The sound of my husband chewing makes me want to kill myself.

[BarnabyRocks]

He's here now eating crisps. Anyone would think he's chewing through a fking concrete wall! And yyu should here the fucking racket when he's eating lettuce! I don't know who taught him to chew like that but OmFGOD I HATE IT!! . It makes me want to smash my face into a wall!
Swallowing noises too.

Anyone else hate the sound of their partner eating/swallowing?

Same! I tell him it's because it helps me to concentrate to block out background noises (it does) but it also cancels out any potential chewing/slurping o tea sounds too.

Ex DP was a cereal slurper. Smashed the spoon into the bowl as if trying to dig a hole in the bottom of it then shovelled the food into his lips with loud slurp.

Tink - slurp
Tink - slurp
Tink - slurp

I used to tap out an accompanying beat on the table as he kept the rhythym perfectly.

I can’t stand eating with Mil for precisely this reason. She chews really noisily despite keeping her mouth shut. She then ‘discreetly’ belches and picks her teeth. It makes me feel ill.

I can't deal with my dad eating, it's always driven me mad. He cuts his food so hard that his cutlery ends up scraping the plate with every stroke. He chews his food so hard that his teeth bang together with every movement. It just makes me rage so badly.

Partner's son drives me mad because he chews with his mouth open, therefore making a sloppy lip-smacking sound constantly. He also drinks his drinks so fast that there's an audible gulp with every mouthful. He's a fully grown adult, yet cannot eat or drink politely.

Me too. The cutlery biting is almost worse than the clickety click of jaws, or loud slurping and then extended gulping of tea.

Yep, my husband has it. We eat watching TV, or if not there has to be music on (out in a restaurant not so much of an issue due to general background noise). And I don't eat crisps in his presence - not too much of an issue as I'm not that fussed about crisps.

But I do get it - I used to have to put headphones in when a colleague I used to work with ate anything at her desk (which seemed to be almost constantly....) and my brother breathes and eats quite loudly. I think my husband shows a lot of self control when he eats a meal at my mum and brother's house as he doesn't have our usual methods of TV/music to drown out the sounds.

Apparently i eat like a lion....my sister complained🤣. When im at home i lose all sense if decorum😁

I only have plastic plates and bowls in this house to stop the chinking on normal plates.

When I joined a new team we used to have food provided for our team meetings. They now get it before the meeting !

The rage is unreal.

Yep! My husband eating an apple seriously makes me consider divorce. Or murder 🤷🏼‍♀️

That sounds like an abusive relationship. You shouldn't be scared to eat - especially as he clearly is quite happy to make noises as he eats and enjoys his food.

I have this, I could actually scream when I hear him!

This!

Also, I’d almost forgotten this but I used to work with a man who I loved working with but MY GOD he was the noisiest eater in the world, he was awful-it was so bad when we had to go out in the car together I used to sneak an earplug into the ear nearest to him!
then another time, a man who sat opposite me used to theatrically eat toast, with splayed fingers and his giant cave mouth ready to bite, my boss sat next to me and I had to say to him “I’m putting earphones in when he eats” because I could bear it. He did say “yes he’s quite dramatic isn’t he?” 😆

I’m laughing at some of this (fucking pig man!) but I’m constantly enraged by my DH eating: which he does an awful lot of. Crunching is the best bit! He ate a few ice lollies recently. I was in no another room and could hear it even with my fingers in my ears. I go outside a lot when he eats. It’s horrible to feel like this. The worst part is knowing that he didn’t eat like that for about 14 years of our relationship and really plays it up since he knows it really bothers me (I can’t eat if I can hear him)

Blimey, no I wouldnt!!

Completely understand all of this! My DH draws the food in with his tongue, then there is this nasty clicking sound - can’t work out if it’s his nose or his jaw. Then the unnecessary chomping. I could easily stave his head in. If I mention it, he gets cross. He waits until I go to bed before starting on the Pringles because that would seriously tip me over the edge!

Oh god,the porridge. Every morning he eats it while it's too hot so every spoonful requires a noisy snorty intake of breath, a slurp and a spoon scrape. Over and over. Then there's the magnum lolly. He licks,sucks and slurps,truly horrific to see and hear.I want to stick a screwdriver in my eardrums. Oh yeah,and crisps 😕

Wait till they get older, it gets worse 🤦🏻‍♀️

Dh has a bridge now and seems to struggle to eat with his mouth closed. I feel like I am sitting at the table with a child, constantly saying can you close you mouth please when you are eating.

And the breathing! Omg

32 years together it is a bit late to trade him in. Love him but he sometimes irritates the fuck out of me. Thank god we have room for separate bedrooms, or I would be locked up by now 🤣

My sister eating an apple started it for me when I was in late teens, nothing else bothered me like that, but a clicky jaw, gulping a drink and a cough that sounds like it doesn’t need to be a cough ( dry) gets on my nerves, I literally grit my teeth and get away from the noise if I can- these all developed through life I’m in my 60s now but still they make my temper flare internally and I have to escape!

By the way this post has made me chuckle!

There is someone in the office and I swear, he doesn't stop eating all fucking day! I'm so sick to death of hearing stuff in his mouth constantly. Not only that, but the rustling of the fucking packets of food he brings in drives me to the very edge. Also the others in the office eating like they can't close their mouths. I shouldn't have to hear their food being eaten. It's awful! Then there's the one who chews gum so loudly that I can hear it the other side of the office. That's when my headphones go in.

I have found my tribe.

Also, people with wet sounding mouths shouldn't be allowed to be interviewed on the radio or on podcasts.

LadyCampanulaTottington
I’ll see your DH eating and raise you The Competitive Sneezer.
It goes something like this … AAAAAACCCCCHHHHHOOOOOOOO at ear busting decibels.

He CANNOT be worse than my DP. Loud, thundering sneeze complete with dramatic look on his face, which turns red with effort. I've asked him before why tf do you sneeze like that?!

I won't be asking in future tho as last week he sneezed so hard he pulled a muscle so that's put paid to his am dram sneeze game, he sneezes carefully now. The calm lecture I gave him whilst he was howling in self-induced agony was most satisfying

I used to call my sister the Cementmixer when we both lived at home. The slurping, chewing and crunching was horrific. My heart used to sink when she announced she was going to 'have a snack soup'. It was interminable, blowing on the bloody soup, sucking, gulping.

My ex boss drinking tea with an accompanying Aaahh after every mouthful.

People on public transport with bags of crisps. I can guarantee they will lovingly stick their fingers in the packets when finished to fish out every last crumb and suck it off their fingers.

However, I'm told my jaw clicks when I eat.