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AIBU?

Friend not speaking to me because I eat eggs

312 replies

Upthebracket22 · 19/07/2022 13:18

I am a lifelong veggie- my parents were 70’s hippies & so I have never eaten meat and was raised vegetarian & I don’t eat dairy either but I am not a vegan as I eat eggs - I find I need the protein & generally benefit from eating them.

my friend turned vegan last year and is really militant- sends me horrible videos of baby chicks having their heads cut off etc. i asked her to stop as it was upsetting & I didn’t feel I needed to justify my dietary choices to anyone and now she’s stopped speaking to me. Says she finds it difficult to engage with anyone who eats animal products.

Aibu to feel upset and also a bit like- go & try to covert some meat eaters if that’s your thing but preaching to the converted anyway - I am already trying my best and have had over 40 years of not eating animals - she’s had a year of it. She’s used language like murderer to me etc.

I do feel really upset about it all to be honest.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Pasithea · 19/07/2022 23:37

LisbonKid · 19/07/2022 20:35

And the male birds? What happens to them hmmmm? 🧐

Errr what male birds. My cockerel will live his life out on our land and receive any veterinary help , pallative, end of life care he needs.

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pastypirate · 19/07/2022 23:48

@Bc155 I'm fully aware it's true.

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pastypirate · 19/07/2022 23:49

But wait. I've also been told true vegans don't eat anything pollonized by bees.

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CloseYourEyesAndSee · 20/07/2022 05:23

pastypirate · 19/07/2022 23:49

But wait. I've also been told true vegans don't eat anything pollonized by bees.

Who told you that?
Bees are involved in pollinating certain plants but that's their natural function. Being vegan doesn't mean avoiding all aspects of the animal/food chain/ecosystem.
however, there is an issue with bees being exploited to pollinate almond crops especially in the US which is something that should concern vegans.

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Cognacsoft · 20/07/2022 07:27

LisbonKid · 19/07/2022 20:34

But..she is 100% correct.
maybe you are upset because she has touched a nerve.
chicken and egg production is cruel, you are a hypocrite .
poor cows etc but happy to scoff products from an equally cruel practice.

OP may not be a hypocrite.
Some veggies don't eat meat for their own health, it's not always about saving animals.

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PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 07:54

@CloseYourEyesAndSee I think @pastypirate is taking the piss. Best not to bite.

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PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 08:08

If you look at the definition of vegetarian and vegan (not just food but not wearing animal leather etc) I would argue a number of posters on here calling themselves vegetarian and vegan are really just plant based + diet followers.

I'm an atheist who was christened as a child. Technically you could call me a Christian. But I wouldn't dream of telling a true follower of that religion that I am.

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KittenKong · 20/07/2022 08:21

Whose definition? I know a ‘vegetarian’ who ate lamb in a restaurant because she didn’t fancy the veggie option.

🙄

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HouseInTheHills · 20/07/2022 08:28

KittenKong · 20/07/2022 08:21

Whose definition? I know a ‘vegetarian’ who ate lamb in a restaurant because she didn’t fancy the veggie option.

🙄

Then she isn’t vegetarian.

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iloveeverykindofcat · 20/07/2022 08:29

@KittenKong I think the generally accepted definition of veganism is to abstain from utilizing animal products as far as practically possible. I would never deliberately use an animal product and I don't think I'd buy one for another person, though I haven't really been tested on that in any real way. But if I accidentally use or ingest one due to say, a misunderstanding, I don't imagine I lose my membership of some imaginary club.

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onlythreenow · 20/07/2022 08:51

I wouldn't want a friend like that. Friends can have differing opinions, but they should respect each other's decisions. There is no need to lecture someone on their food choices. She sounds like a right pain and I would be blocking her.

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BusyMum47 · 20/07/2022 08:55

Ditch her - she sounds batshit!

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RaggedBlousedPhilanthropist · 20/07/2022 09:20

The videos are used to shock.

Many things that happen in this world are unpleasant.

Its the same thing that pro-life protesters do when displaying pictures of aborted foetuses as an argument against abortion.

However, sending people distressing images, even if they depict true happenings, can be an offence, so a gentle warning that she could end up on the wrong side of the law if she sends these things to people unsolicited might be in order.

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Eightiesfan · 20/07/2022 09:25

Unfortunately, this is not uncommon with people who have made life choices, whether it’s becoming vegan, stopping smoking or finding religion. For some reason they think it’s their job to police everyone else’s choices if these choices do not fit in with their own personal narrative.

It’s not your job to validate their choices, and I don’t think I would remain friends with anyone who uses these tactics as a means of control.

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PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 10:18

Thanks @KittenKong for confirming my point with your 'vegetarian' friend who eats lamb. What is lamb? The clue's in the name.

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ILikeHotWaterBottles · 20/07/2022 10:29

Remind her of all the cows, chickens, pigs etc that she has eaten since she was born, and that she can be high and mighty once she's done 40 years of no meat eating and being a vegan. Then block her.

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Vikinga · 20/07/2022 10:36

Ffs. She's out of order and you know it. All these type of threads do is put people off and think of vegans as extreme. Vegans think it is extreme to torture and kills living beings but most don't go around judging or blocking non vegans.

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KittenKong · 20/07/2022 10:51

PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 10:18

Thanks @KittenKong for confirming my point with your 'vegetarian' friend who eats lamb. What is lamb? The clue's in the name.

You’d think she’d know (being a vet and all).

She announced she was now a veggie at the restaurant, and made a big fuss about asking the waiter about everything on the menu (asking ‘can this be veggie?’).

She realised that the one veggie option on the menu wasn’t great (I had it and it was pretty horrible) then plumped for the lamb. The waiter did look a bit 😳 and her husband was really embarrassed.

Funnily enough i was out for dinner recently and the table next to us had a vegan (he mentioned it quite a few times - loudly and was being a bit show-offy to the others at the table who were all ‘how do you manage to eat out?’ ‘You are so disciplined’ ‘must be so hard’). He then ordered the paneer. Hmmmm.

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PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 11:05

Sounds like virtue signalling to me @KittenKong!

It's always tricky at restaurants because unless you specifically say vegan many of them would dump dairy cheese etc onto stuff. I even got asked once if I wanted black pudding with my vegan breakfast 😂 I think she just said it out of habit.

It's good when the vegan meals are on their own separate menu and you don't have to keep repeating the word. It's actually embarrassing to vegans I know to have to say the V word because you get accused of going on about it. It's getting better now, especially for people with food allergies, now there's more awareness. It's those I feel most sorry for when mistakes are made.

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hesttreat · 20/07/2022 11:49

*Whose definition? I know a ‘vegetarian’ who ate lamb in a restaurant because she didn’t fancy the veggie option.
*
🙄

Dear god!

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Just4today · 20/07/2022 11:53

@KittenKong i wonder did he think paneer is the same as tofu? Or he was just an arse!

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PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 12:02

I have seen tofu 'paneer' on menus before so he could have been confused. But if he was being an arse i would say it's perfectly fine for staff to point out it has dairy in it. I just don't see the point really. It's liking announcing you're tea total then ordering the Prosecco. Who are you impressing?

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Confusion101 · 20/07/2022 12:03

PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 11:05

Sounds like virtue signalling to me @KittenKong!

It's always tricky at restaurants because unless you specifically say vegan many of them would dump dairy cheese etc onto stuff. I even got asked once if I wanted black pudding with my vegan breakfast 😂 I think she just said it out of habit.

It's good when the vegan meals are on their own separate menu and you don't have to keep repeating the word. It's actually embarrassing to vegans I know to have to say the V word because you get accused of going on about it. It's getting better now, especially for people with food allergies, now there's more awareness. It's those I feel most sorry for when mistakes are made.

Surely if vegans had their own separate menu that would just highlight it even more... "oh sorry waiter can I get the Vegan menu off you please?"
A lot of restaurants I've been to have the vegetarian dishes followed by vegan dishes, or else mention in brackets how a dish can be made veggie / vegan friendly!
🍳🍗💕

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PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 13:37

@Confusion101 they usually ask you at the door if you want one so no, I don't agree with that about the menu.

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PoseyFlump · 20/07/2022 13:39

Dang I forgot to use my dick emojis.

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