to be suspicious my DH trims his pubes?

[Krazylady]

Discovered (by way of seeing lots of short pube hair in the loo) that my DH has trimmed his pubes ahead of a 3 days away in London for work.

Back story: married for 20 years, DH has had a history of using sex workers, HOWEVER he has been trying really hard to rebuild my trust and save our marriage over the last year. We have not been having sex mainly bc of my trust issues but have been getting on really well, sleeping in same bed, cuddling, having fun and I thought we were heading in the right direction...

Then I find the pubes in the loo. Why would he be trimming down there if we are not having a sexual relationship ourselves? Am I overthinking this?

This.

Punters don't change.

Does he have a beard OP? My husband trims his beard and always throws the trimmings away in the toilet.

If not then I’m sorry I’d also been suspicious, you have been more forgiving than most and you most certainly don’t deserve to be treated so poorly if he is indeed still seeing sex workers.

Yes, he is trimming to impress a sex worker.
I couldn't sleep in the same bed as a man with a history of buying sex.

👆

You know exactly why he’s trimming his pubes: he’s used sex workers in the past, and has been forgiven - by you - for using them.

Ergo: he’s going to use them again, and fully expects to be forgiven - by you - again.

Could you put a spanner in the works and suggest you both go to the GUM clinic TOGETHER and test ASAP.

Some harsh comments. But it's no way to live OP.

Jesus. This is someone's real life relationship. Bit blunt don't you think?

If he didn’t have a history of using sex workers then I wouldn’t be suspicious. But given his past then I’d be suspicious.

Hmnn.

You know him, and whether it's suspicious or not. You've been together long enough to know his attitudes towards grooming. IF he'd only groom if he was hoping for sex, then there are two possibilities:

1. he's planning on using sex workers again when away
2. the precise timing is coincidence, but if you think your were moving towards resuming sex, then maybe he thought that too, and was grooming in anticipation/hope.

Obviously some men preen because they want to, or because they are bored, or because their pubes are irritating them, or its too hot, just the same as women. I started preening before I became sexually active. So I wouldn't presume on the basis of preening that he's planning on cheating, but as I said, you know him, not me

A man who had previously used prostitutes is not going to be suddenly fine in a sexless marriage.

OP - you certain it's DH? Not children?

What's the phrase? Better to ask forgiveness than permission?

My ex used to trim his pubes when he had a haircut. Bit of a housekeeping thing.

But he didn’t sleep with prostitutes.

"If You Always Do What You’ve Always Done, You’ll Always Get What You’ve Always Got.”

It's your response to his cheating that needs to change OP, because he's not going to stop being a disgusting punter.

Why not ask him?

Say you saw pubes in the loo and ask why he was trimming.

Or catch him in the shower and comment on his new 'personal grooming'.

I wouldn't trust him at all ever but the pubes don't necessarily mean anything unless he never trims them usually.
I trim mine and I'm single with no intention of having sex with anyone.
Would he be that obvious. Only you know.

To everyone saying it’s odd for men to trim, why? My DH regularly trims as do I, just as part of a general grooming routine.

however in this context if he doesn’t normally do it, then it is odd and I agree with other posters unfortunately

Men husk the corn for one reason.

Oh my word, chuckling away here, that's so funny.

They shave their pubes to make their cock look bigger. Also possibly for grooming. You know he is trifling maybe with sex workers (although unless it's a dominatrix i don't see why he would) maybe he is having an affair.

I tidy the house even if not expecting visitors, I just like a tidy house. Dh also likes his own house to be tidy.

Just brilliant 🤣

I'd get tested. I'd be so far down the assumption he's never stopped. Sorry op. Be great if I'm wrong of course.

I would tell him you saw the pubes in the loo and ask him about it.

It seems to me that he’s really trying to manipulate you into thinking he’s changed so that he can have his fun without having to face the truth with you.

You say he has a history of using sex workers, do you mean before or during your relationship.
You sure he's not shaved his pits?

This has killed me 😂
OP my boyfriend trims his cos we are still a fairly new relationship and I like an em... bare ballbag. He doesn't trim or shave there when we won't be seeing each other, only when we are. It is definitely a sex thing.