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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be suspicious my DH trims his pubes?

174 replies

Krazylady · 26/07/2022 15:27

Discovered (by way of seeing lots of short pube hair in the loo) that my DH has trimmed his pubes ahead of a 3 days away in London for work.

Back story: married for 20 years, DH has had a history of using sex workers, HOWEVER he has been trying really hard to rebuild my trust and save our marriage over the last year. We have not been having sex mainly bc of my trust issues but have been getting on really well, sleeping in same bed, cuddling, having fun and I thought we were heading in the right direction...

Then I find the pubes in the loo. Why would he be trimming down there if we are not having a sexual relationship ourselves? Am I overthinking this?

OP posts:
Hotenoughtoburnasausage · 26/07/2022 15:28

In his eyes it's fine to cheat them grovel.
It's worked for him before.
Why not now?
Imo.

Astrak · 26/07/2022 15:30

Probably not, imo. Do you feel able to challenge him on it?

Suprima · 26/07/2022 15:31

your husband is a punter

a few trimmed pubes is the least of your problems

i doubt he ever stopped. you showed him that you’d put up with it when you stayed.

Original poster
Krazylady · 26/07/2022 15:32

I'm just wondering what reasons are out there for a man to shave his pubes?
I'm not aware that he has done it before.

OP posts:
AhNowTed · 26/07/2022 15:33

You know the reason OP.

c3pu · 26/07/2022 15:34

Ancient proverb: Man who tidies house, expects visitor.

MumTrain · 26/07/2022 15:34

The simplest explanation is usually correct

BlanketsBanned · 26/07/2022 15:35

Crabs

jessieminto · 26/07/2022 15:36

It's just the same is you, if you suddenly start taking more care of your trim down there, is it because you're hoping/expecting someone to be seeing it?

Aquamarine1029 · 26/07/2022 15:36

Good grief, op. You know exactly what he plans to get up to. He's a serial cheater and a punter. Men like him never change.

Sharrowgirl · 26/07/2022 15:37

This is what happens when you forgive a cheater. You’re forever suspicious.

Cheminaufaules · 26/07/2022 15:41

Working hard to win your trust. Visiting prostitutes. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Once a punter, always a punter. Just depends how long they can abstain.
How likely is it he would know that you know? e.g. other than finding the pubes, would you see him walking around naked?
Tell him randomly that there's a much greater risk of picking up genital warts if you're shaved (this is true actually) and watch his reaction.

MalbecandToast · 26/07/2022 15:42

Sorry OP but I think you know what it means. Once a scumbag always a scumbag.

comealongponds · 26/07/2022 15:42

You know why he’s doing it. You’ve facilitated him doing it previously since you’re still with him, so he knows he can get away with it.

just leave him, he’s not worth keeping

shootfromthehip145 · 26/07/2022 15:45

Hot weather itchy ball bag or preening for some pussy 😂

Just asked my other half he just laughed and said my be on the pull.

Claricethecat45 · 26/07/2022 15:57

Easier for condoms...so I gather, and it can make it look a bit more than it is. Sorry

womaninatightspot · 26/07/2022 16:06

I tend to trim mine if I’m going to a hotel with a pool/ gym to save looking unkempt in the changing room. Possibly a bit naive considering his history.

Therealpink · 26/07/2022 16:08

You know what this is OP. I’m sorry.

EverythingHeadinSouth · 26/07/2022 16:09

You don't have trust issues, you have a wholly untrustworthy husband. Why are you trying so hard to work at a relationship with a man who thinks women's bodies are just commodities that can be bought or rented?

GrandRapids · 26/07/2022 16:11

Well, my husband trims his pubes if he thinks sex is on the cards rather than it being some kind of grooming ritual.

Based on your husbands previous form, it doesn't look good does it?

Although he hasn't hidden it very well if they were clearly visible in the loo!

Happyplace88 · 26/07/2022 16:12

If he doesn’t do it regularly then given his history and impeding trip away, it’s very suspicious.
I shave my legs a couple of times a week as part of my usual grooming routine, so wouldn’t be suspicious for me to do this IYSWIM. The fact he doesn’t usually but has suddenly decided to have a trim is ringing alarm bells for me.

CallOnMe · 26/07/2022 16:13

There is no other reason to do this (unless he often trims it) other than to cheat or to hope to cheat.

Are you 100% they were pube trimmings and nothing else?
I think it’s odd he’s done them in the toilet!

Luredbyapomegranate · 26/07/2022 16:16

well it means he’s planning to have sex

it’s more common to garden than it used to be, so that’s why he might not have done it before

As a PP says, usually the simple explanations are correct. I am sorry OP

So I guess before you confront him about this you need to think about where you go from here. What do you want at this point?

ChickinMarango · 26/07/2022 16:16

c3pu · 26/07/2022 15:34

Ancient proverb: Man who tidies house, expects visitor.

Omg this made me laugh!

bloodyplanes · 26/07/2022 16:18

He's definitely planning on getting up to something! My ex used to trim his when he was cheating.