To tell you about my sodding holiday so far ...

[Thousandthingstosay]

Stuck in holiday cottage with family in North England and these are the highlights so far

• it's raining
• father in law in denial about brexit, everything is the fault of the French, lazy doctors, people who don't want to work. This is relevant as everywhere we go there are staff shortages etc and no service
• mother in law being passive aggressive about meals. Complaining about cooking while complaining if anyone else attempts to cook or offers to take everyone out for a meal.
• at least 50% of the guests regularly suck their teeth after eating
• brother in law snores louder than he eats (which is horrendous) and is permanently red faced and boorish.
• sister in law clearly plotting a divorce and continually asks me legal advice (not sure why as I'm not a lawyer and never divorced)
• we have a random silent farter among us
• DH is sozzled as a coping strategy for staying with his family and useless
• My DD teenager glares at me while intermittently mouthing Italy, where most of her friends are apparently
• The dog drags it's arse across the carpet
• Many of the family cheat at the indoor games or are horridly competitive
• The wifi is shit

It's only day 3. We leave Friday.

I’m taking umbrage at the relevance of the north of England here. I’m pretty sure it would be just as shit on holiday with family in the south of England too, or do they not suck their teeth and fart down south?

My MIL railroaded herself onto our usual holiday of preference by offering to pay for most of it and upgrading us. Never again. She spent the entire holiday bossing DS1 around and being generally awkward and annoying. She retired for 4 hour naps in the afternoon, waking for snacks and meals basically and then she was up all night back and forth to the toilet, crashing around and waking everyone up continually. Thankfully I sleep with an eye mask and ear plugs but DH was suffering sleep deprivation by the end of the week and was getting twitchy and toward the end of his rope. On the last day he made himself feel better by booking us our holiday this year WITHOUT her - just to know we were had it all booked to do it our way meant so much!

Ugh. We are also not the extended family that should holiday as a large group. We have done it for years and each year I come home hating the people we went with. The feeling doesn't last long but my DH finally put his foot down this year and refused to go. He resents having to spend his days off from work going away with people that he doesn't want to spend time with. I don't blame him but I will miss the beach.

Ah sorry OP but I started giggling at 'Italy' and completely lost it at the dog 😂 I'm so sorry, I think we're all laughing because, on some level, we've been there. I live in the North East, I can recommend some lovely long walks if you're in this area!

Was in lovely Seahouses two weeks ago, my DP loved it but I'm a city girl. Day before we came home I got the train from Alnmouth and spent hours in the Metro Centre, bliss.

Brilliant approach from Daughter

Oh this did make me laugh!! Write a book - I’m sure it’ll be a success. 😂😂

Thank you for sharing, I feel so much better about the fact we just can’t afford a holiday this year. But honestly poor you, hold on and maybe join the silent farter???

If you arent already a writer...you should be....very witty turn of phrase....we have probably all had those holidays...in fact last week we had a in law family get together...thirty or so....family and friends...median age 65....and it was in Kent...near Dover...so half of us got there hours late...and the Brexshitty ones were blaming the French as they slurped their French wines...'nasty bastards just trying to make things difficult now we are Sovereign again' (WTF!!!)....my husband had warned me to keep quiet...I am a rabid anti Brexshitter....been on all the marches...Twitter...Facebook...joined the Rejoin EU brigade....that aside...clearly several of the younger marrieds were mid fight...many sitting at opposite ends of the garden and choosing to not spend time with partner....the kids were all having a ball....then we realised the little darlings were going around finding dregs in glasses by chairs and knocking them back...family eh?

Oh dear op I do sympathise-it sounds like an episode of ‘The Royal Family ‘.

Can you invent an Emergency at home ….water leak, poorly relative, sickly goldfish? Then you volunteer to heroically go home to sort it & let them get on with it. Perhaps take your daughter with you. 🇮🇹

The only relevance is that is where they had their holiday....most of us holiday away from home....I see no slur on the north.

Would make a great book!

Can you pretend illness and have to leave early?!

If we read in the papers about a mass family murder in the North of England in coming days we'll know why - if not who!

Tell your dd to develop d and v and you have to take her home, via the Italian riviera.

Take teenager out for a lovely Italian lunch tomorrow and escape for a few hours... leave DH to it. Just plans trips out and leave them at the cottage. Bit of rain doesn't matter.

Do you have a relative with a chronic illness not in attendance ? My dh usually tells people my seizures are playing up and he has to go home . Some of his colleagues must think I wander about in a permanent daze wearing head protection.

Yeah, family holidays are overrated.

Just had one with my parents and I'm still ranting about it. Never again

We are going AI next time (if at all), each with separate accommodation or not at all

I just can't

Just fake covid and go home

Thanks for the laugh OP. Roll on Friday eh! Try and get out on your own or with daughter maybe??

Ok so you now know why you don't meet up too often. To ignore this sudden realisation of the truth would be tilting at windmills surely. Next time they suggest it, have a thousand excuses reasons as to why you'd love to, but can't.

😂

I am in Italy. Same plot. THE SAME. Forty-two degrees outside, and the A/C does not work. Only difference.

If anal glands aren't dealt with it can lead to a lot of pain and constipation. It's easy for it to turn pretty bad and become infected or for there to be anal leakage due to the constipation. So doing nothing is actually really rather cruel. It costs about £20 at the vets round here and they actually know what they are doing.

lol, lol and lol😂

😂
it reminded me of a holiday we took w the PILs when DCs were primary aged. We joined them for a few days in Torquay in a very small flat (so small dh and I slept in the lounge), and as the week progressed we realised FIL only brought one jumper 🤢 let’s say it needed a boil wash by the Friday. That or an incinerator.