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Original poster

Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

283 replies

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:52

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant.

An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed.

So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go.

It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking).
I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised.

She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!!
Help!!

OP posts:
Sswhinesthebest · 28/07/2022 23:25

She is trying to make it easy on you with pasta and butter.

toastinateapot · 28/07/2022 23:25

Chouetted · 28/07/2022 22:51

And why isn't pasta and butter a proper meal? It sounds delish.

Erm, have you heard of protein?!

Anactor · 28/07/2022 23:26

“Take the meat etc. out of the wrappings and throw those out and put it in plain plastic. And just tell her you’ve sourced it all from local farms. Then exclaim at how expensive it is.”

Please don’t. You don’t know why she’s being so antsy on ‘I must know where the meat came from’. And she won’t know if the meat has anything added to it that she can’t eat.

If you did that to me because you thought I was being an annoying pain, you could make me ill. I can’t eat the additives in some supermarket meats.

Original poster
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 23:27

Thank you @Tiani4 I'm glad you can see my point 😂 it's not the fact I can't go two days without eating out- I just don't have time with my hospital appointment and work to source all these things. I had already been shopping. I had also planned our days out - one of which is a fair distance from home so now have to rethink that so we can potentially come home to eat or incorporate a picnic as some have helpfully suggested. Hopefully we can find some suitable things in Waitrose and a picnic will be ok :) sounds rather nice actually, just a bit more planning I wasn't expecting to do x

OP posts:
Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:28

The guest hasnt asked for all that, she said shes happy with pasta and butter and was bringing her own cheese and wine.

No wonder become so stressed in life if they insist on making life harder for themselves than it needs to be

If You actually read the post you'll see it was IN REPLY to as PP calling her a bad host

She arrives Friday and leaves on Sunday - Really weird to do 3 days of pasta and butter and the cheese she's brought. For every meal? Pasta and butter is not good for 3 days in a row every meal.. all whilst OP eats actual proper meals with protein/ or meat in it as she has to as she's heavily pregnant..,!

Original poster
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 23:32

@Anactor it's rather tempting but I wouldn't do it. Most of my meat I get from Waitrose - high welfare but she doesn't eat supermarket meat. I don't have a local free range butcher. So pasta and butter it is ! X

OP posts:
Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:33

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 23:27

Thank you @Tiani4 I'm glad you can see my point 😂 it's not the fact I can't go two days without eating out- I just don't have time with my hospital appointment and work to source all these things. I had already been shopping. I had also planned our days out - one of which is a fair distance from home so now have to rethink that so we can potentially come home to eat or incorporate a picnic as some have helpfully suggested. Hopefully we can find some suitable things in Waitrose and a picnic will be ok :) sounds rather nice actually, just a bit more planning I wasn't expecting to do x

It's good that you've got a plan you're happy with!

Really you can't be expected to cater for crazy restricted diet preferences - not at last minute so I hope that you can just buy something, no matter if she wants less and says she can't eat most of it, you buy enough for meals for you and baby bump.

I would also feel annoyed at her behaviour on this - you're not a specialist chef hotel with a farm next door. You're a heavily pregnant mum who is havinga bisit from an aunt who should know better than to make any demands on you at the last minute . You can't go shopping again before so your plan to take her via Waitrose ion way home sounds perfect. I hope she doesn't choose highly expensive items that she expects you to buy, as that would annoy me too!

bellac11 · 28/07/2022 23:34

Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:28

The guest hasnt asked for all that, she said shes happy with pasta and butter and was bringing her own cheese and wine.

No wonder become so stressed in life if they insist on making life harder for themselves than it needs to be

If You actually read the post you'll see it was IN REPLY to as PP calling her a bad host

She arrives Friday and leaves on Sunday - Really weird to do 3 days of pasta and butter and the cheese she's brought. For every meal? Pasta and butter is not good for 3 days in a row every meal.. all whilst OP eats actual proper meals with protein/ or meat in it as she has to as she's heavily pregnant..,!

Im afraid that we must be terrible hosts then, when friends come its normally cheese, biscuits, crisps, cake, prosecco, coffee, for 3 whole days. If people want to order a takeaway they can, if they dont want it thats also fine. We might also go out although OPs guest doesnt want to do that.

I love cooking but these days cant really be bothered

And if you paid attention you'll see that the eggs, meat, fish thing was being repeated throughout the thread as indicators of 'how dare the guest demand these difficult items when OP lives on an island'

But the guest hasnt asked for any of that.

HollowTalk · 28/07/2022 23:35

God she sounds like a bloody nightmare! Give her a basket in Waitrose and tell her to fill it with anything she's willing to eat, and I bet you she really treats herself.

Original poster
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 23:36

It's my worst nightmare to be a bad host. I go to a lot of effort and pride myself on looking after guests well. I really enjoy putting on a good spread and spoiling them. Or showing them my fav local restaurants. I would always put my guests first, I just need some notice when their needs/requirements are so strict and so different to how I know them to be.

OP posts:
Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:38

@bellac11

Do you really feed your guests pasta and butter for every meal for 3 days though? It's not really comparable when you say you order takeaways and guests eat out too. And your list is longer than OPs Aunts list!!

OP has said her Aunt says she will not eat takeaway nor eat out as she can't see it prepared nor know where food came from.

My original point still stands!!

CafeCremeMerci · 28/07/2022 23:39

AWobABobBob · 28/07/2022 21:45

@CafeCremeMerci is definitely your Aunty.

@AWobABobBob
Hilarious 🙄🙄🙄.

If either of my nieces were pregnant, there would be hell to pay!!! (They're only 10 &14) & there's no train station or Waitrose.

it's two days, she's happy with pasta& butter & she's bringing cheese & wine.

mountain molehill

Blinky21 · 28/07/2022 23:40

It's you that's being unreasonable, she wants a quiet weekend eating pasta, she sounds like an easy guest to me

drspouse · 28/07/2022 23:40

I now really want pasta with butter.

I also need to know what "picky bits" encompasses. What is not included?

bellac11 · 28/07/2022 23:42

Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:38

@bellac11

Do you really feed your guests pasta and butter for every meal for 3 days though? It's not really comparable when you say you order takeaways and guests eat out too. And your list is longer than OPs Aunts list!!

OP has said her Aunt says she will not eat takeaway nor eat out as she can't see it prepared nor know where food came from.

My original point still stands!!

I dont give them pasta and butter no, I didnt say I did

I said if thats what the aunt has said she wants and is happy with then whats teh issue

Im trying to avoid saying picky bits as this is what we actually get but I have now just said it. People can then pick what they want and leave what they dont want

bellac11 · 28/07/2022 23:43

drspouse · 28/07/2022 23:40

I now really want pasta with butter.

I also need to know what "picky bits" encompasses. What is not included?

Cheese and biscuits, sausage roll, coleslaw, other salads, toms, cue, meats, salmon or prawns, pork pie, perhaps some new pots or roast new potatoes, nuts, fruit, hummus.

But mainly cheese biscuits and wine.

Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:44

@mummysept22
It doesn't reflect on your good hosting if she declines your lovely arrangements and offers.

Sometimes some people are virtually impossible to please or it's unrealistic to cater to what they want! I wouldn't try more than that trip to Waitrose if I were you ! You've enough to do, don't let yourself get stressed by you Aunt if she behaves badly about this as you've your growing baby to think of.

No way would I visit a friend or relative that's 8 months pregnant and expect her to run around as a host, cook for me and ferry me around!!

Tiani4 · 28/07/2022 23:47

@bellac11
Just read what I wrote and read your reply ! Hmm

I'm not sure you're being helpful here at all...

Just to remind you it's a Friday to Sunday 4pm stay from aunt - not an overnight one meal quick visit!

WeneedtotalkaboutBrunobaby · 28/07/2022 23:47

gamerchick · 28/07/2022 21:03

Just have your takeaway and make her pasta and butter. Or tell her to bring food with her that she's likes and is acceptable to her. Book your table and go out for your meal when you want. She's welcome to join you even if she doesn't want to eat.

Meanwhile back in the real world where people are nice to one another.....

OP just get an organic chicken, nice breads, olives, cheese, snacks and chocolate and chill out at home for a couple of days. Watch Netflix or download some easy to watch films, go on little walks and ask her opinion on baby clothes and have some help doing some sorting/lifting around the house.

Forgiveitall · 28/07/2022 23:56

If I had a guest coming, I’d just cater to what they wanted and get the food in beforehand. You could ask her exactly what she wanted before doing an online shop. If she doesn’t like eating out, then just stay in. She doesn’t sound all that demanding - just maybe fairly inactive…if you’re knackered, not driving around and not staying up late could be good for you.

I know house guests can be stressful. There are so many threads on guests that I sometimes wonder if anyone enjoys having overnight guests.

ErrolTheDragon · 29/07/2022 00:07

This Aunt reminds me of The Patient's mother in the Screwtape letters. The bit I'm thinking of is quoted here

She is a positive terror to hostesses and servants. She is always turning from what has been offered her to say with a demure little sigh and a smile ‘Oh please, please … all I want is a cup of tea, weak but not too weak, and the teeniest weeniest bit of really crisp toast’. You see? Because what she wants is smaller and less costly than what has been set before her, she never recognises as gluttony her determination to get what she wants, however troublesome it may be to others.

https://intellectualtakeout.org/2015/12/c-s-lewis-on-the-deadly-sin-of-gluttony/

Threelittlelambs · 29/07/2022 00:08

If only you’d had an extra 24 hours notice, you could’ve brought an egg laying chicken , and caved up a pig - best with limited time to get baking your own bread and putting some jam. Come on woman! You can do this.

Formerpupil · 29/07/2022 00:22

not the point but out of interest, what island do you live on that has a Waitrose and a train line?

CandyLeBonBon · 29/07/2022 00:24

If you live rurally on an island, surely your eating out options will be a bit limited anyway?

SunscreenCentral · 29/07/2022 00:37

Oh for gods sake.

Pick up some "naice" pizza salad garlic bread, some decent soups, a cake, fresh pasta & some good cheese.

Sounds like you're expecting the Henry VIII's progression.

She's family, she wants to see you for the last time before you become a parent, and to meet your partner. She obviously cares for you.

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