Who was bu? Day out split up.

[Funinthesun75]

So we DH and I were on a day out at a Theme park with our ND 10 year old and NT 16 year old.
We were all together when ND child bolted as they wanted to go on a specific ride. We use this theme park lots so child knows it well. I run after child and returned to where we were with child and DH and older teen had gone. I had nothing with me as I didn't pick up my bag when I ran.
So as DH and older child were gone whrn we returned me and youngest were stranded with no phone or money to buy drink etc.
By the time we were finally reunited wuththe help of Park Staff I did complain that they should have stayed put. However it was apparently down to ADHD child for running off or my fault for not iistening where they were going next and not having my phone. I know there were general chit chat about rides they wanted to do but no definitive decision IMO.
So,who was bu?

Thank you @TrashPandas that was my thought too but so many seem to think we should have had a plan.
To me the plan us to return to the point you were last together. That is what I insisted child did.

It only obvious if you’re the type of person who thinks the way you think is the only right way to think otherwise the other person isn’t “functioning”. How horribly intolerant of you.

It’s common sense to have a plan in the event of being split up because different people always come up with different solutions, all of which are perfectly functioning.

I think that your dh cocked up here, @Funinthesun75. What sort of person thinks ‘My other half has chased off after our ND child, and I have her phone - I won’t bother waiting for her - I’ll just wander off and leave her stranded with no money, no phone - and no way of contacting me if she can’t find our child or if they have had an accident’!

Just for future proofing have you looked into the wrist restraints for you NT child going forward you attach it to your or DH so running away won't happen again

Don't know why all these posters are blaming you, best case scenario it would have minimal impact on dh and dd to just wait for 5 minutes for you both to return, worst case what if you hadn't found ds? Particularly once they'd realised they had all the phones! The fact neither of them bothered running after him themselves, or could even wait to check you'd found him, but just wandered merely off to enjoy themselves is disgusting in my view, and is completely disproportionate to you not bringing a sodding waterproof bag!

I totally agree with this.

It's worth having a plan discussed for next time, though. You shouldn't need to, because it should be obvious to DH to check whether you'd taken your phone (if he knew there'd been some back-and-forth with bags etc) and to stay put until you came back, but apparently that didn't enter his head, so next time you'll need to sit him down beforehand and discuss the plan.

Tbh, it sounds like DH told op where they were going to be before she ran off. Unfortunately op didn’t hear. It’s just one of those things that happens, with unfortunate consequences. Not nice at the time, but something not to give too much head space to now it’s been and gone.

Of course you need a plan! Especially with a ND child! Struggle to see why this hasn’t been done or even mentioned in 10 years 🤷‍♀️

The plan would surely be to stay put in those circumstances and I still maintain I wasn't given any definitive instructions.

Or maybe even thr fully functioning teen could have been sent as a go between.

Anyway done now.

Is that being said in a derisory manner to your other child?

In fact to either child?!

No of course not. Just a phrase. Think I need my bed. It.has been a long day.

Anywhere she wanted to tbh 👍

I'm sure it has but your eldest child being nt is not something you can take against them for or be harsh about them for. I think its quite sad all the posters calling them names along with your dh you've not defended them. DH yep was daft just going off, but the posters calling ds1 selfish and horrible is just quite sad

He was selfish and should have waited for you both to return to make sure you are ok as he knew he had all the stuff in the one bag.

Personally, we always have a plan for if we get split up. But then OH and I were brought up pre mobile phones, when you needed these things rather than relying on phoning people wherever they were.

However, I suspect the kind of people who wander off with all the mobile phones, without bothering to check that their ND child is ok, are also the kind of people who don't stick to the plan either.

YANBU
All these posters saying you should have a plan don't realise that at places like Alton towers you could be a half an hours walk away from different sections. Which is not great for arranging a meeting point and not great for children who are unreliable/ don't know their way around. The best thing would be to stay put, find a staff member or use your phone. It sounds like the OP only didn't have her phone on her person for a very brief amount of time.
YANBU OP, any concerned parent would have stayed put or followed, not continued about their day with all the supplies.

Ok and just hope you bump into the others at some point?

I don't understand why some of the replies here are so weird . It’s obvious that you stay put when you are holding someone else’s belongings! It’s common sense and courtesy.

definitely no time for conversation bar need to run after x

I'd have grabbed and dragged or ran and shouted back stay here to rest of party- but I have had years of dealing with awkward adults - IL- who do wonder off with children if explanations aren't clearly stated and even if they have been though if helped discouraged further events if everyone is mad at them for doing so.

All you can do really is try and make sure you aren't caught out again.

I'm sorry, but an adult who sees his ND child run off in a crowded theme park, watches his wife chase after the child in a panic with no time to arrange a plan or a meet-up point and is carrying her purse and phone, who decides "I won't wait around, I'll just sod off and do my own thing" is NOT "functioning" and is very much in the wrong.

I can't believe some of the posters on this thread. OP your DH and DS should 100% have waited to for you to get back to them, if only to make sure you had caught up to your DS and he was safe. My god what if you hadn't managed to catch up to him and then you couldn't find your ND DS or your DH and NT DS.

5 minutes stood in the same spot at a theme park not knowing where you was or how long you'd be..... I'd have gone on a ride aswell.

YANBU but next time take a small bag with you and a ziplock plastic bag inside with your phone in. Don’t leave it under any circumstance and tell your DH to do the same so you can contact each other. Arrange a meeting point if DS bolts. Sounds like there is a bigger issue annoying you which is that you are taking on lion share of care for your DS and DH not pulling weight?? Like would he ever have run after your child or is it always on you. Maybe worth chatting to DH about that.