To be annoyed with MIL

[LeafHunter]

DHs family always go away each year. It’s him, his four siblings and everyone’s partners and children. We’re going on 2nd august.

MIL had just text to say she’s tested positive for Covid and so has cancelled the family holiday. She said she can’t guarantee she will be testing negative by then. FIL is negative currently.

Im annoyed as we’ve booked all flights, car hire etc. PIL pay for the villa and we all pay for the rest. This is widely out of character for them.

It’s SO out of character for her that I also feel something is going on. I’ve just had a quick look and there is nothing that we could afford 1/5 of (and then it gets complicated about who pays what amount etc!)

I would be very annoyed!!

How does she think all her grandchildren will feel, and why would she want all her children to lose their money?! (Your dh needs to ask her this when he calls!)

She should have had a family conversation first, not just cancelled

I get she's gutted if she can't go but she's got a couple of weeks yet

Seems an odd choice.

Can't you find other accomodation and go?

Do you know who the villa is booked with? I would call them and explain and ask them to uncancel…you can always cancel again if everyone says they can’t afford it.

Bloody Hell OP - that is a real dick move. If she is not normally like this then maybe you are correct in that there is something else going on.

Otherwise she has left the rest of the family in the lurch because MAYBE she cant go because of covid. Your DH definitely needs to have a talk and see what is going on. If it is just the holiday and covid, and nothing else then I would be reluctant to agree to anything similar again.

Could it be an unsubtle way of her showing you all how expensive these holidays are and that you should be paying for yourselves?

I'd be furious - sounds like if she can't go she doesn't want anyone to go which is a shitty attitude. Book something for yourselves and go and have a lovely time. When she has a word with herself and tries to rebook at a later date tell her you've had your holiday and won't be coming

I hope there isn't some other more sinister health thing going on here.
Can you book just for your family unit?
I would not put myself in this position again.

Silly woman! I would be very annoyed at that.

It is still a couple of weeks away. She is highly likely to be negative by then, and even if not, she could have let everyone else go. She could probably have joined you later.

I do still think you could all club together to find alternative accommodation.

That’s really crap of her. I can understand her wanting her money back if she can’t go, but to just cancel the villa without discussing it with you all is really out of order.

How is she feeling? If she feels very ill maybe the holiday is the least of her worries.

Which Spanish island? I'd just book yourselves a hotel apartmet or air bnb quickly.

Do not ever ever go on holiday with them again.

Unless she actually has a serious health issue and is covering up with covid she has been very unfair. She could have asked you all to pay your own share if she didn't want to pay for you to go without her.

well you need one bedroom less without mil, so look for a smaller villas.

I would never, ever book another holiday with her, that's for certain. Fool me once and all that. I'd be furious if I were you.

Must surely be something more this, given the context and background. Hope your DH can have a sensible conversation and get to the bottom of it. Perhaps it is all getting a bit too much for them and the +/ve covid test tipped the balance.

Does she realise you will won't get any money back for the stuff you have already paid out for?

No normal person would just cancel a holiday for everyone if they are the only person that cant go. Yes its a shame she cant go but she should have just done the honourable thing and let everyone else carry on as they were. Why ruin the fun for everyone.

I would do what you can afford with those who can afford to join you and NEVER book with MIL again. How selfish to cancel a holiday without consultation which means that 5 other families loose their holiday, and holiday money. I'd be furious!

Why can't you go without her - or her join later? Seems a bit selfish.

She hasn’t secured the booking or she hasn’t paid the balance or something like that but doesn’t want to say.

Or money problems that you don’t know about.

I would absolutely ask does she need your bank details for her to reimburse you for all your wasted costs or does she already have them? Can she please do that this afternoon so you can book an alternative holiday. Then sit back and wait.

There definitely sounds like there's something more to this. Anyone who's in a logical brain space wouldn't make that decision without discussion. Maybe there's significant covid anxiety or a financial situation they don't want to disclose?

That's incredibly selfish of her - what is she like usually?

Very odd behaviour, not even consulting anyone. She will be negative long before then. Probably another reason. I’d book a hotel

Very "If i'm not going then no one else is either" innit !