Wedding invite- what should I do?

[Daisy0530]

Me and my boyfriend have been invited to his best friends wedding. (they’ve been friends since they were kids). Unfortunately due to them living so far away and also covid I haven’t had an opportunity to meet him yet. I have been with my boyfriend 2.5 years so I would consider us to be an established couple.

We will need to book a hotel to stay in due to the wedding being over an hour away from where we live. We received the invites and I have only been invited to the evening reception and my bf the full day. I can understand this as weddings are expensive and due to the fact we haven’t met however, this will mean I will be left alone at the hotel in a city I don’t know for 7-8 hours whilst my partner attends the wedding.

I am unsure how to feel about this and I am trying to see both perspectives, it’s their day after all. I must admit if it was my wedding I would likely have invited both as I would feel embarrassed not to. Should I just not attend to avoid any drama/arguments or should my boyfriend have a chat with his mate about it? I don’t want them to fall out but I feel a little off with the whole thing.

Haha thank you @DappledThings, I missed an entertaining time from the sounds of it 😂😂

I don't know why you need to stay in a hotel if it's only an hour away?

I only really enjoy the wedding ceremony bit so probably wouldn't bother to go to the evening do, but that's nothing to do with feeling like a second class citizen

I don't know why you need to stay in a hotel if it's only an hour away?

Don't have to travel home, can have a few drinks etc

Quite simply, go if you think you'd enjoy the day, despite only going to the evening part - personally that wouldn't bother me as I find weddings overly long anyway and would kill for some quiet child-free time to wander about the shops or sit in a coffee shop. Decline if you think it would be a pain and you wouldn't enjoy it. As is often said on here, it's an invitation not a summons.

i think a lot of the comments are based on people who would LOVE a quiet weekend in a hotel or shopping WITHOUT KIDS.

but if OP has no kids, she can do this anytime, in her own town/house. so its not a huge treat to do it in another place.

Very true, @burntoutbabe - plus, as said upthread it may not be a very nice town.
I don't think the problem is how to spend the day, it's more that she feels upset that she's been excluded from the wedding, just an evening invite, and her bf is a good friend of the groom.

People really are different.

Surely those who would love to explore the new city are imagining a sunny day in a pretty place, when actually it could be an absolute hell hole in the pouring rain.

And the best bit of the wedding IMO isn't the evening bit. It's the actual ceremony and meal.

The later bit has to be endured before it gets to a reasonable time to slope off (which is why we didn't bother with an evening do).

You were very wise, @whiteroseredrose

This.