DD1s boyfriend helping himself to food

[FlamingGalar]

DD1 has a lovely boyfriend who has become like part of the family. We really do want to make him feel welcome in our house and he’s been away on holidays with us etc. however when he comes round, which is a good 4 times a week at least, he constantly has his head in the fridge, freezer or food cupboards and helps himself to whatever he fancies. I have asked him not to eat certain things he’s pulled out of the fridge as it’s earmarked for for dinner etc, but to be honest I would rather he just ask before rifling through the food stores!

He clearly feels very at home here, which I’m pleased about, but I do find it irritating that he helps himself to things without asking first. For example, on the weekly shop I buy a few pizzas for standby teas if one of the kids needs something on the hop or I can’t be bothered to cook. For the past few weeks he’s eaten every one of these ‘standby’ pizzas! More annoyingly he eats a whole large pizza here then goes home for a full meal there too. I grew up with brothers so I know how much food a teenage boy can put away but I do feel slightly put out that he seems to think he has carte blanche on anything we have in the house. Crisps, drinks, cereal, toast etc I have absolutely no problem with him (or any of dds friends) helping themselves to, but whole meals feels a bit much. Am I being stingy about this? Is this just part and parcel of having teens around the house?

I'm 32 and I don't think I'd do this in my own parents house 🙈 it's just plain rude unless it's your own home?!

Next time when he's half way through the pizza, pop out into the kitchen and tell me him that you bought them at 75% off because they are way past their use-by date. He should be sure to let you know if he develops food poisoning or if they're okay as it's your new regular grocery store. He'll never eat form your fridge again😁

Kidding but honestly, this is not okay. Does anyone really think that an 18 year-old wouldn't even have considered the feelings of the person who did the shopping and cooking? He could have his own place at 18 and have to shop and pay for the supplies. I doubt anyone here would have done this at 18 at a friend's house and he wouldn't think of doing this at work. He knows better. Ask him and DD to stop.

@NanaNelly while teaching him that the women of the household will fetch his food for him! Would you want your DD's partner thinking she should fetch and carry for him?

Same. The only thing I'll help myself to is tea or squash.

Teenagers don't always think-but it's just gobsmacking to me that "not thinking" could extend so far as to helping yourself to food.

Not cheese & crackers or a couple of biscuits but food that obviously makes up meals.

Well when I was younger food was often bought on a daily basis & used that day.

No freezer just an ice box(?)at the top of the fridge that might have fitted a bag of peas a tub of ice cream & some fish fingers.

We just didn't have days worth of food about.

That said, we would have waited to be asked-by the adult!

Anyway-if he's being fed meals at home-why is he eating pizzas at yours?

One of the kids' friends rooting around in the fridge would be like someone rummaging in my handbag. GET OUT OF OUR STUFF! I'll offer what I'm confortable with giving you, it's not a free for all.

If he's hungry he can have a piece of fruit or toast or weetabix (as long as he doesn't use the last of the bread or other inconsiderate thing). You aren't running a soup kitchen for stray teens.

My own children would always have asked first!

Food was never a free-for-all

There seems to be a bizarre pride amongst some on here with having teenage boys who eat them out of house and home. My DS wouldn’t have bloody dared help himself to food without checking if it was earmarked for a meal. It’s common courtesy. I think my DD would die of embarrassment if her boyfriend behaved like this.

So sorry. My daughter's boyfriend was staying and I found him peering in my food cupboards a few times - apparently she'd sent him downstairs to 'get some snacks'. I was really irritated, and when he'd gone had the conversation with her that I'd prefer her to come downstairs and find them something. He also had her dressing gown on! :)

Yeah. My parents are incredibly generous and I wouldn't do that in their house.

Things like yoghurt, fruit etc were a free for all at ours. But ‘meal’ items like pizzas, frozen food etc wasn’t.

When mine were teens and with friends round I'd have a freezer drawer they could cook from. I would put in pizzas, dippers, crumpets (foods on offer or from Iceland) etc. once it was gone that was it until I went shopping again. They soon learnt it needed to be rationed if they were having friends round daily in the holidays.

Oh ffs

Well, that’s me convinced, Freckleclot 🙄

My daughter-in-law does this. My son stopped her from cooking and eating large items such as the frozen pizzas though.

I know when she's been been here because she tracks mud in and leaves crumbs. Sometimes I think I'm alone in the house, then I hear munching coming from the pantry. She goes in there to snack, turning off the light so I can't see her through the frosted glass pantry door.

One day I was really looking forward to sitting down with a nice cup of tea and the last chocolate biscuit. When my tea was made I discovered she'd come in sometime earlier and eaten the last chocolate biscuit!

My husband and I hide the goodies we don't want her to eat, but my god the girl seems to sniff them out.

She doesn't live here.

I had similar recently and now stock up with cheaper shops own cereal and bread, beans eggs and bacon. Dd bf stays most days as I have my GS living here. He eats at his but comes here starving! my rule is that if they use the last egg / drop of milk they need to let me know or go to the shop and replace it.

Get a lock for the fridge AND put a big sign on the door. No Entry

It’s really not complicated.

Conversation with DD “ere, Stace, Gav is welcome here anytime, I like the kid, but he’s taking the piss eating all the family food. Unless he’s invited to dinner, can you make sure you leave the pizzas, chicken breasts, steak alone? He can get a sandwich, cereal, cereal, toast if he’s hungry but not the food for our dinners, alright?”

Tidy!

@BlodynGwyn

wow! That’s shocking

she should be ashamed of herself

Maybe I am weird but I don't think it is lovely that he is that comfortable in your home, I don't aspire to have my kids' friends or boy/girl friends that comfortable

I think I'd make it clear to DD that it's becoming a bit of an issue & ask her to have a word.

I'd probably say toast is fine and buy more bread and spread weekly but snacks/cheese/ham etc all need to be off limits too else you'll be shopping constantly as you can't rely on what you think is in the fridge being there! I'd also shut down all requests for frozen pizzas etc.

It is really rude, OP. I bet his Mum would be mortified if she knew what he was doing.

My kids wouldn't do that. I would say to him "Actually we don't do that here."

This doesn't sound normal at all - has she got some kind of eating disorder?

I'd be worried about her.

😂