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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you borrow something you should return it?

375 replies

justawoman93 · 21/07/2022 08:02

Me and DH lent out a piece of equipment that cost us £100 to what I thought was a good friend.
The other day DH needed it to do a job, reliezed friend hadn't returned it. So I messaged her asking for it back to be told she had sold it saying she thought it was hers and didn't relieze it was our item. (She knew full well it was a loan I have texts of her asking to borrow it)

She hasn't offered the money for said item and simply starting complaining she's skint and has no money (don't we all right now)

AIBU to be very pissed off? I'm not even sure I want to remain friends with her now as she clearly doesn't respect our friendship enough or am I being a bit over the top?

I'm really disappointed as I don't usually lend out things unless I can trust said person and she's completely broken my trust but on the other hand she is going through a bit of a rough time right now so I feel guilty for being angry. We can't afford to replace the piece of equipment that's been sold either so now the job will have to wait a couple of months which again is something that needed to be done quite quickly. AngrySad

OP posts:
BalloonsAndWhistles · 21/07/2022 13:23

I can’t believe that people still think that A580Hojas post is real!

IT’S NOT!!

This is a troll and every time anyone responds they’ll be clapping their hairy hands together, loving it. That’s why I’m not pasting their post as I don’t want to give them more attention.

LavenderfortheBees · 21/07/2022 13:24

Don't be a mug OP.

IncompleteSenten · 21/07/2022 13:27

BalloonsAndWhistles · 21/07/2022 13:23

I can’t believe that people still think that A580Hojas post is real!

IT’S NOT!!

This is a troll and every time anyone responds they’ll be clapping their hairy hands together, loving it. That’s why I’m not pasting their post as I don’t want to give them more attention.

Id like to think so but this is Mumsnet.
Home of give people who shit on you creme eggs, invite the kid who kicks the crap out of your child to their birthday party and give tenants your house.

Absolutely nothing would surprise me. 😁

BalloonsAndWhistles · 21/07/2022 13:34

Ohthatsexciting · 21/07/2022 12:31

The notion of walking in to a police station and reporting this when the police are so very overstretched atm, and potentially in an ex good friend who has behaved appallingly but presumably has many other redeeming features to have been a “good friend”, being arrested - literally makes my toes curl with embarrassment

bit something you would do @StoppinBy

posts like this make the thread sound more and more unbelievable.

BalloonsAndWhistles · 21/07/2022 13:36

IncompleteSenten · 21/07/2022 13:27

Id like to think so but this is Mumsnet.
Home of give people who shit on you creme eggs, invite the kid who kicks the crap out of your child to their birthday party and give tenants your house.

Absolutely nothing would surprise me. 😁

Show quote history

Don’t forget the mum’s who insist on Super soakers at parties 😆

But yeah, I see where you’re going with that.

Toooldtocareanymore · 21/07/2022 13:39

I think this is outrageous behavior, I don't believe that story of selling by accident at all after only 3 weeks, given her money problems I'd say you were super generous to give her opportunity to try source a second hand one to replace yours, you need it back and you need it now, so she replaces or gives you the money to get a new one. That's her only choice.

chipsandpeas · 21/07/2022 13:43

justawoman93 · 21/07/2022 09:39

Trouble is small claims court is £35 so by the time I've done that I'll only get £65 back. It's not worth it.
I'm done with the friendship. I think that is the only way going forward.
She relied on me for quite a few things so she's shot herself in the foot. She was quite pushy at times but I always forgave her so this is probably a blessing in disguise.
I will buy the item again in a few months, and never ever lend out any of my things ever again. I'm done being a mug!

do it for the principle, if your friendship is now over you have nothing really to lose
id text giving a deadline for the money back and if not you are going to the small claims court

JuneJuly · 21/07/2022 13:50

BalloonsAndWhistles · 21/07/2022 13:23

I can’t believe that people still think that A580Hojas post is real!

IT’S NOT!!

This is a troll and every time anyone responds they’ll be clapping their hairy hands together, loving it. That’s why I’m not pasting their post as I don’t want to give them more attention.

They're not a troll.

It's bleedin' obvious they were being sarcastic because who in their right mind, in the OP's situation, would ask if they were the one being unreasonable.

FML

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/07/2022 13:51

@A580Hojas is just being a goady fucker, imo.

pinkyredrose · 21/07/2022 13:52

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Huh? How is it 'fine'?

Butchyrestingface · 21/07/2022 13:58

On the bright side, it only cost you £100 to get a cheeky, thieving, brass necked cunt out of your lives, @justawoman93 . Many people have paid a much higher price.

Was this piece of equipment something your husband needed for his job?

Quia · 21/07/2022 13:59

justawoman93 · 21/07/2022 08:08

You'd sell your friends items after borrowing it for 3 weeks? What? ConfusedHmm

Show quote history

I suspect this was an ironic response to a slightly silly AIBU. After all, who is ever going to say that if you borrow something you shouldn't return it?

Valeriekat · 21/07/2022 14:01

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Really? She is a thief!

Fladdermus · 21/07/2022 14:04

justawoman93 · 21/07/2022 09:39

Trouble is small claims court is £35 so by the time I've done that I'll only get £65 back. It's not worth it.
I'm done with the friendship. I think that is the only way going forward.
She relied on me for quite a few things so she's shot herself in the foot. She was quite pushy at times but I always forgave her so this is probably a blessing in disguise.
I will buy the item again in a few months, and never ever lend out any of my things ever again. I'm done being a mug!

It is worth it because it'll mean she hasn't got away with it.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 21/07/2022 14:08

justawoman93 · 21/07/2022 08:08

She had it for three weeks and sold it. It's not like she had it for months on end.

Absolutely no excuse, then. I wondered if she'd had it for a year & had genuinely forgotten it was a loan. Three weeks? She's trying it on.

Rosehugger · 21/07/2022 14:09

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Thief.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 21/07/2022 14:10

justawoman93 · 21/07/2022 08:48

She doesn't have the money as she's going on holiday and won't be able to afford it if she repays me and ALSO she sold the item for a lot less value than it's worth, it was a few months old and still held it's value. Bloody typical.
I haven't replied to her message I just can't be arsed.
I've done a lot for this "friend" when she was complaining everyone else wasn't bothering with her and this just shows why.
I will not be lending anything else out ever again. Sad why are people such fuckers?

She needs to repay you first & forget about the holiday - I'd tell her that, too.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 21/07/2022 14:12

And if she sold it for less that it was worth, more fool her (if that's even true). She needs to repay you what the item cost.

MigsandTiggs · 21/07/2022 14:12

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This is theft.

cawfeee · 21/07/2022 14:13

Ohthatsexciting · 21/07/2022 12:31

The notion of walking in to a police station and reporting this when the police are so very overstretched atm, and potentially in an ex good friend who has behaved appallingly but presumably has many other redeeming features to have been a “good friend”, being arrested - literally makes my toes curl with embarrassment

bit something you would do @StoppinBy

Yeah she sounds like a great friend apart from her annoying habit of robbing the ops stuff and selling it.

HollowTalk · 21/07/2022 14:13

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Eh? You'd sell something you'd borrowed from your friend?

HollowTalk · 21/07/2022 14:19

She'll have to pay the costs of the small claims court though. You'd definitely win this one.

Onlyforcake · 21/07/2022 14:20

She's been whinging about people dropping contact with her. I'd remind her of that and explain you're personally dropping contact because she's a thieving bitch.

Sweatinglikeabitch · 21/07/2022 14:20

justawoman93 · 21/07/2022 08:08

She had it for three weeks and sold it. It's not like she had it for months on end.

Jesus christ! I wouldn't even ask her for the money she got for it. I'd tell her he needs to buy you a new one.
Honestly with such little time I'd think she's deliberately asked for it with the intent of selling it.

momtoboys · 21/07/2022 14:24

This is one of the cheekiest things I have ever heard. Tell her you will be reporting the theft to the authorities and you don't give a rip about her holiday.