Wedding invite- what should I do?

[Daisy0530]

Me and my boyfriend have been invited to his best friends wedding. (they’ve been friends since they were kids). Unfortunately due to them living so far away and also covid I haven’t had an opportunity to meet him yet. I have been with my boyfriend 2.5 years so I would consider us to be an established couple.

We will need to book a hotel to stay in due to the wedding being over an hour away from where we live. We received the invites and I have only been invited to the evening reception and my bf the full day. I can understand this as weddings are expensive and due to the fact we haven’t met however, this will mean I will be left alone at the hotel in a city I don’t know for 7-8 hours whilst my partner attends the wedding.

I am unsure how to feel about this and I am trying to see both perspectives, it’s their day after all. I must admit if it was my wedding I would likely have invited both as I would feel embarrassed not to. Should I just not attend to avoid any drama/arguments or should my boyfriend have a chat with his mate about it? I don’t want them to fall out but I feel a little off with the whole thing.

Quite. It could be somewhere with several Costas, betting shops and a Primark.
Most UK places are quite dull.

It's only an hour away, so I don't know why need to book a hotel anyway?
I understand how you feel, though. Evening invitations always feel like you're a second tier guest and I never accept them. It's also compounded because your bf goes to the whole thing. Just don't go. Do something else that day.

For those saying it’s rude, plenty of couples have to make decisions with head counts to keep numbers in check and often it’s - have we met this person? I was talked into inviting a friends boyfriend to my wedding (he initially wasn’t invited as I’d never met him) and Lo behold a month later they had broken up. Not a big deal but there is a reason people draw lines at things. Weddings are expensive.

This!

Are you not someone who is confident being in new places or being on your own?

You get to skip the boring (!) part of the wedding of these people you haven't met - and get to go to the party! Win - win...

Go, don't go... But whatever you do... PLEASE don't get your boyfriend to wangle an invite... So awkward and not classy.

I'd love a day to explore a new city solo!

Shopping /different physical environment /museums /cinema /art galleries/relaxed coffee shop patio with a book/magazine! -

Also there may be other plus ones at a loose end too who you could meet up with?

Utter bliss!

If the B&G don’t consider you a serious couple then they will have got that impression from your boyfriend.

This scenario sounds like a dream come true to me. Day to myself, evening out. Yes please. But if this isn’t for you, decline and BF goes by himself.

I agree with you, Lola in part - if people are cutting costs, why extend the whole thing into the evening? I've been to plenty where it's just the wedding and the reception and that's it.
We've seen the couple off on honeymoon and go home.

I'm not a fan of evening dos in general but I understand why they have their place. I think in this situation, you've only been with your BF a couple of years and you've never met the bride and groom so them including you at all is a nice gesture. Your choice is either go or don't go, but don't get your BF to speak to his friend and don't make him only attend the evening do. You'll be fine on your own for a few hours.

This is the best of both worlds. You get to skip the boring formal stuffy part of the wedding, please yourself for the day not having to make small talk with stranger, and then show up for the free food and booze later on. I'd be well pleased!

*strangers

A day exploring the city, shopping, lunch then chilling in the hotel and leisurely getting ready for an evening 'do.
Sounds perfect to me.
I'd much prefer that to attending the whole wedding of people I'd not met.
It was kind of them to invite you.
I'd have felt awkward sitting through the ceremony and wedding breakfast of people I didn't know.

Go! Have a lovely day exploring a new city whilst your bf attends the wedding, then meet his friend and new wife in the evening. It's an ideal opportunity to meet them in a relaxed setting. I think it's the perfect day tbh.

Isn't this the perfect time to meet them??

Why not agree with boyfriend that he comes out and meets you outside venue at a certain time so you can go in together? I agree 7-8 hours alone at leisure sounds great but that is possibly only after years of little children watching me pee so it might just look more attractive on the other side!

You tell your boyfriend to go to the wedding to support his friends and have a lovely time.

Then you go to the evening to join him, or you stay home.

You certainly don't tell him to have a word, or try to get an invite to the ceremony.

I can see why you would consider politely declining the invitation if your boyfriend is a heavy drinker he'll be pissed by the time you show up. So I'd either decline politely or have a nice time exploring and meet your partner later. Depends on how much your partner can control his drinking.

Ah good, a poster from the 1940s has turned up to remind us that men should be available to chaperone us poor helpless women at all times

Makes me wonder how those of us who aren’t with our boyfriends 24/7 manage.

I travel for work to all sorts of “strange places“ and my OH doesn’t come with me. I’m often on my own in the evenings as well and at the airport.

heaven forfend.

And if he is any type of man, he would not allow his girlfriend to be alone by herself in a strange place for 7 to 8 hours. this is a very bizarre take. Many women go places on their own..

But but how do you cope without a man!!!! 🤣

Very well indeed 😂😂😂 I mostly eat crap

If you dont want to spend the day alone exploring, decline and let him go on his own.

They are rude though in my opinion for giving you split invites.

If you can't entertain yourself for 7 hours, you have a problem tbh. If you don't want to do that, decline. But don't get your bf to say you'll both only go to the evening, it's his friend and I doubt that would go down very well. They haven't met you, why would they give you a day invitation, I think it was nice of them to give you an evening one.

Totally