Just seen a guy I am seeing holding hands with another girl

[Topcat9876]

First time poster.
Long time lurker.
need a bit of a hand hold really.

I am 35 year old never married and childess woman

just as the subject says really
met a guy on Bumble in April - great dates and chat and was due to see him again this week. We slept together after a couple of months.

I just tested positive for covid and had to come to wfh early - I work in health care so in work 12 hour shifts until at least 7/8. He stays quite close to me. I drove home at 2pm. As I drove up my road To home I seen him and he was holding hands with a woman. He seen me (he knows my car) and he just had a blank expression on his face.

obviously I will never be meeting up with him again but AIBU to just block him or should I say something? What a waste of time. Feel stupid being upset and having a little cry.

I am at the stage of giving up humiliating myself by even trying to date. I always seem to be a second choice or a comedy shag for men.

I think men who block you when things aren't going their way/want sex are definite players.

Over lockdown was messaging a man briefly from a dating site, all set to meet up then he says he's anti vaxx and anti masks. So doesn't want to meet and is quite rude and blocks me almost immediately. But then he says he's had a few women come to his place and be strange when leaving and he was also planning to move back to where he was from - Edinburgh. Makes total sense that he's a player!

I would soooo totally find out who that long time partner is and give her a call, but that's just the cunt in me looking for revenge plus the need to warn other women. Then course they could be in an open relationship but he should have informed you about it in the beginning. No excuse.

did that man say anything like you are the only one he is seeing?

btw i dont condone seducers, players.

He wasnt called Jon was he?!

Nope - but it appeared so. Anyway its done now - the sun is shining and I have my job wfh paying my bills. I can afford pain killers and to order in a healthy lunch whilst having covid and I have friends and family messaging me to see how I am with the covid. Thats more than most people ❤️

Yes when a guy blocks you (I just drove past him with his partner) its more a silent admission really. He knew I knew and that was it. Games a boagie. 🙈

I wonder how long he would have let it go on for if I had not seen him.

One of my friends dated a guy like this for one year until she found out he was married. she is a psychologist etc so I would have thought if anyone can read people it would be her.

No! Ed!

Whenever men block you, yes, generally they're either cheating or just want to move on.

Funnily enough, I don't think this man was cheating (will never know), but he was ex Para (saw photo of him in uniform so was true!) and was a PT who wanted to start his own gym. Not that good looking though! He certainly wanted to 'keep his options open'.

Sorry this man's done this to you but count yourself lucky you found out now really. Not surprised you're angry.

OP, I'm so sorry this has happened, its all really unpleasant

I agree with this. I went to a singles event and the most eligible bachelor on paper came across amazingly well on a first meeting. At the end of the night when we were leaving I noticed him skulking around a couple of drunk out their face woman in the corner and buying them drinks. If I had not seen that you would have thought he was a 'nice guy' on first presentation.

I barely use the apps in all fairness as this is a huge proportion of their behaviour I and my friends have came across fairly regularly. Bumble is the only online dating app you can set to incognito (handy for my work) so I am going to stick with that one for now. I wonder if I will meet a man at my stitching class this weekend 😂😂

For the posters going on about exclusivity talks etc., the fact that he blanked op and then blocked her on everything when seen demonstrates that he suspects was very much aware of how she saw/he let her see/what the deal was supposec to be with their involvement. He's acted like someone caught out, not someone who didn't know what the expectations/understanding was.

Men know the majority of women, esp those of typical.eettling age, would not be having sex regularly without the understanding/expectation of a relationship that could go somewhere.

So they're essentially a type of scammed.
Scammed people are angry, he knows that; that's rhe reason.for the preemptive block

*scammer

This.

Sending you hugs, as I know what he's done will feel like pure shit.
But you will come out of this- and on the other side something or someone far more deserving of you will be waiting.

Hindsight is such a gift, you've learnt something you are worth better, move on. I've never heard of bumble, been off the dating scene a few years. I met someone through an expensive paid site, 2 weeks after I paid for 3 years lol. But he's worth it.

The universe works in mysterious ways. Many years ago I was dating a guy who was living with his aunt, saving for a deposit on a flat. I couldn’t visit him there as she was against mixed race relationships and wouldn’t allow me in the house, but I did stay with him at friends’ places several times and often went out with him and his friends, so it didn’t seem so strange somehow…. How naive was I?!

I took my mum for a medical one day and spotted his car a few houses down, over an hour away from both his work and where his aunt lived. I dropped mum off and called him, just as he came out to his car with a heavily pregnant woman who drove off as he waved. He immediately called me back saying he had to be quick as he was at work, so I said, ‘that’s odd, I swear you’re just over the road from me!’. His face was a picture as he turned round and saw me!

Found out later they’d been together 8 years, were engaged and she was expecting their third child. He’d cheated on her 4 times previously…. 🤦🏼‍♀️

@BEXY39 so true about the universe. What a shock though 8 years!!

You dodged a bullet there, darling. Good luck.

Does he have a twin? Most men, not all, are a lying waste of time. Get a sperm donor and have a child, and treat guys how they treat us! Only good for one thing. But in our case-money!

I hope you give him some shit for this. Guys like this must love it when we just disappear with zero accountability after being such dicks with no redress. He’ll do it again and again and all the time experiencing an increased belief that it is acceptable and that he is beyond reproach.

they give the sense of exclusivity but not say in words.
so if a woman confronts them they arent in the fault. they even can say 'she was on to me'.

They just call women mental if called out, I think it's often pointless to do so as true arseholes really don't care what women they hurt think about them so calling them out has no effect other than re-engaging with a wanker.

Ask him to explain first.

I've twice been thought to be cheating because the boyfriend at the time jumped to a conclusion. Luckily both times they gave me the chance to explain.

One time a female friend had a row with her husband, drove to mine at midnight and kipped on my sofa, leaving her 750cc motorbike in my front garden. He assumed it was a bloke sleeping with me.

Second time I was walking down the street when my gay male flat-mate came up behind me and grabbed my hand playfully, and we walked along for maybe 20 or 30 seconds hand in hand. Boyfriend's sister saw me and told him I was cheating.

I'm just saying, don't throw away a perfectly good relationship because of what might turn out to be a misunderstanding.

Please start a kinder dialogue with yourself ASAP. Kick him to the curb and celebrate having enough self respect to not put up with nonsense. It worked until it didn’t, you did something about it. Next….! Or kick back and chill. Don’t define yourself by relationship status or how you think men see you. They are for the most part far to shallow to be given the responsibility of your value. X

You can't ask for an explanation from someone who immediately blocks you.