to be suspicious my DH trims his pubes?

[Krazylady]

Discovered (by way of seeing lots of short pube hair in the loo) that my DH has trimmed his pubes ahead of a 3 days away in London for work.

Back story: married for 20 years, DH has had a history of using sex workers, HOWEVER he has been trying really hard to rebuild my trust and save our marriage over the last year. We have not been having sex mainly bc of my trust issues but have been getting on really well, sleeping in same bed, cuddling, having fun and I thought we were heading in the right direction...

Then I find the pubes in the loo. Why would he be trimming down there if we are not having a sexual relationship ourselves? Am I overthinking this?

“Using sex workers” 😮

He’s a despicable character with no respect for women. He’s obviously planning on banging someone during this trip, maybe a vulnerable paid woman, maybe not. Find your anger and get rid, either way. If you’re married, see a solicitor.

My husband trims his pubes. I thought all blokes did it tbh.

Sadly I don't think you are overthinking this.

Oh god, OP, I bet your heart sank.

I have to agree that this signals an affair. I don’t know much about the etiquette with sex workers so I assume such attention to detail would be an affair, someone he hopes to impress.

How are you?

He’s an ex for a reason 🤣

The only only suggestion is... the only reason you noticed he does shave is because you went to the loo. BUT perhaps shaving is a regular thing? Tbh OP it's all not normal that something so basic you have no knowledge of because you are not sexully active. How old are you both?

I trim mine, but don't use prostitutes. The former doesn't make me bad but doing the latter would.

^ I would agree with this. I could never trust him again if he had used sex workers/ had affair etc. The trust would be gone.

He's planning to cheat, you know this. Kick him to the kerb.

When he comes home, tell him you know he cheated on you and don't let it go. He will eventually come clean. It might take three weeks but if you insist you know, he will tell eventually.

And never tell him how you know. As harsh as it sounds, Thelma and Louise were right. You get what you settle for.

Well mine trims his because it’s cooler, 12 hours a day in protective clothing makes him sweaty down there.
But he doesn’t have a history of cheating unlike yours.

His new fancy piece prefers it. She's probably not a sex worker though, I doubt he'd put that much effort into personal grooming for someone he pays for it.

Me too. Maybe they just got a bit unruly. It happens.

Brilliant. And accurate in this case.

I’m not sure how trust can be rebuilt with a punter.

I guess he got bored of not having sex.

I’m sorry to be blunt but I think you’re wasting your life on someone who’s not worthy of your time. Just leave him to his prostitutes.

I’m not trying to judge here but I could maybe forgive it if it was a one time thing and with one person who is NOT a sex worker. But knowing it was a sex worker forget it. The chances of STDs and STIs just eh… He might as well have stuck it in the sewer at that point. Don’t sleep with him.

Oh dear, so sorry op 😞

This. Why have you been gaslit into thinking you have issues. He is abhorrent - I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole 🤮sorry OP to be so forceful and a very unmumsnet hug but I really wouldn’t.

My middle aged exH started doing this. Turns out he was going to swinger’s clubs with the OW

I don’t know the answer to your question but when someone is shaving their pubic hair and the other person is then questioning if the other is going to cheat do you think that’s a healthy relationship to be in?

its really not is it. Is he really worth this?

I think you know the answer, OP. Men groom when they are planning sex and he is having a trip away. I hope you’re ok.

Why haven't you asked him about it?

Yes, he is a cheating dog, but if he can't get sex from you he will get it elsewhere. You need to understand that. So let him go if you can't give him what he needs.

You may not have been having sex for a year but I guarantee he has. He's just been sneakier about it.

Him trimming when he normally doesn't do it means he's going to be shagging while away.

The question is are you going to continue to put up with it?

People shave or tidy or up their pubes usually for the purpose of sex. Their genitals are going to be seen and judged by someone else.

People groom their pubes just for themselves too.

The difference here is that your DH has a history of using sex workers and doesn't usually groom himself like this. You know the answer, you know what he's doing.