead. Her 'last minute demands' don't sound too difficult to accommodate. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.

What part of she lives on an island far away from shops and is limited in what she can buy there so cannot cater to these ridiculously restrictive sudden dietary preferences AND she is 8 months pregnant did you not understand? !!!

I'm not heavily pg, I live near sebewlnsuoemarkets in mainland and even I couldn't find - eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised from. That's not being a good host that's being sent on a wild goose chase for which I have NO time and wouldn't be able to fit that into my busy day, my guests get fed well, I can cater for vegan vegetarian lacto vegetarian 🌱 allergies and all sorts of im given plenty of notice but I'm not trekking 30 miles to a farm to buy home grown hand goods or rested meat ! You want that, then bring your own!!
There's a level of reasonable hosting and a level of CFery entitlement. Her Aunt did not eat like this before, they used to eat out in London before without these issues so for aunt to expect this at last minute would be cray.

Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:19

*Hand reared

And *several supermarkets

Original poster

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 23:20

@semideponent thank you!! I think I'm just getting tired and really didn't need all these extra things to think about so last minute. I had the weekend planned for a while and it was stress free and easy. I don't think it would have been unreasonable for her to tell me she has these restrictions sooner. I would have happily catered - I often get deliveries from local farms etc. you just can't do it with less than a days notice. And I am really annoyed that with so few weekends left I am wishing this one over before it has begun 😂 it may turn out ok, we shall see! She may be happy with pasta and butter but a few weeks ago she happened to ask what I was having for dinner that evening, I answered 'chicken veg and pasta' and she replied that she doesn't eat pasta - so I am a little confused 😐 x

OP posts:

takeitandleaveit · 28/07/2022 23:22

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:03

@marlowe5 that's a good idea... other than she won't eat eggs if she doesn't know where they came from 🙈

I know what I'd be tempted to say... 😂

bellac11 · 28/07/2022 23:22

Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:18

What part of she lives on an island far away from shops and is limited in what she can buy there so cannot cater to these ridiculously restrictive sudden dietary preferences AND she is 8 months pregnant did you not understand? !!!

I'm not heavily pg, I live near sebewlnsuoemarkets in mainland and even I couldn't find - eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised from. That's not being a good host that's being sent on a wild goose chase for which I have NO time and wouldn't be able to fit that into my busy day, my guests get fed well, I can cater for vegan vegetarian lacto vegetarian 🌱 allergies and all sorts of im given plenty of notice but I'm not trekking 30 miles to a farm to buy home grown hand goods or rested meat ! You want that, then bring your own!!
There's a level of reasonable hosting and a level of CFery entitlement. Her Aunt did not eat like this before, they used to eat out in London before without these issues so for aunt to expect this at last minute would be cray.

Show quote history

The guest hasnt asked for all that, she said shes happy with pasta and butter and was bringing her own cheese and wine.

No wonder become so stressed in life if they insist on making life harder for themselves than it needs to be

Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:23

Take her at her word that she’s fine with pasta and butter and serve it up cheerfully as though you’ve really gone out of your way to get her exactly what she wants.

Or get a shop of whatever you normally eat. Take the meat etc. out of the wrappings and throw those out and put it in plain plastic. And just tell her you’ve sourced it all from local farms. Then exclaim at how expensive it is.

Lol!!!
Very tempting to do this! Hide the packaging well though in your wheelie bin! Put them in dishes in your fridge out of the packaging as if you'd decanted from paper bags .., but don't invite her back again as that'd be too exhausting to keep up ..!

"Sorry Auntie I can't cater for your specific dietary needs .. will see you another time and other place where you can sort out your food to your preference. It cost me a fortune last time as I had to contact a friend of a farmer and they since moved..,"