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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

283 replies

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:52

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant.

An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed.

So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go.

It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking).
I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised.

She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!!
Help!!

OP posts:
Dashel · 28/07/2022 21:37

Waitrose do some really good vegan bits, but I would go with picky bits, bread sticks, hummus, falafel, carrot sticks or be lazy and get ready meals.

Failing that make a quick vegan chickpea curry and rice (microwave maybe)? Or jacket potatoes, beans and sausages/ veggie sausages?

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:39

@ickthe it's been quite a few years since I saw her so was giving her the benefit of the doubt. I did not expect her behaviour to be this extreme. But you're right I should be stronger to tell her straight now how it's making me feel and that she's being unreasonable so late in the day, so there are boundary issues there. I am a bit crap at that.

Definitely not a cost issue and she knows it won't be an issue for me either.

OP posts:
rnsaslkih · 28/07/2022 21:40

Perhaps your husband now has covid

saraclara · 28/07/2022 21:41

She sounds annoying. But it's two days!

I don't get why you can't do the walks and day out that you planned. Just pack a picnic if you're out at lunchtime. And for one evening meal go Italian and chat around your own dining table, for the other, have fish and chips (unless she's fussy about fish too). That's not much in the way of bacteria that can survive deep frying.

ickthe · 28/07/2022 21:42

Also, forgive me, I'm tired but I've read your OP three times and I can't find a single "ridiculous last minute request" of which you speak in your OP.

You say she won't eat meat or eggs if she doesn't know the source but you also say she hasn't requested anything other than pasta and butter. Could you be exaggerating/projecting/going along with a family narrative?

Breath. Ground yourself in the facts not the fiction and get on with your weekend.

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:42

@Mum2jenny yeah not worried about that at all! I just got back from Glastonbury with my friends and their 4 month old... a few meals out will be a walk in the park. Haha. Also not obsessed with eating out it's just what we used to do together and quite a normal thing to do when having guests come to stay. Especially when you're heavily pregnant and can't be bothered cooking! Picky bits it is!! X

OP posts:
saraclara · 28/07/2022 21:43

STOP SAYING "PICKY BITS", PEOPLE!!!!!

😫🤐🙄😖😂

Kamia · 28/07/2022 21:44

Tell her to bring a hen, a cow and some fish in a tank then she will know where her food is from.

AWobABobBob · 28/07/2022 21:45

@CafeCremeMerci is definitely your Aunty.

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:45

@saraclara she won't do fish and chips as she is watching her weight and won't like the oil they use. she doesn't do takeaways. But yes- pasta and picnic it is! X

OP posts:
listsandbudgets · 28/07/2022 21:46

You're on an island? She wants to know how her dinner lived and how or died?

Do you have a fishing rod she can use? She will know ot lived in the se and died at her hand.. perhaps she can ask it for its life story before she deals the final blow.

I've got a friend like this though shes rapidly moving g towards being an exý friend. She phoned 2 hours before dinner and said did she mention she was currently only eating eggs, meat and cheese and salad ( she only eats halal meat which is fine but I didn't have any). I looked at the lovely macaroni cheese and garlic bread and said unfortunately not but I'd do her and tomato omelette with a big salad..
Her reply " just so you know I only eat duck eggs". She got slices of cheese with some salad!!

AWobABobBob · 28/07/2022 21:47

listsandbudgets · 28/07/2022 21:46

You're on an island? She wants to know how her dinner lived and how or died?

Do you have a fishing rod she can use? She will know ot lived in the se and died at her hand.. perhaps she can ask it for its life story before she deals the final blow.

I've got a friend like this though shes rapidly moving g towards being an exý friend. She phoned 2 hours before dinner and said did she mention she was currently only eating eggs, meat and cheese and salad ( she only eats halal meat which is fine but I didn't have any). I looked at the lovely macaroni cheese and garlic bread and said unfortunately not but I'd do her and tomato omelette with a big salad..
Her reply " just so you know I only eat duck eggs". She got slices of cheese with some salad!!

🤣🤣🤣

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:48

@listsandbudgets 🤣 good plan!!! She told me months ago she was excited to try the local seafood. I'm hoping the platter I've ordered will be satisfactory! 😬

OP posts:
nomistake · 28/07/2022 21:50

Meh, you're being a bit dramatic. She doesn't eat out, fair enough. Just get some picky bits in. Sounds like you're a foodie and she's not.

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:50

@listsandbudgets I'm glad you get it! She sounds like a pain in the arse too.

It's more the fact that this weekend has been planned for so long and it's so late in the day to be telling me. It's vastly different to how she ate and how we would spend our time together a few years ago - we used to spend a lot of time together when I lived in London.

OP posts:
Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 21:52

OP you live in an island and you are 8 months pregnant

So give her what you've got. Go out for meal or order a takeaway in , if she complains, say,"Auntie I am 8 months pregnant and we live on an island. I'm afraid you will have to eat what we have or make it yourself from my cupboards..,, too late in the day to tell me you only eat organic homegrown chickens hand reared on a farm you've visited .., few people an cater to that especially with less than 13 hours notice"

Limecoconutice · 28/07/2022 21:54

saraclara · 28/07/2022 21:43

STOP SAYING "PICKY BITS", PEOPLE!!!!!

😫🤐🙄😖😂

Oh yes, hear , hear to this!

LampLighter414 · 28/07/2022 21:54

next time just say you are busy when she suggests visiting

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:55

@LampLighter414 I think I will! It was a benefit of a the doubt weekend and I have no more doubt. X

OP posts:
Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 21:56

I really couldn't be doing with this. And I wouldn't pretend I was going to run around after her either. Or even waddle around after her.

Laugh and say "we can give you a fishing rod and you can go catch your own fish if you'd like, if not, then it's the local Indian takeaway 😄 "

(If your guests are rude and demanding , you tell them to pack it in, or go sort themselves out something )

bellac11 · 28/07/2022 21:56

She sounds incredibly easy, just get pasta and butter for her, shes bringing cheese and wine, you get your indian. Whats the ridiculous last minute requests you're referring to?

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:58

@Tiani4 I need to get better at this!!!

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 28/07/2022 21:58

Why are you putting yourself through this at 8 months pregnant. No way I'd have fussy guests at 8 months.

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:59

@Shehasadiamondinthesky we planned it months ago and she never used to be quite so bad!!! 🙈

OP posts:
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:00

@Shehasadiamondinthesky also- first child I had no idea 🤣

OP posts:
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