Just seen a guy I am seeing holding hands with another girl

[Topcat9876]

First time poster.
Long time lurker.
need a bit of a hand hold really.

I am 35 year old never married and childess woman

just as the subject says really
met a guy on Bumble in April - great dates and chat and was due to see him again this week. We slept together after a couple of months.

I just tested positive for covid and had to come to wfh early - I work in health care so in work 12 hour shifts until at least 7/8. He stays quite close to me. I drove home at 2pm. As I drove up my road To home I seen him and he was holding hands with a woman. He seen me (he knows my car) and he just had a blank expression on his face.

obviously I will never be meeting up with him again but AIBU to just block him or should I say something? What a waste of time. Feel stupid being upset and having a little cry.

I am at the stage of giving up humiliating myself by even trying to date. I always seem to be a second choice or a comedy shag for men.

Just to be devils advocate here but are you actually in a relationship with this guy? At any point have you agreed not to see other people?

Unfortunately in todays dating society it seems people date people until they decide to be exclusive or start a relationship.

When I met my partner we didn't become an official couple for a few months until we knew it's what we both wanted. After a Few dates and when we both knew we liked each other we decided not to see other people and took it from there but as shit as it is, and it is shit, have you made this choices together and have you both discussed not seeing other people?
I can't see him being on your street if you are exclusive and or in a relationship as he is cheating so would get caught. And if that is the case he is a jerk!

Personally I would discuss it like an adult with him. Do you have feelings you want to Perdue, does her? Is he seeing other people and if so does he have feelings for them (I know if that was the case I'd end it there and then to save heart ache)
But until you talk together you won't know the situation.

If you are "together" and he has cheated then he is an absolute arse and you deserve better!!

@Kanaloa
I am so glad I seen him
He would never have expected me as I have seen him after work a few times and be knows I leave about 7 - not getting back into the city until half seven / eight. He knows I work Monday through Thursday and knew I would have been it work

It was just so mad coincedence On the only day I have had to work from home he was at the end of my street - the Universe works in weird ways

No exclusive talk
Just assumed

@Topcat9876 after seeing your last post before I posted mine I see red flags! Maybe chat to him see what he says and if you still aren't happy walk away with your head held high!

Btw I hope you are feeling ok and covid passes quickly for you xx

I frequently kiss and hug and hold hands with a friend of mine. He's gay. So fairly sure there's nothing going on.

You may be right, but why not just face up to this and ask him?

Unfortunately it's common practice to date various people until exclusive especially when using dating apps as the chances are he is on more than one so chatting to various women until he commits to one
(I don't get this tbh and glad my oh feels the same! We kept it simple)

I would say nothing but don’t block. See if he makes excuses or turns up like nothing happened.

I'd block him immediately, I wouldnt give him the satisfaction of blocking me first (which he probably will do). No good can come from talking to him (this way madness lies).

I'd just ignore him completely

Just let it go, that is the most dignified approach. You're worth so much more than him so hold your head high and move on. After this experience maybe think about questions to ask and boundaries to shore up before dating again. Good luck.

Think thats what I will do to be fair. Clearly doesnt like me much 😂 doubt he would waste his texting or calling time messaging a subordinate like me when he has someone

Shame you didn't think to pull up alongside them but you were probably in shock. I wouldntgive him the satisfaction of knowing you were upset by it. What a dickhead.

Also I'm sorry you are going through this, I was dating someone and 5 months I woke up blocked on all platforms and his Facebook profile was a picture of him with another woman. Some men just suck.

Delete, block and move on. Don't give this man any more headspace. You deserve better.

Also I'm sorry you are going through this, I was dating someone and 5 months I woke up blocked on all platforms and his Facebook profile was a picture of him with another woman. Some men just suck.

This man doesn't have anything to say that you need to hear. I would block immediately and move on.

Awh he is a pig.

That is so shit I am sorry
🤕

Ghost the turd.

Onwards and upwards.

You need a man not a stupid little boy.

I was thinking it was a shame you didn't pull up in your beautiful convertible and say Hi Tom is our date for Wednesday still on? Just so that girl knows what kind of guy he is. He has some cheek walking along your street.

Wish I had thought quicker to be fair.
To be honest I think I was too much for him - he kept mentioning I was more successful and busier than him etc

He stays a few streets away but I suspect he would have thought I was at work - I am always in work usually so he probably thought there was no chance

Ugh. Block and ignore

I was getting friendly with a guy who was going through a divorce, he then said he had to focus on sorting divorce out so may not be in contact much. Fine, I agreed he should get himself and ex sorted.

4 months later (the odd text now and again) and I looked on his sister's FB to see pics of his wedding the month before 😂why people can't just be honest I have no idea

So he was getting married again whilst getting a divorce?!? He sounds like hes had more rings than sonic