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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

283 replies

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:52

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant.

An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed.

So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go.

It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking).
I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised.

She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!!
Help!!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/07/2022 22:01

If you let this mad woman into your house and run around her while eight months pregnant, it's on you.

Just say no.

Luredbyapomegranate · 28/07/2022 22:03

Get her some veggie ready meals (m and s or Waitrose or cook if possible) get in some pasta, salad, bread, cheese, humous, tomatoes, cucumber, butter and let her eat some section of that when you have your takeaway.

When you go out book a nice place with decent veggie options, and if she wants to just eat the cheese board it’s up to her.

Arenanewbie · 28/07/2022 22:04

A guest with wine and cheese who requires only pasta and butter? I would love to have your aunt for a few days. None of my relatives would settle for this.
It could be that she’s got really bad experience ( or even someone she knows) and she’s reluctant to eat out. My friend’s mum had food poisoning and then completely refused to eat somewhere unless she knew the host very well. My friend and I were laughing how strange it was ( we were 16 at that time) I don’t think it’s so strange now when I’m at her mum’s age.

JamSandwich89 · 28/07/2022 22:07

ickthe · 28/07/2022 21:42

Also, forgive me, I'm tired but I've read your OP three times and I can't find a single "ridiculous last minute request" of which you speak in your OP.

You say she won't eat meat or eggs if she doesn't know the source but you also say she hasn't requested anything other than pasta and butter. Could you be exaggerating/projecting/going along with a family narrative?

Breath. Ground yourself in the facts not the fiction and get on with your weekend.

I was thinking the same thing. Just give her pasta and butter, and breathe. It's only two days - not even! A day and a bit if her train is a 4pm on Sunday. I think you're building it up to be worse than it is.

Original poster
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:08

@Arenanewbie if I could enjoy the cheese and wine it would be fab haha. I just can't bear the thought of her eating pasta and butter and my husband and I eating a proper meal. Or her sitting there with peanuts if we are having a lunch out. It's all on me but I just love having people over and love entertaining. I could have catered for her if I'd have known before now.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:10

@JamSandwich89 yeah you're probably right. It's just thrown a spanner in the works and I'm not sure what we'll actually do with the time she's here. Clearly I eat too much 🤣

OP posts:
Dic · 28/07/2022 22:11

She won't eat eggs if she doesn't know where they came from?

Tell her from up a chicken's arse and cook her an omelette.

bellac11 · 28/07/2022 22:12

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:08

@Arenanewbie if I could enjoy the cheese and wine it would be fab haha. I just can't bear the thought of her eating pasta and butter and my husband and I eating a proper meal. Or her sitting there with peanuts if we are having a lunch out. It's all on me but I just love having people over and love entertaining. I could have catered for her if I'd have known before now.

Pasta and butter is a proper meal. Shes told you what she is quite happy with but you're the one who seems to be being unreasonable to be honest.

whoopsnomore · 28/07/2022 22:14

Apologies if someone has already said this, but Indian cuisine is one of the most vegan friendly possible! Go to the Indian and she can have okra, cauliflower, spinach potato peppers naan daal dishes with nary a suspect meat or cheese in sight!

Original poster
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:16

@whoopsnomore she won't eat out at all. Vegan or otherwise. Pasta and butter it is! X

OP posts:
Octomore · 28/07/2022 22:17

bellac11 · 28/07/2022 22:12

Pasta and butter is a proper meal. Shes told you what she is quite happy with but you're the one who seems to be being unreasonable to be honest.

Show quote history

Agreed. She's not being fussy, she just doesn't want to eat out.

You're the one making it into a drama. Just give her what she fancies FFS!

SunnyCoco · 28/07/2022 22:20

Yeh sorry OP I'm not seeing anything extreme or ridiculous...
All she said is she doesn't want to eat out, and she's happy with a bowl of pasta.
Relax and enjoy the weekend :)

LemonadeSunshine · 28/07/2022 22:20

I think I'd be unwrapping a higher welfare chicken, so you know it's ok, then on this occasion claiming it was from a local farmer who breeds, names the chickens, keeps logs on their lives before they (naturally) breathe their last ready for the oven.
I don't usually lie but on this occasion...

NeedToLeaveNow · 28/07/2022 22:25

Could you get away with ‘I think im having contractions, i better get checked out’
and 10 hours later, ‘Oh, they are Braxton hicks’
To late for you to come now?

Whataretheodds · 28/07/2022 22:25

If you want to go out for dinner on Friday night then do - if she wants to come with you then grand. If she doesn't then she can stay at home. Ditto Sunday lunch. You've the whole of the rest of the weekend to spend time with each other.

JuneJuly · 28/07/2022 22:26

Haven't RTFT, just the OP, but it doesn't sound like you want to compromise much either tbh OP, if that's the main criticism of your aunt.

MzHz · 28/07/2022 22:26

gamerchick · 28/07/2022 21:03

Just have your takeaway and make her pasta and butter. Or tell her to bring food with her that she's likes and is acceptable to her. Book your table and go out for your meal when you want. She's welcome to join you even if she doesn't want to eat.

Just carry on as you were planning. Make her pasta and butter if that’s what she wants and leave her to it if she doesn’t want to eat out.

Limecoconutice · 28/07/2022 22:28

She's never met my partner and thought I would give her the benefit of the doubt! Also it was booked back in March- you know when you don't really think it through when it's so long away?! Haha

I know this scenario all too well op! Have done it myself! And before you know it, it's time for them to come! Very easily done!

I think you will feel better if you have a few potential dishes planned in your mind:

Breakfast:
Toast, butter, marmalade or jam, eggs to offer

Coffee: cheat pkt of individual filters that fit over mugs

Lunches:

  • cheese, ham, grapes, salami, baguette, bag salad , olives etc = lunch one
- good quality supermarket soup, cheese, bread = lunch two

Kitchen suppers:

  • tomato sauce, pasta - pimp it up with a tin of ratatouille or a chop some peppers and cougettes and garlic in to it and simmer - add grated parmesan
  • poach some salmon gently in an inch of water in a frying pan with lemon slices, butter, and roast vine tomatoes or mini new pots or both, in the oven beforehand, bag of roquette and dressing or frozen peas/asparagus
  • shove chicken in oven to roast with jar (not a tin) of new pots around it plus lemon quarters and thyme, rub in olive oil and s& p, serve with bag of salad and pots

Extra meal in case needed:

  • ripe cherry tomatoes, 2 bags buffalo mozza, rocket, balsamic vinegar, cucumber, fry some bread chunks briefly in olive oil, arrange in a bowl with parmesan

Pudding:

  • buy some ice cream and berries for puddings and a good quality wafer or meringue

Tea:
Buy some good quality tea bags, make sure you have milk and sugar and some ginger nuts and digestives

Whatever you do, get some good wine in to her early on or a stiff g and t!

Whataretheodds · 28/07/2022 22:29

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:08

@Arenanewbie if I could enjoy the cheese and wine it would be fab haha. I just can't bear the thought of her eating pasta and butter and my husband and I eating a proper meal. Or her sitting there with peanuts if we are having a lunch out. It's all on me but I just love having people over and love entertaining. I could have catered for her if I'd have known before now.

You can't be both annoyed that she doesn't want to eat out and annoyed that she'll do her own thing.

Buy the pasta, butter, higher welfare chicken, and higher welfare eggs (both out of a chook's chuff like all eggs and chickens) and let her get on with it.

Arenanewbie · 28/07/2022 22:30

How about fresh pasta for her and for you and a salad? Waitrose got really nice filled pasta: one with beetroot and the other with crab meat. If she doesn’t like filled pasta she can have plain one but technically you all will eat the same: pasta.
Could you take her somewhere like a local farm or shop with a local products?

NoSquirrels · 28/07/2022 22:34

She’s just a vegetarian who doesn’t eat out. The eggs from the local trusted source will be OK, and if they’re not she won’t eat them.
Stop stressing. It’ll be fine.

Etinoxaurus · 28/07/2022 22:35

user143677433 · 28/07/2022 20:59

She’s essentially saying she doesn’t want to eat out. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

I think it is if you’re visiting an eight month pregnant host. She should at least be bringing/ cooking food if she’s so particular.

Hollywolly1 · 28/07/2022 22:35

Who invited her

Staffy1 · 28/07/2022 22:40

Perhaps she just doesn’t want to spend on eating out or takeaways and doesn’t want you buying for her either. She might be trying to be as little trouble as possible.

Original poster
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 22:40

@Limecoconutice thank you so much!!! Great ideas! 🙏🏻 xx

OP posts: