To ask why you have the number of children you have?

[TheGeoffLinton]

I keep hearing that we’re having too few children to maintain the population. It seems to be a problem in a few countries in the West now. Often practical reasons are cited - having children later due to expensive childcare and not being able to get on the housing ladder means having fewer children. Sometimes they have a bit of a weird tone, like women and families aren’t doing their duty, does anyone else feel that?

You see suggested solutions like you could get a payment if you had more than 2 children? Would that be an incentive or would you find that weird?! Do you think subsidised childcare would be a better idea?

Personally I have no children, I’ve just never felt broody or maternal. I’d just be interested in what women actually think about this, not just the stats presented - if you have kids would you have more if you could afford it or would you always have stopped at 1 or 2?

I know this is the most journalist-sounding post but I really am just curious. I also appreciate there will be lots who can’t have any at all

4 - considered a 5th

I can’t say why really as it amazes me I had so many.

I wanted four but didn't meet DH until I was 29 and it took its time. First one out was v poorly so it took us years until we felt ready to try again. That egg got over excited and split in two so we now have three in total. We couldn't accommodate another one and at my age twins again would be a risk I couldn't take.

You're looking at the short term e.g. Next 100 years and just in a few countries. In the long term and on the planet as a whole, there are far too many people. We desperately need people to have a minimum amount of children. Nobody needs to be having more than two children - just replace yourselves. Less, if possible. Short-term pain regarding supporting an ageing population but ultimately huge long term gain as it makes it more likely our species will survive.

Because dh got cancer just after the birth of dd2 and so planned number 3 wasn't possible.
We would have had 3, we had planned 3, but it wasn't meant to be.

I have 0.
I want 1 😞

Have 4 ,all unplanned despite using two methods of contraception. Find pregnancy easy and also birth but my body has been damaged long term more and more after each one. My husband has had a vasectomy so that's why we had no more

I married as a teenager, and gave birth to three daughters during the ten years that the marriage lasted. The first two were planned, the third one just popped up exactly a year after giving birth to her sister. After that marriage ended, l met someone else, he had one Adult son of his own, but rarely ever had any contact with him, as he favoured his mothers side of the family, plus his Dad worked away from home a lot, often overseas.
After a few months, new partner surprised me that Christmas with a proposal of Marriage, and a lovely engagement ring to go with it. He had already booked us in to spend Christmas as a family in a log cabin in North Wales, and did the proper proposal under the Christmas tree as the snow was falling up in the mountains of Snowdonia, with 3 exited Children looking on!

we married the following year, followed by two more daughters, so l never did get a Son of my own. However, I’m now lucky enough to have several Grandsons, the youngest of which is now just 5 weeks old!
I am still married to my second Husband over 30 years later, he is now retired, and spends quite a bit of his time with our Grandchildren, all of whom live quite nearby within the same City.

3 boys... no energy left to try again for a girl!

Zero. Never wanted them. It's beyond me that some women have so many. And generally do nothing but complain about them.

Have 2. Would have loved 3 but didn't try again as

• both over 40 by time dc2 was a toddler
• I was worn out by 2 little ones, no family help, and couldn't afford to wait a while due to age
• higher risk pregnancy with both dc and feared complications again
• dp would have taken a lot of persuading.
• environmentally I know it would be bad

Still feel sad at times though

I have 3, in part because my mother had said "2 is enough" and I wanted to defy her and all the other close family who thought 2 was the perfect number

Another reason was dc1 & dc2 both girls were very close in age and I was wary of a lifelong comparison between them - I wanted to f"'k up the dynamic.

Then there was the longing for a boy. . All my family were having girls, myself included. I wanted to take the risk.

Then there was Prozac. After DC 2 I had PND and was put on Fluoxetine. 2 yrs later, I like my husband again ....

I would love 5, I'm 33 so technically there is time to have more but we have two and don't plan on anymore.
Main reason is money, we earn £60k between us which I always imagined was a lot but doesn't seem to go very far in real life.
we usually have one holiday abroad a year and maybe a caravan/air bnb stay as well. Have takeaway once a week, go to the cinema and other activities regularly but there's not really anything spare at the end of the month so if we had more children we would have to cut down on things and I feel like we would be doing our existing children a disservice by doing that. I want them to be able to go on school trips or to the theatre without it having to worry that we can't afford it.

I have none.

I’ve known since I was about 5 that I never wanted to have biological children. That has never once changed, even for a moment. I never found a partner anyway but even if I had there is no amount of money that would have made me change my mind.

I always wanted two, a boy and a girl. A nuclear family I suppose.
I got my wish in one go.

I have zero because even IVF didn’t work. I wanted 2.

I have 3. Had DS then fell pregnant again with twins when he was 10 months and had 2 more DS.

Pregnant with no3 and I want 4

I have 1 with 1 on the way. We will stop at two, but for me and my husband it's for mental health reasons. We've got a supportive family but they don't live near us, so it's entirely on us 24/7 to care for our children. And we don't think we'd be able to handle more than 2 but who knows once the little one is here.

I'm fortunate to live in a European country where childcare is subsided by the state - full time nursery only costs parents 160 euros a month, you get 14 months maternity/paternity between two parents and 12 months for one. Job security if you want to take up to 3 years off.
So financial and working conditions would allow us more children and if we had family nearby, I would consider a 3rd. But seeing as that's not the case, we will be happy stopping with two.

We have five, all adults. We put it down to a complete lack of self control on both our parts. That and the time I got pregnant when I was on the Pill.

I have none. Would have liked two - grew up with one sibling and always felt it was enough. When it became clear it wasn’t going to happen easily I would have been happy with one. It never did happen, but I am ok with it now. Life is good.

I've got 2, which is exactly as many as I wanted to have. I'm not a breeding machine, I don't raise a family for the sake of some societal duty. The planet is overpopulated anyway.

1, i've been lucky that she's been an easy baby and a great kid (now 5) honestly don't think i'd get another as easy as her, plus i'd like another girl which obviously i can't guarantee so not going to chance it.
Plus with 1 we have a great life, can do great holidays 2-3 times a year, can send her to various clubs/go on days out etc.

I have one and I am 95% sure I am done.
Pregnancy was horrific for me with sickness, to the point that I felt I would be better off dead than throwing up 15 times a day for 5 months. Obviously my DD was worth it but I am scared to do it again so I probably won't.
Plus one child means we can still live the life we want and afford to do things we like.

I’ve got one. Trying to get pregnant again. I would like 3. Husband only wants 2 maximum. We’ll see what happens, getting pregnant is a gift and privilege so if nothing happens I’ll be sad but I’m still overjoyed to have my daughter.

Parenthood wasn’t for me, I don’t want to visit my mental health issues on someone else or bring into the world a child that wasn’t really wanted, and I’m 43 now anyway so that ship has sailed.