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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to shove this paper plate up the Vinted seller’s arse?

250 replies

VintedShminted · 25/07/2022 20:22

Ordered some Nike Air Jordan’s for my DD’s birthday from Vinted.

The package arrived today, except what I actually received was a folded up paper plate in a tiny mailing bag.

Please reassure me that I haven’t lost all my money because I can’t afford to get her anything else. Have just reported to Vinted. I know on eBay it’s easy enough for sellers to scam people by sending an empty box or whatever so I’m hoping this isn’t the same.

AIBU to shove this paper plate up the Vinted seller’s arse?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Verybritishproblems101 · 26/07/2022 12:53

Sorry this happened to you. Did the seller have any reviews?

Mollyplop999 · 26/07/2022 13:22

VintedShminted vinted have responded and asked me to give them 48 hrs.

Original poster
VintedShminted · 26/07/2022 13:25

Sorry out and about at the moment, but how is me disclosing that my dd is autistic affecting her privacy - on an anonymous forum where no one knows who I am, and therefore who she is either? Honestly do people actually switch their brain on before posting sometimes?

OP posts:
Trinity65 · 26/07/2022 13:39

Some People are just Wicked

YANBU at all OP

Mammajay · 26/07/2022 13:41

Also, haven't read the ft, but debit cards have some financial protection

Mammajay · 26/07/2022 13:43

Sorry read some more and you have contacted your bank

WinterDeWinter · 26/07/2022 16:34

ThePumpkinPatch · 26/07/2022 12:01

What does being Autistic have to do with anything? Surely It would be disappointing for an NT or other ND child as well. 🙄

This! 🙄 As a Mum of a child with ASD, I'm so so sick of people using their kid's Neurodiversity as an added sympathy plea. If it's not relevant to the issue at hand - don't mention it! Have some respect for your child's privacy!

I think it's absolutely relevant. All children would be disappointed, but many ND children would find it even harder to come to terms with.

Flamingmentalcats · 26/07/2022 19:31

When I read your post I thought oh no I have bought my husband a watch. Gone to collect it and I have received a large what looks like a sports bottle lid and a small metal nozzle thing.
I have messaged seller saying strange looking watch and started proceedings. I have bought lots and sold a fair bit. Am cross as it was a present for my husband's birthday and I am trying to spoil him more than usual this year as it's his first without his mum.
I should have done what I always do and not bought from someone with no reviews

Bigchezemakeme · 26/07/2022 20:56

LSD is not cheap, what would be the point exactly, its not as if the sender would see you mysteriously trip your tits off...

you might laugh about it but I held one of the plates too long. Me and colin the green eared sloth (who’s moved in) don’t find it so amusing

Original poster
VintedShminted · 26/07/2022 20:56

Ok for the people who are hard of understanding, this is why it may be especially difficult for a ND kid to experience this.

Firstly, they get super obsessive about things. So literally a whole week of thinking about the trainers, talking about the trainers, asking about tracking the trainers. And then the trainers didn’t come and we got ripped off. Which brings us to our next issue: unexpected events. ASD kids do generally not cope well at all with these, mine included.

Also, my DD finds it hard to fit in because of her ASD. Whilst my other ASD older child (now adult) has always embraced her quirky fashion sense and despite being socially anxious to the extreme, has never tried to fit in with everyone else, my youngest is desperate to fit in. So all her clothes have to be the same as everyone else is wearing, this helps her to feel and to be accepted. This cannot be deviated from AT ALL. So it’s a major bummer for her to now not have the trainers that her friends have.

HTH.

OP posts:
Original poster
VintedShminted · 26/07/2022 20:58

And to be clear this would be a shit thing to happen to anyone, I’m not saying anyone NT would have enjoyed this experience.

OP posts:
Original poster
VintedShminted · 26/07/2022 21:01

Blimey @Flamingmentalcats this is rife at the moment! They must have run out of paper plates and are sending any old shite they find around the house. Hope you manage to get a resolution.

I’ve still had no response from Vinted other than the generic robot message saying give us 48 hours. I’m almost hoping that the Daily Fail pick up on this as it might give Vinted a kick up the arse!

OP posts:
Flamingmentalcats · 26/07/2022 21:16

Vintedshimited I haven't had a robot message I wonder if I have done it right? I have uploaded pictures as asked and told seller I want a refund and vinted have suspended the transaction until we sort it out, better to have another look.....

Original poster
VintedShminted · 26/07/2022 21:18

@Flamingmentalcats I got the robot message shortly after I clicked something’s not right button and uploaded the photo and described what happened.

AIBU to shove this paper plate up the Vinted seller’s arse?
AIBU to shove this paper plate up the Vinted seller’s arse?
OP posts:
Stomacharmeleon · 26/07/2022 21:33

@VintedShminted I totally get the obsession. My sons stealth like stalk the postman/ van drivers... woe betide if things don't arrive exactly when they are supposed to. And who's fault is it? Generally mine....

Flamingmentalcats · 26/07/2022 21:39

Thanks for that. I have just gone back on and found that you have to press the contact us button so I have and got a message back about sending pictures within 48 hours which I have just done. I haven't got the same message as you though. Let's hope we both get our refunds

Hotelhelp · 26/07/2022 22:11

I get sending something for the weight of the parcel but WHYYYY a plate. So random. Suppose they must just have happened to have them laying around.

gymsone · 26/07/2022 23:03

VintedShminted · 26/07/2022 20:56

Ok for the people who are hard of understanding, this is why it may be especially difficult for a ND kid to experience this.

Firstly, they get super obsessive about things. So literally a whole week of thinking about the trainers, talking about the trainers, asking about tracking the trainers. And then the trainers didn’t come and we got ripped off. Which brings us to our next issue: unexpected events. ASD kids do generally not cope well at all with these, mine included.

Also, my DD finds it hard to fit in because of her ASD. Whilst my other ASD older child (now adult) has always embraced her quirky fashion sense and despite being socially anxious to the extreme, has never tried to fit in with everyone else, my youngest is desperate to fit in. So all her clothes have to be the same as everyone else is wearing, this helps her to feel and to be accepted. This cannot be deviated from AT ALL. So it’s a major bummer for her to now not have the trainers that her friends have.

HTH.

Thanks for the explanation but posters you're addressing are ND or have children who are, so probably unnecessary...

Gonnabegrandma · 26/07/2022 23:18

Keep the packaging does it state the weight anywhere on the label ? Or look at postage costs as they are normally by weight . All this will help prove the shoes weren’t sent . Also get in touch with your bank

WinterDeWinter · 26/07/2022 23:20

gymsone · 26/07/2022 23:03

Thanks for the explanation but posters you're addressing are ND or have children who are, so probably unnecessary...

Show quote history

Perhaps they too are extrapolating from their own experience, and assuming that all ND children are like them/theirs. Perhaps they too should be more understanding of others' difficulties. It's perfectly possible for ND people to be mean-spirited.

I recognise the OP's experience and I'm sure a lot of other parents will too. It is harder for many ND children to cope with broken promises/expectations. Things can feel very unstable and frightening when their worldview (that promises will be kept, people will stick to the rules) is shattered like this. That's on top of the 'normal' disappointment of not having the thing that they were really looking forward to having, (and which, as the OP describes, feels vital to their feeling of fitting in/ not sticking out as ND)

Original poster
VintedShminted · 27/07/2022 00:50

Thanks @WinterDeWinter . I’m baffled as to why a bunch of ND/parents of ND kids are trying to argue the toss that life is no more challenging with ASD. Because that certainly isn’t my lived experience of raising two children who are autistic. I really wish life wasn’t as hard for them and I wouldn’t have had to deal with anywhere near as many tears, meltdowns, friendship (or lack of them) issues, problems coping at school, advocating to get support etc etc etc. But I have, and it’s been exhausting for all 3 of us.

OP posts:
Tiantian21 · 27/07/2022 01:09

Please can we just go back to going in shops again
This is so unsettling and worrying 😕

gymsone · 27/07/2022 01:27

I’m baffled as to why a bunch of ND/parents of ND kids are trying to argue the toss that life is no more challenging with ASD

Nobody said that Hmm

More baffling are the explanations about ASD, and how it works, given to people with first hand experience.

I'll leave you to your thread...

Original poster
VintedShminted · 27/07/2022 01:34

@gymsone that actually has been said, multiple times, on this thread. That this would be just as disappointing/hard to deal with for a NT child. I disagree.

Thanks for the input anyway.

OP posts:
Namechangehereandnow · 27/07/2022 10:35

I can’t really understand why the seller did this - they don’t get their payment until the buyer confirms everything is ok. If there’s no word from the buyer, Vinted automatically give the seller their money either 3 or 5 (can’t remember) days after tracking shows parcel is with the buyer - so in this instance the buyer won’t get their money. I’m genuinely confused as to why sellers are trying to scam, I would have thought it’s very difficult with Vinted due to their payment and tracking system.