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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That this really pisses me off every single day?

181 replies

JimmyHillsChin · 22/07/2022 20:03

When my DH and I first got together, he used to text me when I was in work to ask what knickers I was wearing. Back then, in the honeymoon phase it was quite sexy and I’d reply telling him. Fast forward ten years; we’re now married and have two young DCs. The underwear thing lost it’s novelty for me about 9.5 years ago but he still asks me. I hate it, he knows I hate it, but he still asks. We’re in our 40s FFS!! So AIBU and this is just a harmless little thing and I shouldn’t let it wind me up or AINBU and I’m justified in it being annoying?

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 22/07/2022 22:29

Macaroni1924 · 22/07/2022 22:27

At this stage in the game I think it’s nice her is carrying it on a wee tradition from ur early days. My DH and I are always joking so I’d have a stock of Bridget jones memes or bug fat men in pants to send to him if it was me.

The tongues in thing is gross my dh would say something stupid like that as a joke but wouldn’t be a repeated offence.

I would be flattered he still thinks of u this way and wants to keep the spark alive. Maybe this is his way…

She’s literally asked him multiple times not to do it, how is that “nice” or “flattering”? In front of their kids!

madasawethen · 22/07/2022 22:33

The skiddy y fronts dear, to match yours xo

Ourlady · 22/07/2022 22:46

Disgusting saying that in front of your children. I would divorce him just for that.

Oysterbabe · 22/07/2022 22:55

How old are your children?
I would completely ignore him like he hadn't spoken, walk away from him every time.

pictish · 22/07/2022 22:59

It doesn’t matter what…it’s something she has asked many times for him not to do. He’s forcing it on her. That’s not nice.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 22/07/2022 22:59

YANBU. This would give me the ick tbh. My DH went through a stage some time back (after we had been together 25 years!) of groping and grabbing me and trying to squeeze my boobs. He had an idea for some bizarre reason that it was 'sexy' and a 'turn on.' I found it repugnant and off-putting, and ended up yelling at him that he was pissing me right off. He said 'but you're my WIFE, I am entitled to touch you FFS.' I said 'you are entitled to NOTHING from me. What the actual FUCK?' Hmm It caused a huge row, and he simply did NOT get it that my body was not his to fucking grope and prod. Some men have zero boundaries and think they're entitled to do what the fuck they want!

CallOnMe · 22/07/2022 23:00

Your husband makes my flesh creep.

Me too!

BronwenFrideswide · 22/07/2022 23:03

CallOnMe · 22/07/2022 23:00

Your husband makes my flesh creep.

Me too!

Me three. Ugh.

Nothappyatwork · 22/07/2022 23:11

JimmyHillsChin · 22/07/2022 21:43

In all honesty this is one relatively minor thing of hundreds of other things he does.

To the PP who asked: No he is not my Mr Darcy anymore.

He insists on “tongues in” (he actually calls it that!!!!!) kisses which makes me want to stick a fork in his face.

It does sound like you’ve got the ick, I think you should set him free to go and find somebody that can be arsed to describe her underwear to him.

MistyRock · 22/07/2022 23:17

HoobleDooble · 22/07/2022 21:34

The ones with a gap between the material and the elastic and a russet gusset where my Fanny's bleached the dye out of them.

😂😂😂

Dic · 22/07/2022 23:20

Just ignore him every time

Wombat100 · 22/07/2022 23:25

adorablecat · 22/07/2022 21:57

'None of your business, because you won't be getting inside them ever again, you intolerable bore.'

🤣🤣🤣

Isaidnoalready · 22/07/2022 23:26

Percy pig pants!

IvorCutler · 22/07/2022 23:28

Lol, tell him tena lady maybe?

WisteriaLodge · 22/07/2022 23:30

Big grey pants with burn holes in the seat...

ArcticRoll2 · 22/07/2022 23:40

If he knows it annoys you im not sure why he keeps doing it. Maybe he is cheeky and trying to make you laugh. I’d just ask him stupid questions and the say how does he feel about it. Or I’d describe my underwear something along the lines of ‘big massive beige period stained
granny pants with holes and loose elastic that you like to wear when you feel bloated’ see how long he stays interested in knowing then

Snugglemonkey · 22/07/2022 23:44

If you have told him lots of times to stop and he persists, that is so creepy and wrong. He is trying to force you into a sex game you are not consenting to and I would say it like to to him.

OldFan · 22/07/2022 23:49

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps Sorry to hear that, that's awful. Sad Is he still doing it? Difficult to get past someone having that attitude.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 22/07/2022 23:52

I always think when you've asked someone to stop doing something you find irritating and puerile and is no longer sexy, they keep doing it as an act of passive aggression and the whole thing becomes something else entirely such as their anger at lack of sex or something like that.

oviraptor21 · 22/07/2022 23:55

Is there anything you like about him?

Xtraincome · 23/07/2022 00:00

But do you answer the question or reply with a regular "good morning" text? If so, and he doesn't follow up with pestering you about your undies, it's clearly his way of starting the daily text chain between you both. I wouldn't get too bothered about it.

If he keeps pestering for an answer about your high waist m&s black briefs, then that's really irritating.

FrecklesMalone · 23/07/2022 00:19

In front of your children. What the actual fuck.
He is either teaching your son how to be a fucking creep or your daughter that ask a woman about her knickers is some sort of normal behaviour not some perverted kink.
Vile man. How can you be with him.

Musti · 23/07/2022 00:33

it’s weird. I’d be tempted to ditch all my knickers and buy the same type

Staffy1 · 23/07/2022 00:48

SheeplessAndCounting · 22/07/2022 21:02

Lol, apart from the thread that’s descended into the usual bile about brexit

What?

I’m not sure how much clearer I can make that…
there are a few amusing threads tonight, this one included, and one crappy thread with people moaning and getting quite nasty as usual, about brexit.

Maytodecember · 23/07/2022 00:49

JimmyHillsChin · 22/07/2022 21:43

In all honesty this is one relatively minor thing of hundreds of other things he does.

To the PP who asked: No he is not my Mr Darcy anymore.

He insists on “tongues in” (he actually calls it that!!!!!) kisses which makes me want to stick a fork in his face.

He’s now starting to sound a teeny bit controlling.