Just seen a guy I am seeing holding hands with another girl

[Topcat9876]

First time poster.
Long time lurker.
need a bit of a hand hold really.

I am 35 year old never married and childess woman

just as the subject says really
met a guy on Bumble in April - great dates and chat and was due to see him again this week. We slept together after a couple of months.

I just tested positive for covid and had to come to wfh early - I work in health care so in work 12 hour shifts until at least 7/8. He stays quite close to me. I drove home at 2pm. As I drove up my road To home I seen him and he was holding hands with a woman. He seen me (he knows my car) and he just had a blank expression on his face.

obviously I will never be meeting up with him again but AIBU to just block him or should I say something? What a waste of time. Feel stupid being upset and having a little cry.

I am at the stage of giving up humiliating myself by even trying to date. I always seem to be a second choice or a comedy shag for men.

Opp typo! sorry I meant "I wouldn't call him, I would call her"

@Stravaig I have never ever held hands in the street with a "previous partner". Nobody I know has ever done this. In fact, I doubt anyone anyone knows has actually done this apart from in your head.

Yes I would have a long conversation with her on the phone so she knows what type of man she's dating.

I would say that is one of the many reasons why I left online dating: too many men will simply date several women at the same time and have no intention to commit.

Unless you had clearly discussed not dating anyone else and being exclusive you unfortunately can't assume that he was only seeing you.

At least you have now found him out. I would not even bother to say anything. Just block/delete and move on.

Is he called Ross?

Report him to The App, get a STD test, find his wife and grass him up. He is a predator and his poor wife/Partner needs to know.
I am so sorry OP

Practice Nurse

Don’t bother engaging in talks just block. You’ll only get excuses or the truth (not exclusive or cheating).

The universe was definitely looking out for you here, so be ready for the amazing thing to happen next! Clearly the universe had to get rid of him to facilitate the next step.

I dont have him on the app anymore as he ummatched me when we met saying he doesnt like using and it and feels its not the best way to meet people

(Probably as he already has someone and had no intention of really meeting anymore)

He blocked me first anyway 😉

He has already blocked me preventing me from partaking in any of this anyway

More signs of him being guilty AF really

🫠

He sounds like a complete waste of space and a user.

From past experience very good looking (even good looking) men tend to be trouble, I've dated them!

Meanwhile, back in the real world...

I agree - as if I had not seen that I would have met him this week and so the charade of unknowingly be another woman would have continued 🔥

I mean what are the chances?
He was literally at the end of my road waiting to cross the street and looked straight at me in the middle of the day.
It was meant that I could not miss him.

As I said in PP if I had just tested for COVID three seconds earlier I would have missed him 🙂

@Stravaig
It can be in some cultures I agree but he was a straight man holding hands with a slim pretty brunette and looking very comfortable with her

I'm surprised he didn't look for an affair partner further afield than a couple of streets away if he had a wife/long term partner. What an arrogant chap. It's a shame he went down the instant block route as I'd have loved to hear his attempt at excuses!

You are taking it well. It’s definitely him, not you. Don’t let it affect your self esteem.

I always tend to look at the glass half full, you're lucky it happened only 3 months into the relationship and not one year when you could have been much more invested emotionally.

Good riddance, and keep in mind he's going to do the same thing to the "attractive slim brunette"...

You know where he lives, though? Are you sure he lives alone? (Apologies if I'm talking nonsense - I've only read bit of the thread). Hand hold for OP, though

But if she lives abroad it wouldnt make much difference - also with my career he could be certain (except on days like yesterday) I am never in the city - I usually spend weekends away camping and hiking so barely ever in my own flat. So probably one of the reasons I made for good OW 'picking' - I am also incredibly independent and would not think twice if a guy did not text me all day etc.

Bloody hell. If a man is walking down the street holding hands with a woman the odds are overwhelmingly that they're a couple.

No wonder so many men get away with cheating when it seems like you could walk in on your bloke fucking another woman on the kitchen table and someone would suggest maybe he's a gynaecologist giving her a pelvic exam. 🙄

OP, even if he looked cool as a cucumber I bet he absolutely shit himself when he saw you. Good.

@drawacircleroundit
Yep - I have been to his flat - BUT (and here we go with hindsight again) - after about four weeks or so he asked to come to mines instead of his for the evening; this was due to the 'mess' which was in his flat. I did have an odd feeling at that time.

Once when I was at his I seen a vast array of multivitamins in the kitchen (I mean overkill) - he then said he had a flatmate (he had not mentioned this before) and that they belonged to HIM. Skin, hair and nails multivitamins etc. He said his flatmate was someone he knew from his work abroad who also worked similarly to him and would lodge at his on a as required basis. Obviously this is the partner who flies over.

I mean the way this guy so skillfully lied is quite scary and I am actually relieved he has blocked me on all platforms. Heaven help the poor long term partner. 🥺

I'm sorry this happened to you. Silver lining is that you found out sooner rather than later.

But if he stays near you be prepared that the chances are you will bump into him again 😬

Well I am blocked everywhere this morning so I have provoked some sort of emotional reaction.