That this really pisses me off every single day?

[JimmyHillsChin]

When my DH and I first got together, he used to text me when I was in work to ask what knickers I was wearing. Back then, in the honeymoon phase it was quite sexy and I’d reply telling him. Fast forward ten years; we’re now married and have two young DCs. The underwear thing lost it’s novelty for me about 9.5 years ago but he still asks me. I hate it, he knows I hate it, but he still asks. We’re in our 40s FFS!! So AIBU and this is just a harmless little thing and I shouldn’t let it wind me up or AINBU and I’m justified in it being annoying?

YABU he is trying to keep things alive

Sticking a fork in his face seems reasonable.

Holy moly ‘being 40 and not being able to talk about sexy underwear’. OP you are being unreasonable. Either that or he finds someone who is still wanting a sexy life at 40. You takes your choice.

He still finds you super sexy. That’s fab!

Holy moly ‘being 40 and not being able to talk about sexy underwear’. OP you are being unreasonable. Either that or he finds someone who is still wanting a sexy life at 40. You takes your choice.

His comment wouldn't be sexy to a lot of women. @Ndd135632 Did you miss the part where OP said he's even saying it in front of the kids?

It depends how it is being said in front of kids. Better than putting their mother down, ruining her self esteem or cheating on her.

And he wants ‘tongues in’. Well some of us do! I love a tongues in snog with my husband. I don’t understand the vilification here for that. Maybe OP you don’t fancy him.

I’d grey rock those messages. Just don’t respond. Don’t bother wasting your breath telling him to stop. Ignore and delete them. He’ll soon get bored.

The above is not advocating ignoring and excusing shit behaviour. It’s advising not to feed it.

Im not a fan of LTB advice. But if he’s not making you happy then I’d seriously look at what YOU want your life to look like. Because I wouldn’t want it to be one where a partner has been ignoring my feelings for so many years.

He's killing them fucking dead.

Have people really missed the idea that enthusiastic consent is not only fantastic, but also required.

You are a right weirdo. Exactly how is an entirely unwanted "what underwear are you wearing?" ever OK to say in front of children? I'd love to see the mental gymnastics you have to do to make that acceptable.

This 😀

FML, the bar on MN carries on getting lower and lower - all whilst being portrayed as being a cool/edgy/with it/etc partner.

You forgot to add that said mental gymnastics would be carried out in the required sexy underwear!

Am still “eh” about their basic reasoning of “put up with it or hell find someone more up for it” - paraphrasing, but that was the gist. Personally, I’d be “please, hurry up and fuck off”!

Send him a photo of skidmarks in pants back. He’ll soon get the message

Something you find sexy at 20, usually isn’t the same at 40, 60 or 80.
This underwear fetish at this point is creepy.

It's off that he asks you in person in front of the kids. That's creepy and teaches them that women's boundaries can be trampled all over.

Does she do it in order to wind you up? That is unkind.

Quite surprised at some of the comments - you clearly do not fancy your husband anymore, whereas he still fancies you - regardless of pants or wanting to snog you.

I'd do both myself and him a favour and split.

Life is too short to spend with someone that constantly annoys you, and it's not fair to be rejected all the time.

Men are very visual… Start sending photos. Suggestions below.

BTW he doesn’t text me anymore, he asks me in person. Usually in front of the DC which infuriates me even more!

In all honesty this is one relatively minor thing of hundreds of other things he does.

He insists on “tongues in” (he actually calls it that!!!!!) kisses

Depressing that so many women think this is cute when you have said you don’t like it and asked him to stop.

No surprise that he is an abusive twat.

What’s stopping you from leaving the cunt?

🤣 @Fraaahnces

Although he'd probably be asking when he's going to get pegged.

After 9 years of telling him not ask what underwear she’s wearing (and in front of the children it’s no wonder she doesn’t fancy him.

Stop victim blaming.

😂

“Stop victim blaming.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄 oh come on.

I think you two need to have a chat.