To be annoyed with MIL

[LeafHunter]

DHs family always go away each year. It’s him, his four siblings and everyone’s partners and children. We’re going on 2nd august.

MIL had just text to say she’s tested positive for Covid and so has cancelled the family holiday. She said she can’t guarantee she will be testing negative by then. FIL is negative currently.

Im annoyed as we’ve booked all flights, car hire etc. PIL pay for the villa and we all pay for the rest. This is widely out of character for them.

How utterly selfish of them.

They can cancel and claim back their costs but everyone else is expected to eat the cost of flights etc?

Terrible.

Maybe covid has fuzzied her brain and made her temporarily illogical and knee jerk.

My mum had a UTI the other week and I was convinced she had developed dementia but now she's better she's back to being not mad

It does sound very much like a knee jerk reaction on MILs part. I very much doubt they'd get anything from their insurance based on current circumstances.

I'd ask the stupid cow to reimburse you for all the money you have lost. What a stupid, inconsiderate arsehole. Selfish twat.

Perhaps while doing so her husband and husband's siblings can offer to reimburse her PILs for 10 years of subsidized holidays.

I do hope OP is busily booking some lovely apartment or little villa just for her family so that they can not lose ££££ on the flights and car hire.

Exactly this. They’ve had a pretty good innings, after all.

Perhaps while doing so her husband and husband's siblings can offer to reimburse her PILs for 10 years of subsidized holidays

since when did accepting a gift tie someone into a contract where they stand to lose money at a later date on a different arrangement on the whim of the donor?

It doesn’t . Simple as..

the holidays are organised in such a way because that’s the way the PILs wanted it! From the sounds of this woman they dare not arrange their own separate holidays away from her.

I’m sure all the spouses of the children are feeling pissed about this and rightly so.

Hmm, I bet the list of people inviting you on holiday is really short.

MiL sounds bonkers regarding this holiday but OP says it's out of character. 9 subsidised holidays and 1 blow out and her family still come out as winners financially, and there is nothing to stop them booking some sort of accommodation at short notice so flights etc aren't wasted.

MIL sounds like she's playing favourites and/or incredibly selfish.

I'd be reluctant to ever want to go on another 'family' holiday again if she was in charge of booking everything. She's done that.

I think your DH needs to explain how much non refundable money has been spent on flights etc. The in laws don’t have to pay for the villa but she is totally unreasonable in saying you can’t book your own accommodation.

If it was me I’d book a hotel or apartment and go anyway.

there is nothing to stop them booking some sort of accommodation at short notice so flights etc aren't wasted.

You mean apart from the fact that MiL has "begged" them not to and at least 2 of the other families can't afford to book school holiday period accommodation 2 weeks in advance?

This is a controlling stand off. Do what suits you. Or do as you are told.
Do what's right for you and your family. Good luck

Two weeks is plenty of time to recover from covid. Is there anything else going on. I would have a word with her and ask why has everyone else got to back out. Let her know how you feel could someone take her place as I can imagine she’s already paid or has she definitely cancelled. Let us know how you get on

I’m not being funny but if she’s testing positive now, she won’t be still contagious on the 2nd of flipping August. Even if your FIL started testing positive in the next 2-3 days, it’s 7-9 days max and you’re clear again. So, they would be clear by August 2nd.

What’s the issue?

How’s your MIL feeling? How are her symptoms? She could be really scared because of the number of Covid deaths when this all started.

Yes I mean apart from that, because those are not "reasonable " reasons.

Is your MIL hiding something?

Have they offered to reimburse you for the flights?

I don't even believe this 100% true. There's no way grown ups wouldn't try to think of other solutions.

How in gods name is two families not having the funds to unexpectedly pay for two weeks accommodation with 10 days notice not a ‘reasonable’ reason.

Not everyone has ££ just sitting around to pay for stuff like that they weren’t expecting to.

I do not understand why she’s begging everyone to not go ahead anyway. She must realise they’re going to lose so much money they cannot afford to throw away? Has she lost her fucking mind?

Fil needs to man up and tell mil that he's paying for another villa so no one loses their holiday and flight money due to her selfish behaviour

He’s already suggested a compromise. Nobody has to lose their money.

Lying isn't something the op wants to do. I wouldn't either so shit compromise