To ask why you have the number of children you have?

[TheGeoffLinton]

I keep hearing that we’re having too few children to maintain the population. It seems to be a problem in a few countries in the West now. Often practical reasons are cited - having children later due to expensive childcare and not being able to get on the housing ladder means having fewer children. Sometimes they have a bit of a weird tone, like women and families aren’t doing their duty, does anyone else feel that?

You see suggested solutions like you could get a payment if you had more than 2 children? Would that be an incentive or would you find that weird?! Do you think subsidised childcare would be a better idea?

Personally I have no children, I’ve just never felt broody or maternal. I’d just be interested in what women actually think about this, not just the stats presented - if you have kids would you have more if you could afford it or would you always have stopped at 1 or 2?

I know this is the most journalist-sounding post but I really am just curious. I also appreciate there will be lots who can’t have any at all

I have one of each.
I always thought I wanted three but I'm done at two.
I feel like I've been lucky and don't think I could risk a third, mainly from knowing lots of people with poorly children since I had mine.
Also I don't think my body would cope well with another.

I have one and lost 2 prior. Never got pregnant since I had my child.
Always wanted a few children, 2 or 3 but now I love that I only have one. Life is hard and expensive enough now and would put me off having more even if I could.

IVF has never worked for us, we are part of the way through cycle 3 and lm not confident. This is the last cycle thank god. I can’t help but think how much thinner, happier and advanced in my career l would be, if we hadn’t gone down this road. At least people who get pregnant have something to show for it, whereas as l never ever had

Increasingly lm at peace with it never happening and looking forward to more freedom, rather than wasting money, annual leave, mental head space etc. Unfortunately partner is a bit younger than me and his friends are still busting out kids. So lots of reminders, whereas all of my friends are all done

We probably would have stuck 1. More IVF wouldn’t have been financially possible. Plus l like my time and space, we both like our hobbies and interests. l already feel like my career has been treading water through most of this

I have three, born in the mid-90s. We could afford it on one salary back then and that's how many we wanted. I'd have ideally loved to have had another, but I knew I'd hit my limit at three.

We planned on 2. I was quite keen for more but dh really wanted to stop at 2 and so we agreed. We had dd1 (now 22) and ds (now 20).

I had the mirena as it was most reliable and more effective than me being sterilised, and there was a long wait for vasectomy.

I started to feel weird, had a couple of bleeds but everyone just put it down to the coil settling in. I asked for a #can but was put off, don't really remember why now, and eventually felt that I had to force things and did a pregnancy test, which was positive (of course)! Dd2 was born when dd1 was almost 4 and ds was 22 months.

It wasn't our plan but she is the light of our lives. She's 18 now and in her second year of training to be a beauty therapist. She has a lovely boyfriend, some great friends and is running her own business selling pre-decorated press on nails on the side from her 2 day a week job in a spa. She's our wee star and I'm delighted she's planning on staying at home another year as I'm really going to miss her when she's gone.

I have 2, would've liked more years ago but suffered terrible post natal anxiety after dc2s birth, could never have gone through that again. plus my house is too small. I'm in my mid 40s now and kinda glad I stopped at 2 my youngest is 10 feel I've had enough of doing little kiddie things and being around kids and crave adult company now. I'm not even bothered about ever having grand children. I think the world is massively overpopulated and we should be encouraged to have less children not more.

Two. Rushed decision to have second child because of my age. In hindsight I'd have preferred one child. Two kids don't get on that well together and financially find the cost of two children and being a family of four is too expensive for us to live comfortably.

2 because I wanted more than one and wanted my eldest to have a sibling but any more than that seems overwhelming.

My son was a surprise pregnancy. Gave birth aged 44. Didn’t think we’d have any kids... Delighted now, of course.

They just kept coming!

#jehovahjireh

We already felt outnumbered with 2.

And the population does not need to increase. We simply need to pay the going rate for taxes and pensions in the Western world.

We have 2 and we won't be having anymore.
The cost of childcare is ridiculous and a big factor but we would also have to move house, buy a new car, holidays become more difficult etc.
No 3rd child payment would match the costs involved and with 2 we can still afford to do things as a family.

I have two. I was 36 when I had the first and 38 when I had the second. My husband is 10 years older than I am.

Ideally I'd have liked three but my husband didn't, and I agreed that the sensible decision was to stop at two.

If we'd been younger, and the only consideration had been financial, an incentive might have made a difference, especially as in those days paid maternity leave was less generous and there was no free childcare.

I had two children. DH died before the second baby’s first birthday, so there was no possibility of any more.

I have 3, huge gap between 1 and 2 (18 years) , would probably have had more if I could afford a bigger house tbh.

Two children is more than enough for us. I don’t have the energy or finances for a third.

I gave up work as my eldest had special needs. Decided to have a big family - and I love it. Noisy, yes and messy, but great fun and they are all doing well at school and are all very different personalities.

I like the dynamics of a big family as there's always something going on and someone to talk to. My upbringing was too quiet and I spent a lot of time on my own, so I wanted to avoid that.

Ended up with twice as many as I ever intended due to husband having a dd already then having a multiple birth after my singleton. I love them all but I could do with an incentive payment backdated as it is expensive!! And maybe if they threw in free counselling. And a nanny. Or a referee.

2x with First DH.Then we Divorced.

2x With DH...( He had no children, I was still young (29) when we met.
We are Planning maybe just 1 more..

Had 2. Wanted 3. I had two under 2 and that put me off 🤣🤣 Still wish I had 3 sometimes.

One. Would have liked 2 and nearly had 2 miscarried the 2nd. Circumstances now - on my own, overweight, over 40, skint, mean I'm pretty sure that I'm one and done.

I'm mostly reconciled to that fact now. I adore DD but have found parenting hard and not sure I could go back now to nappies, sleepless nights etc. Although I do get an occasional pang, and I do feel guilty as I know DD would love a sibling.

To add both dds can't stand each other most of the time. I'm hoping it's their ages 🙁

No bashing please. Had my 1st with my childhood sweetheart and things turned sour and he went back to his native country. On the back of this i rebounded dreadfully and got caught up in an abusive marriage that ended and i had had 2 more children. I struggled as a single mum with 3 kids but got on with life. Then met the love of my life and had 2 girls in my 40s. What a difference it is. 5 kids. I believe i did ok. 1 has a masters. 1 is high ranking in the British Army and 1 is working in a great field. All 3 are independent. My 2 girls are 5 and 7 now and the joy of everyone.

Infertile. Been pregnant ten times but none of them survived.

I wanted 2 (replacement level only due to overpopulation). Guess I’m doing my part to depopulate now instead!