Wedding invite- what should I do?

[Daisy0530]

Me and my boyfriend have been invited to his best friends wedding. (they’ve been friends since they were kids). Unfortunately due to them living so far away and also covid I haven’t had an opportunity to meet him yet. I have been with my boyfriend 2.5 years so I would consider us to be an established couple.

We will need to book a hotel to stay in due to the wedding being over an hour away from where we live. We received the invites and I have only been invited to the evening reception and my bf the full day. I can understand this as weddings are expensive and due to the fact we haven’t met however, this will mean I will be left alone at the hotel in a city I don’t know for 7-8 hours whilst my partner attends the wedding.

I am unsure how to feel about this and I am trying to see both perspectives, it’s their day after all. I must admit if it was my wedding I would likely have invited both as I would feel embarrassed not to. Should I just not attend to avoid any drama/arguments or should my boyfriend have a chat with his mate about it? I don’t want them to fall out but I feel a little off with the whole thing.

I don’t think OP has said she can’t “cope” or “survive” on her own for 7 hours. Of course she can. But it may not be how she wants to spend her time and money, especially if it’s not an especially nice location.

I hate splitting invitations like this. Either invite OP or don’t, or invite both to the evening, but I think a two tier invitation to a couple is rude.

You can't cope without a man? I feel very sorry for you. Life must be so hard always having to have a man with you at all times.

I’d go. I’ve seen this happen to 3 different friends this year and I think it’s due to Covid (people haven’t necessary had a chance to get to know the OH) and sometimes because it’s just really expensive per head and if you’re limited to say 80 people they’re not going to use one of those spaces on a person they’ve never met.

I’d go enjoy the new location and then turn up to the evening event as requested.

I find this so rude. You don't only invite half of a couple to the wedding.

I just find it a little awkward for a plus one to attend at separate time of the wedding

That's because its rude that they've not invited you to the whole thing.

For those saying it’s rude, plenty of couples have to make decisions with head counts to keep numbers in check and often it’s - have we met this person? I was talked into inviting a friends boyfriend to my wedding (he initially wasn’t invited as I’d never met him) and Lo behold a month later they had broken up. Not a big deal but there is a reason people draw lines at things. Weddings are expensive.

It being expensive doesn't mean people are entitled to be rude about it.

We had a friend who's partner we hadnt met, we made an effort to plan to see them and meet her before the wedding and of course we invited her.

I'm going to a wedding on saturday for a friend I've known years who has only met my husband once, she's invited him & our kids.

Such a bitchy reply. And also a load of bollocks!

Wow....

Are women incapable where you live?

And 'allow' his girlfriend...

Wow... Words fail me.

And if he is any type of man, he would not allow his girlfriend to be alone by herself in a strange place for 7 to 8 hours. No man would agree to tha

Where is this magical land you live in @Lola4321 ?

So my “man” doesn’t care because I do stuff on my own?

They're best friends. Your boyfriend could easily say hey mate, I've been with Daisy 2.5 years, how about inviting her for the actual wedding?

If it's still a no I would take a good book, use the hotel pool, go out for an explore, find a nice cafe with a view, read my book and then go to the evening do.

Some of us (GASP) don't have men in our lives at all! However do we cope!

You've reminded me that I had a good four hours to spend in a 'strange' city once, waiting for my DP (shock horror, FEMALE) because an appointment time had got mixed up.

I'm still alive (had quite a good time actually)!

let him go to the day and you chill at hotel/go out! Read a book, go to the spa, have a bath! Or go for an exploratory walk! Buy a nice lunch etc and then get yourself off to the evening do!

let your bf go to the whole thing! Plus you will then get to know his friend etc in the evening.

really you need to stop being so controlling over it all. It’s not your big day!

Hardly the same thing

If you were my girlfriend, I'd dump you if you tried to stop me going to my best friend's wedding and you'd never met him

Agreeing to meet himself the venue at a particular time is a good idea. There'll be lots of people going to the vending reception though so you won't stand out.

So your definition of being a cool woman includes being able to manage on your own for a few hours?

No actual adult would think like that, I assume your posts arent meant tbe taken seriously

It's extremely normal in the UK to do this
you have made me laugh with your stupidity
Thank you

I wouldn't go. Let bf have a day out on his own.

I find it weird to split invites like this. You probably feel a bit awkward turning up half way through and having to find your boyfriend etc

But you absolutely can't ask to be invited to the whole thing or even worse to ask your boyfriend to only go in the evening

I would hang out in the city for the day. Get your hair done. Have a nice lunch etc or lounge at the hotel ordering room service and watching telly and then just jump in a cab and go along for a few drinks at the reception. it just doesn't need to be a big deal

But each to their own..if that doesn't appeal then just decline the whole thing

People are entitled to ask whoever they want to a wedding.

the op has an invite to the evening do. If that doesn’t suit her, and her OH, she can decline. Or go.

but the idea that you’re splitting a partnership by not inviting both to the wedding is really odd.

I’m loving all the people assuming the hotel has a pool and a spa. My view on this would depend if it was a Premier Inn somewhere grim (is probably stay home and leave him to it). Or somewhere rather lovely….happily spend a bit of time on own.

id try and invite partners, but I’m old with disposable income. Not everyone is…and not everyone is staying in a hotel with a spa.

I’d never do this to someone… you invite the couple even if you haven’t met the other half! However.. be the bigger person, make plans for the day then go along to the evening and meet them and then next time there is an event, you’ll have already met! People are weird but I think you should be the better person!