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AIBU?

Friend not speaking to me because I eat eggs

312 replies

Upthebracket22 · 19/07/2022 13:18

I am a lifelong veggie- my parents were 70’s hippies & so I have never eaten meat and was raised vegetarian & I don’t eat dairy either but I am not a vegan as I eat eggs - I find I need the protein & generally benefit from eating them.

my friend turned vegan last year and is really militant- sends me horrible videos of baby chicks having their heads cut off etc. i asked her to stop as it was upsetting & I didn’t feel I needed to justify my dietary choices to anyone and now she’s stopped speaking to me. Says she finds it difficult to engage with anyone who eats animal products.

Aibu to feel upset and also a bit like- go & try to covert some meat eaters if that’s your thing but preaching to the converted anyway - I am already trying my best and have had over 40 years of not eating animals - she’s had a year of it. She’s used language like murderer to me etc.

I do feel really upset about it all to be honest.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Devora13 · 20/07/2022 20:44

@PonyPatter44

I was really hoping that this would be a situation where your friend was actually a chicken...

🤣

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CactusBlossom · 20/07/2022 20:49

I'm guessing you did not treat her this way! Does she wear wool and leather?
You need to consider your own health -- you can't help anyone if you are not well yourself. As you are a lifelong veggie I imagine you are choosing free-range eggs, not eggs from battery hens. You can only do your best. As you have been veggie for 40 years, she may be feeling guilty, but you really don't need her to guilt-trip you. YANBU.

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Annie202 · 20/07/2022 21:08

She is completely out of order. You are better off without this "friend".

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AhaLyn · 20/07/2022 21:13

The thing is this thread has descended into what you are all railing against so I kind of get why vegans get fed up.

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MyDogsTheBestDog · 20/07/2022 22:17

She is being VU. I eat predominantly vegan, but I always like to pick up 'backyard eggs' - when you're driving around rural villages and you see people selling eggs from their chickens in the back garden. Otherwise, those eggs would go to waste and I think it's completely ethical as they are often retired battery hens

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MyDogsTheBestDog · 20/07/2022 22:23

Islandgirl68 · 20/07/2022 20:24

Forgoodness sake, you don't have to kill anything to aquire an egg. So there is no harm to animals. So if people have hens are they just supposed to throw the eggs away. Sometimes people just take things to far. Also nothing wrong with wool, sheep need their wool shorn off or the get too hot in the summer and if it rains their wool gets too heavy. So ignore your friend and don't let them guilt you. Nothing wrong with eggs.

Not wishing to derail the thread and apathy for the OP, but male chicks are destroyed at birth as obviously can't produce eggs & egg laying hens destroyed at 18 months for subgrade food e.g. pet food. So there is absolutely slaughter in the egg industry, but this is a purely factual answer to your post and not an emotional blackmail one such as OP is experiencing

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Tomasinabombadil · 20/07/2022 22:49

Thebritisharecoming · 19/07/2022 13:22

Eugh militant born again Vegans are the worst. Sounds like telling her to stop or you will block her is the only option.
Your quite right - you don’t need to justify your dietary choices to anyone.

Totally agree, each to there own whether you’re vegetarian, vegan or an omnivore. Just don’t try to force your personal choices onto other people.

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Pookymalooky · 20/07/2022 22:55

Do you know what made me giggle on this thread?
an advert for a massive bucket of KFC chicken keeps popping up 🤣🤣

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Blueink · 21/07/2022 01:07

That is horrible & unnecessary, surprised you have put up with her behaviour as long as you have!

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XenoBitch · 21/07/2022 01:11

Tell your "friend" to fuck off. Born again vegans are the worst, and the most militant. It is like they are taking out their own guilt for eating meat previous to being vegan out on other people.

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Stilsmiling · 21/07/2022 01:55

Have you explained that for the many years that you felt passionate enough not to eat meat or dairy you also valued your friendship enough to not send her upsetting videos/information???

I totally understand why people are passionate about ethics and animal cruelty but surely being cruel and upsetting her human friends should be high on your friend’s list of priorities too??

True friends don’t behave like your “friend” is. I’m sure if you went through her house and belongings you could find an item or product that is manufactured by an unethical company (or parent company) that tests on animals. All of her household items aren’t likely to be vegan.

Its important to have boundaries for what behaviour we are prepared to accept, your friend needs to know that while you feel very positive about her new lifestyle you won’t tolerate her behaviour towards you any more. Compassion for animals should extend to compassion for humans also.

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user1478939671 · 21/07/2022 01:57

To be fair if you thought what you were doing was right you wouldn't be on here asking.

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sue20 · 21/07/2022 02:11

Upthebracket22 · 19/07/2022 13:25

Honestly- I don’t want it to be a vegan bashing thread at all as I get it- my mum has been vegan for 20 years - I just choose to eat eggs as I feel healthier on them and find I have more energy. My mum just takes a ‘do what you want’ approach & probably would have been fine with us eating meat growing up if we had asked but we never did. It’s just made me feel horrible

But in a way this isn’t about justifying what you eat it’s about her aggressive and childish way of relating to you. I wouldn’t feel there’s much going back from someone acting this way. Sorry she’s chosen to stop speaking to you that would be my point at which I let the “friendship” go. But obviously I don’t know what is good about your friendship.

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gregaliara · 21/07/2022 04:35

You need kind, good, committed friends in your life, you deserve NOTHING LESS.
So as a very mature citizen I ask does she meet that standard, could she EVER meet that standard. In these challenging times YOU need that requirement to be met, if someone cant meet that requirement, without anger, you need to politely advise them to move on. When that is done you can be proud of yourself. Best wishes

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DadBodAlready · 21/07/2022 06:45

Drop her, if she can't deal with your life choices that's her problem.
She is one of the reasons why the world is so f**d up because she refuses to engage or befriend anyone who has a differing point of view or belief system from her - She's not worth it.

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PoseyFlump · 21/07/2022 08:15

Just to clear up the confusion on this thread saying eggs involve no cruelty or don't if come from a certain source.

Some breeds of chicken are distinguishable by sex when they hatch. Sometimes the males are a different colour or may have stripes on their backs. The females and males are separated at this point and the male chicks killed.

It doesn't matter if you buy eggs from a small or organic or free range source. All their female chicks will be sourced in this way.

Some vegans find rescue hens eggs as acceptable but in a way you are still supporting the egg industry and the destruction of the male chicks even if the adult females are being saved and given a good life. There's no kind answer I'm afraid.

Having said that the OPs friend should not have sent videos to her. But if the OP is a vegetarian then she should already know about the cruelty of the egg industry and I question her motivation for starting this thread.

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TibetanTerrah · 21/07/2022 08:44

Carpy88999 · 19/07/2022 17:56

It's not true at all. There are plenty of alternatives to meat and dairy, let's not pretend it's the nutritional value, you like the taste! So did I.

Cheese yes, but I wouldn't say i actually like meat. The texture grosses me out and anything with bones makes me very aware I've just eaten an animal carcass.

I was trying to lose weight (just about there now) and low carbing. It's very, very difficult to get a variety of low carb, high protein meals without including meat. pulses are too high carb, as are nuts, and look at the vegetarian freezer section in the supermarket and it's very disappointing.

I do eaten vegetarian food, I'm actually dating a pescatarian and never eat meat when we're out, but it's disingenuous to accuse me of just liking the taste when it's more complex than that.

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sueelleker · 21/07/2022 08:51

I've probably missed something here, but I thought most eggs were unfertilised, so you'd never get chicks anyway? Please don't all jump on me if I've misunderstood.

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PoseyFlump · 21/07/2022 09:02

@sueelleker please see my post just two down from yours about the male chicks. You're talking about the eggs from the female chickens but how do you think they get the female hens to begin with?

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4kids2cats · 21/07/2022 09:06

YANBU My daughter is vegan and went through a brief stage of calling eggs “chicken abortions” and all that but I told her to stop it as it was offensive and unnecessary. Her sister is a vegetarian and we eat a lot of veggie and vegan stuff at home but I wasn’t having that sort of talk. I think tell your friend to stop it or you won’t be spending time with her any more - it’s totally unacceptable.

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eastegg · 21/07/2022 10:16

TiddleyWink · 19/07/2022 13:50

‘Dear friend, I understand that your extreme behaviour is a mark of the guilt you’re feeling for eating meat and animal products for the last forty years instead of being at least veggie like me, but I find the content you’re sending me very offensive and upsetting. Perhaps make peace with your carnivorous past and calm the fuck down you twisted weirdo’.

Then block.

This is perfect 😂

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MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 21/07/2022 10:29

My daughter is vegan and went through a brief stage of calling eggs “chicken abortions”

I'm glad it was brief. I could listen to that kind of nonsensical shizz for very long from someone I lived with!

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MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 21/07/2022 10:29

*couldn't

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PoseyFlump · 21/07/2022 11:30

I think it's more accurate to call them chicken periods rather than abortions.

The fact is most of us bury our head in the sand about something we find disturbing. Like the fact one day we will die. Puts a real damper on life!

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Topsyturveymam · 21/07/2022 11:42

I’ve been a vegetarian /mainly vegan since being very young - 5 years old. I live in a family of meat eaters and never felt the need to lecture them or others on their choices.
I do get bored of some of the ‘new’ vegans who feel the need to lecture me and others…

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