To tell you about my sodding holiday so far ...

[Thousandthingstosay]

Stuck in holiday cottage with family in North England and these are the highlights so far

• it's raining
• father in law in denial about brexit, everything is the fault of the French, lazy doctors, people who don't want to work. This is relevant as everywhere we go there are staff shortages etc and no service
• mother in law being passive aggressive about meals. Complaining about cooking while complaining if anyone else attempts to cook or offers to take everyone out for a meal.
• at least 50% of the guests regularly suck their teeth after eating
• brother in law snores louder than he eats (which is horrendous) and is permanently red faced and boorish.
• sister in law clearly plotting a divorce and continually asks me legal advice (not sure why as I'm not a lawyer and never divorced)
• we have a random silent farter among us
• DH is sozzled as a coping strategy for staying with his family and useless
• My DD teenager glares at me while intermittently mouthing Italy, where most of her friends are apparently
• The dog drags it's arse across the carpet
• Many of the family cheat at the indoor games or are horridly competitive
• The wifi is shit

It's only day 3. We leave Friday.

the kids were all having a ball....then we realised the little darlings were going around finding dregs in glasses by chairs and knocking them back...

I'd have poured a large extra glass myself!

Get the dogs anal glands emptied.

Made my night reading this 🤣 Best of luck getting to Friday OP!

This is why Christmas is spent at home - thankfully my family all lives near - but even if we move - we will not do christmas in one house over night with a full family.

Sounds like a soap or sitcom. You have my deepest sympathies either way!

Soddingcat · Now
Can I swap my DC for yours please ? She sounds much more fun than mine

can I rant before I kill them ?😀

Ok , so I’m Italy with DH and 2 teen Ds

They have moaned and complained non stop .

Younger Ds is autistic so we expect it ,
He is clutching his back with the effort of it all , sighing with exhaustion, refusing food , refusing the loo as it’s urinals , complaining about everything and the extreme heat and complaining about the queues.

However , the older 19 year old DS is worse today actually .
We went to Vatican museum today in Rome , but he found the Sistine chapel boring , the ceiling he looked at for 2 minutes , and apparently that was enough as “ it’s not his thing “
it’s all very dull

This is a boy about to go and study fine art at Central Saint Martins …..

Now there was little old me thinking what a fab trip
for an art lover … what would I know .

This afternoon we have driven to Tuscany for the last leg of the Italian Adventure

I’ve just informed him we are climbing the Florence Duomo tomorrow , followed by the Uffizi Gallery to see the Michelangelo statue and more

He is really pissed off with me as he does not want to go

Apparently I should have informed him

I’m so bloody angry

I tried to engage him weeks ago when I was booking to ask what he would like to see , but he didn’t want to know as it was “ages away “
He’s passively aggressively apologised for not liking the same art as me

I’ve taken him round the back streets of Naples on this trip while he looks at graffiti , and encouraged him skateboarding on ( bloody dangerous roads ) , and kept my trap shut while admiring his frankly very dangerous videos as he needs his freedom

I could actually push him in the pool I’m so cross

and I might tomorrow….

Sorry for my rant
im just incredulous that we are here , doing amazing lovely Privileged stuff , we are lucky , but they may as well be in the North East, (incidentally where we are from )
hence the excitement at getting away !

wish me luck tomorrow

bloody teenagers
next year I’m leaving them behind

Cracked me up but confirms why we never go on hols with in-laws and other family etc other than our two children and their OH's and grandkids

When I read about the dog "dragging its bottom along the carpet" it reminded me of the smells of some of the customers I used to visit and the smell stuck up my nose for hours

You need to spark an almighty family row so that DH busts you out and this can never happen again. Go!

Wow, that's even worse than the scaffolding fiasco!

It doesn't help but sounds like our Christmas.
Father in law has pains in his leg, mil is out at Christmas eve church do. She was late, she had the keys to open up. Whilst rushing to open up, she fell. The others more or less walked around her to get in. 🤦‍♀️ My partner and son got her up.
I was at home with FIL, I don't do church stuff, FIL starts moaning about his legs, I offer to help him to his bedroom. (I was a care assistant) he declines say wife will be back shortly. Nope service over running. Eventually, I get him to go to bed, as now moaning about, back and legs.
I ask if I can get him, anything for the pain, as he is moaning about a hot water bottle, I ask if he wants me to find it, but no apparently only wife can get it. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️
He spends all night, moaning and groaning. I am a light sleeper, so not getting much sleep. Just as FIL, is quite enough for some sleep. The frigging cat, which was sleeping in a cardboard box, she has her own bed, but liked the box more, wakes up, and cannot get out of the box, so starts yowling the place down at 3:30am
Next day, Christmas day, FIL, decides he has to have these tablets, which have been stopped by doctors, so he phones out of hours doctors, then has to go to A and E to be given the tablets. So he goes to hospital, Christmas Dinner, (turkey) is moved to tea time, my son and mil return home, no FIL. It could be a while, so we open presents. 2 kids waiting for pressies. FIL, comes back, moans at us for opening the presents. 2 hours after we left him at hospital. Then moans that he has got turkey for dinner, then has a hissy fit, that mil didn't get mustard for the cold gammon.
Christmas, is also mil birthday, she will not open presents till after FIL has had a nap, and we have had tea, it's getting late by the time, this happens and we finish watching her open birthday presents about 11 pm at night, we are grumpy and tired, due to him moaning and the cat waking everyone up. We were only there 3 days, but it felt like the longest 3 days of my life. FIL didn't get, he was the cause of most of the days problems, he spent all his time laying into his wife, making her, forget things and she refused to go into the living room with him, as she needed a break.
I think this Christmas, we stay at home.

I'm working tomorrow, going to spend all day mouthin Italy at my boss :)

Is being in the North relevant? Sorry but part comes across as a bit patronising and regionist. Sure you didn't mean it this way, just felt an underlining vibe with vocabulary such as boorish and all of the unpleasant actions you described, like an uncouth Northern family stereotype?

There’s always one!

Jesus is regionist even a word 🙄

I’m giggling! Keep us updated op !

Mil regularly mentions we should do a family holiday all together and dh happily agrees as I try to hide the horror on my face. Dh then promises it won’t ever actually happen but we’ll just make correct comments for now. I’m scared!

ITALY😂

IME it is easy to distinguish dog farts from human ones. They are unspeakably worse.

Or it has worms?

Which is worse?! 🙈

Are you sure it's not you stress farting?

I'm so sorry you've gone on holiday with my in-laws. 😪 I've now learnt my lesson and never go away with them any more. Honestly, they sound exactly the same as my husband's mum and siblings. His dad is the only nice one in the family.

“In the north of England… it’s raining”

You seem surprised by this OP? 😅

Keep us posted on how the rest of the week goes… *grabs popcorn🍿

Oh my goodness, how are you not now in prison for ABH!?! I managed 4 days one hol with my PIL and the (now) ex's DB and SIL - all miserable as sin and terminally incapable of taking responsibility for anything at all! I was v early pregnant, and in massive amounts of pain so spent a lot of time in bed resting...I still think I got off lightly! The DB and SIL and niece spent all week with them, more fool them! But then they did also choose to live 2 doors away from the PIL! 😱🤷🏼‍♀️🙈

😂 have been on holiday once with my in-laws. Was the most unpleasant week of my life. Never to be repeated! Luckily DH agrees 😂

Mum of 2, one boy and one girl - he is 3 years older than her. They adore each other…so far!