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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guest coming to stay with ridiculous last minute requests.

283 replies

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:52

I am so miffed and I don't really know what I expect people to say, I just need to rant.

An auntie who I haven't seen for years is coming to stay this weekend. She's always been a bit of a pain in that it's very much all about her and she won't compromise on much. She's been single forever so I guess that's just what she is used to- which is fine, to a point! I often feel like she enjoys pushing people and getting a reaction. Then putting it on you if you get annoyed.

So although I'm looking forward to seeing her I have been a bit worried about how the weekend will go.

It's just got a lot worse. I asked what time her train was leaving Sunday so I could book a Table for lunch. After whinging that I was already thinking about her leaving she said she wouldn't eat lunch and eat dinner when she got home. I explained that as I am 8 months pregnant I would need to eat before her train at 4pm! She said not to book too much (this is the only thing I was booking).
I asked if she would like Indian on Friday night, she said she doesn't eat takeaways. I explained it was a restaurant. She then explained she doesn't eat out as she can't be sure of cleanliness and how they source their food. Then explained she only eats eggs, meat and fish if she knows how they were fed and raised.

She is arriving in less than 24 hours- what the hell am I supposed to do?! I live in a very rural area (on an island actually) so we are really limited with shops etc and I will need to go shopping in the nearest town. I have a scan in the morning and have to work all day afterwards. On top of this I am heavily pregnant and knackered, didn't plan on cooking much! She just keeps telling me she will bring cheese and wine 🙈 and she's happy with pasta and butter but it's not really how I spend my weekends- we are social and I enjoy going out to eat or cooking and sitting around a table talking the night away. I genuinely don't know what I am going to do with her for two days!!
Help!!

OP posts:
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:09

@Youdoyoutoday 🤣 I had covid a couple of weeks ago and honestly at the time I thought- why did I tell her I have it... this could have been a perfect excuse if things went sour. Clearly I knew this would happen 🙄

OP posts:
CafeCremeMerci · 28/07/2022 21:12

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 20:56

I should have added that her attitude towards food is absolutely fine and I completely understand and agree with her ethics - I just feel it's a bit last minute to spring such strict requirements on me with not much time to plan. Who doesn't love a good pub roast on a Sunday?!

Me. I do not love a pub lunch on a Sunday (or any day). I have too many dietary restrictions & still concerned sbout Covid, so would rather not eat out.

it's ONE weekend, she's bringing cheese & wine. She's happy, let her be. Just relax & try to enjoy her company for a couple of days.

Youdoyoutoday · 28/07/2022 21:14

People get covid more than once 😜

Earlymenopausesucks · 28/07/2022 21:14

If she’s bringing cheese and wine could you pick up nice crackers, fruit, Parma ham, hummus etc and spend Friday night sat chatting around the table?

God knows about Saturday- sorry.

Sunday could you do a light brunch at home then drop her for her train and go for a nice dinner with your DH?

QuestionableMouse · 28/07/2022 21:20

Decant the eggs into a basket and tell her you bought them locally. Even better of you can find an add for them. Wouldn't normally advocate lying but you've enough on your plate.

Agree with taking her to a shop - get some picnic tea bits that you both like.

Dashel · 28/07/2022 21:20

Doesn’t any of your local pubs or restaurants have a vegan option for her?

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:21

@thefirstmrsrochester Thats the plan. I just don't know what we'll do for two days at home to be honest. I had planned walks and trips out. But if we can't eat out it makes it difficult. I said I would take her to waitrose after picking her up from the train station- it's quite a way from where I live so don't be too jealous! Haha

OP posts:
mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:22

@Dashel she said she doesn't really eat out full stop because of cleanliness etc. hasn't mentioned a vegan option would be ok.

OP posts:
BettyOBarley · 28/07/2022 21:22

Could your other half not have Covid this time?! 😜

user143677433 · 28/07/2022 21:23

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:21

@thefirstmrsrochester Thats the plan. I just don't know what we'll do for two days at home to be honest. I had planned walks and trips out. But if we can't eat out it makes it difficult. I said I would take her to waitrose after picking her up from the train station- it's quite a way from where I live so don't be too jealous! Haha

Can’t you take a picnic?

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:23

@QuestionableMouse I can source really good eggs locally I just feel like she won't eat them unless she has seen the bloody chickens they came from 😳

OP posts:
Loginmystery · 28/07/2022 21:25

Did somebody…Did somebody just say picky bits?

orbitalcrisis · 28/07/2022 21:25

Take her shopping and ask her to get what she likes and keep saying over and over how grateful you are to have her coming to stay and look after you, you can't wait to put your feet up and be pampered!

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:26

@user143677433 yeah good shout!!! Thanks. Hopefully waitrose is acceptable and we can find some things in there!

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 28/07/2022 21:26

An island with a Waitrose? Anglesey? Isle of Wight? Plenty of free range eggs around.

make an omelette

crosstalk · 28/07/2022 21:27

I'm guessing Isle of Wight or Man or Anglesey. Take her to Waitrose and let her pick the four meals she'll be with you for.

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:28

@UrsulaPandress nope. waitrose is miles away - will be picking her up from the nearest train station tomorrow so can go on the way home.

OP posts:
Goldbar · 28/07/2022 21:29

I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill here, but then I hate cooking and would love any excuse not to. Just buy picnic food - nice bread, cheese, grapes, houmous, carrot sticks etc. - and let her pick at it. If you go out, make some plain cheese sandwiches to take with you and buy something more exciting for yourself while out. Maybe plan to stop at a tearoom type place or two? Hopefully her hostility to eating out won't extend a hot drink and you can snarf a jacket potato or nice sandwich on the grounds of being pregnant and ravenous!

BareGrylls · 28/07/2022 21:29

If you can't miss out on a couple of nights out for a guest you invited then having a baby is going to cramp your style a bit.
It doesn't seem like you want to do anything to make your aunt feel welcome and want to drag her along to nights out.
Surely you can go for a walk without having to eat out? You wouldn't go walking all day would you?

SoftSheen · 28/07/2022 21:31

Actually I think YABU. She does sound fussy but it's only for 2 days and she isn't asking for a lot- surely you can buy some pasta and butter, if you don't already have them in? Then just cook or order whatever you want for yourself. Ditto every other meal, I doubt she'll starve if you can offer a normal range of basic foods. For Sunday lunch, just book a table relatively early e.g. 12.30. You have your Sunday roast, she can order whatever she likes (or not- her choice).

mummysept22 · 28/07/2022 21:32

@BareGrylls it wasn't my intention to go out for every meal at all. I also said I enjoying cooking and sitting round a table or having a bbq. But I am now very limited in what I can make and she has sprung this on me last minute so I have little time to plan.

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 28/07/2022 21:34

@BareGrylls babies are totally portable and are unlikely to restrict the OP from eating out. Ok, you may need to order food which can be eaten with one hand!

nbrown2022x · 28/07/2022 21:35

Youdoyoutoday · 28/07/2022 21:04

OMG send her this

YES! Good idea 🤣🤣🤣🤣

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 28/07/2022 21:35

She's told you she'll eat butter and pasta, why do you nee to get her to choose that herself?

Just have a quiet weekend, I think you're getting stressed over nothing.

ickthe · 28/07/2022 21:36

Well, the way I see it there are two things here...

Going by your opening post you don't like her that much and see her as domineering in which case you have a real boundary issue in inviting her to be a guest when your baby is arriving in the next couple of weeks. Either that or you like being a victim of your family dynamics, not sure which. Whichever way you cut it if you dislike her as much as your OP suggests you really should have cut her off at the pass when the visit was mooted.

Try practising 'that doesn't work for me.'

Second thing, well, she's on her way. Could easily interpret all of the "I just need pasta/butter" as her not putting out a couple with a baby imminently on the way in the middle of the cost of living crisis. Maybe she can't afford indian takeaways/pub lunches and doesn't want you to carry that cost either?