DD1s boyfriend helping himself to food

[FlamingGalar]

DD1 has a lovely boyfriend who has become like part of the family. We really do want to make him feel welcome in our house and he’s been away on holidays with us etc. however when he comes round, which is a good 4 times a week at least, he constantly has his head in the fridge, freezer or food cupboards and helps himself to whatever he fancies. I have asked him not to eat certain things he’s pulled out of the fridge as it’s earmarked for for dinner etc, but to be honest I would rather he just ask before rifling through the food stores!

He clearly feels very at home here, which I’m pleased about, but I do find it irritating that he helps himself to things without asking first. For example, on the weekly shop I buy a few pizzas for standby teas if one of the kids needs something on the hop or I can’t be bothered to cook. For the past few weeks he’s eaten every one of these ‘standby’ pizzas! More annoyingly he eats a whole large pizza here then goes home for a full meal there too. I grew up with brothers so I know how much food a teenage boy can put away but I do feel slightly put out that he seems to think he has carte blanche on anything we have in the house. Crisps, drinks, cereal, toast etc I have absolutely no problem with him (or any of dds friends) helping themselves to, but whole meals feels a bit much. Am I being stingy about this? Is this just part and parcel of having teens around the house?

‘In his household they all just help themselves to whatever they like at anytime without needing to ask permission and I suppose he saw our house as an extension of his.’

Then he’s rude. Nobody polite comes to the conclusion that someone else’s house is an extension of their own.

Glad he’s apologised, OP.

Yes I agree. Teenagers don't always read between the social lines quite well enough to consider the feelings of the invisible pizza fairy who magically keeps the fridge restocked. A teenage brain will only go as far as I'm hungry. My girlfriend said it's ok. Mmmm .. pizza

Oh rubbish. I’d never have dreamed of doing this as a teenager in someone else’s house no matter how hungry I was. If teens do this now that’s on their upbringing and not their innate nature.

"Then he’s rude. Nobody polite comes to the conclusion that someone else’s house is an extension of their own."

Well, they do if somebody says 'make yourself at home' or 'help yourself'.

They’re a figure of speech. I don’t think anyone with manners takes them literally. And “help yourself”. is usually made in reference to a plate of biscuits or cake, not the contents of your host’s fridge or food cupboards.

"And “help yourself”. is usually made in reference to a plate of biscuits or cake, not the contents of your host’s fridge or food cupboards."

Well, yes, this is how the misunderstanding could have come about.

‘Well, they do if somebody says 'make yourself at home' or 'help yourself'.’

‘Make yourself at home’ is such a sweet thing for someone to say. I generally take it to mean don’t ask to use the toilet and the tea bags are in the second cupboard on the right. I wouldn’t eat food meant for family meals.

But did the OP even say this?

😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

Oh please. An 18 year old non family member stealing food from your freezer is deeply rude and disrespectful, and yet you take it as a backhanded compliment? No wonder there are so many selfish, entitled men in this world with women like you enabling them. Stop trying so hard to be the cool mum and try seeing this cheeky fucker for what he is if you want your DD to learn what is and what isn’t acceptable behaviour from a man and hopefully aim higher.

@PinkSyCo completely agree.

Teens/20's here and they ALL double check before taking food like pizzas or cooking something from the fridge.

Basic manners.

Making a snack or a toastie etc is not something my children need to ask for but taking food that could indeed be part of a meal is not something they would dream of doing without checking.

Very basic courtesy.

The idea that they or any of their friends would be in the fridges or pantries of the houses they go into taking whatever they want is unbelievable.

None of my friends would tolerate it for a moment.

It’s incredibly rude and entitled. My own DC know they have to ask first if they want a snack, they’d never dream of taking food without asking even in their own home!