To think if you borrow something you should return it?

[justawoman93]

Me and DH lent out a piece of equipment that cost us £100 to what I thought was a good friend.
The other day DH needed it to do a job, reliezed friend hadn't returned it. So I messaged her asking for it back to be told she had sold it saying she thought it was hers and didn't relieze it was our item. (She knew full well it was a loan I have texts of her asking to borrow it)

She hasn't offered the money for said item and simply starting complaining she's skint and has no money (don't we all right now)

AIBU to be very pissed off? I'm not even sure I want to remain friends with her now as she clearly doesn't respect our friendship enough or am I being a bit over the top?

I'm really disappointed as I don't usually lend out things unless I can trust said person and she's completely broken my trust but on the other hand she is going through a bit of a rough time right now so I feel guilty for being angry. We can't afford to replace the piece of equipment that's been sold either so now the job will have to wait a couple of months which again is something that needed to be done quite quickly.

Oh dear, of course that’s totally unreasonable.

sums up the the worst kind of person to have as a friend

Good idea….way to go….

Well done OP!!

I’m sick of CFs and what’s worse the pushovers that let them get away w

with it.

You may not get your money back but at least you told her what you thought of her.
She’s not a friend.

She has got the money to repay you she would just rather spend it on her holiday. What a complete Cheeky Fucker.

Someone admitted to me when they borrowed things they never planned to give them back and deny all knowledge. Must admit I am a fool and have been overgenerous lending my things and have sometimes forgotten who borrowed them. Usually to people much better off than me. Don't know how they sleep at night.

YANBU - if I borrow something from someone I make sure I return it in as good, if not better, condition than I borrowed it. It may have been a genuine mistake but they should replace it immediately and buy you a bottle of wine/some beers/flowers as an apology.

She’s one cheeky bitch

That’s disgraceful! I’d bet money she knew exactly what she was doing. You don’t forget that something doesn’t belong to you in a few weeks. She sold it knowing full well!

Report her to the police - you have all the evidence you need. Theft is theft.

I was the friend once, inadvertently… It was a total misunderstanding on my part. a neighbour saw me struggling to find the same item, she came over ‘‘to give me a spare one she had, “I don’t need it, it’s yours”.
Her meaning of the word give was different to mine I was mortified when she asked for it back.

That’s a completely different situation.

People who borrow things SHOULD give them back, definitely. But people who lend things must be prepared not to get them back in the same condition, or not to get them back at all. That's what I teach my children when they lend or borrow books and toys, and I try to live by it when I lend or borrow things too. Take care of other people's things, but know that when you lend something, they might not be as careful. It's a shame, but it's life.

Really?

YANBU OP!

Seems like it was borrowed to sell

I don't lend any more. Not things (after I lent something precious to me was destroyed and the borrower laughed), and not money (after the person I lent money to got annoyed about having to pay it back - and me quaking asking for my own cash back).

Now I'll GIVE something if I can readily afford it, rather than loan, in the knowledge that it's helping the other person and I won't see it back. That works better for my nerves and my relationships. 🌹

On point of principle I’d take proceed to take action in small claim court
it costs £35, but it’s worth it. My three points would be

1. send her a clear don’t fuck with me message


2. Request the full value of the cost to replace the item, not the paltry £100 she sold it for


3. if she sold on eBay, contact them and report she sold a stolen good that she didn’t own. Ask her account be suspended

It's a bit weird though, isn't it?

You are so not being unreasonable! Three weeks and she forgets she borrowed it and it’s not hers?! ABSOLUTE RUBBISH! This is why I am wary about lending things and now only lend things I wouldn’t mind going missing or being broken as you can’t trust so many people

She's not a friend. Buy a new one and don't talk to her again.

What was the item

@A580Hojas can I borrow your car for 3 weeks please?

Wtf !!! Are you deranged or just stupid?

I think @A580Hojas is just winding everyone up on purpose with their reply - the OP is so obviously NBU.

Some AIBU are so annoyingly obvious.