Share a hotel room with my mum

[Groovychick10]

Hi I was wondering if you kind mumsnetters could help me please.
My mum has very kindly offered to take me & my toddler away for a weekend,which would be lovely. The only thing is my mum is talking about the three of us sharing a room.
I didn't expect us all to be sharing a room. I thought I'd be me & my toddler in one room & my mum in another room.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful because I really appreciate the gesture but I really don't want to share a room with my mum. I feel really uncomfortable with it & really want my privacy.
I don't know how to discuss it with my mum, I'm worried she'll take it the wrong way.
Help

I'm not expecting her to pay but I honestly can't

Well then you can't go can you?

Are you able to tease out what it is specifically that you feel uncomfortable about about sharing, and work around that? Depending on the reason you might be able to be honest with her about it and together the two of you come up with a solution.

It is not unreasonable to prefer not to share, but it is quite unusual in this situation.

From a practical perspective the suggestion of an AirBnB makes sense if you can find one at a reasonable price. Rig up some sort of screen between the twin beds? See if the hotel offers single rooms?

I think it’s nice that your mum offered, is there a reason you don’t want to share, with her? Perhaps she doesn’t want to stay in a hotel room on her own? I wouldn’t think twice of sharing a room with my children (or grandchildren, when I have them. 🙏 ) but if it doesn’t suit you, then just say no thanks.

I'm with you OP. I'd NEVER share a room with my mum, in fact I wouldn't share with one of my sister. I want and need my own room.

Could you discuss the budget for a hotel room and then see if you could find something cheaper (air bnb or caravan?).

What about booking something like a caravan? Then there’d space and these can be quite reasonable compared to hotels…

I'm also with OP - I'd hate it so much that I would have to refuse the offer.
I'd really appreciate the sentiment, but I just wouldn't enjoy it at all.

Is it a UK break? Could you do a caravan holiday instead? Static caravans these days can be lovely.

If you go outside summer holidays they are also very cheap. You toddler would like the pool etc.

I started doing them with my mum (we live at opposite ends of country) as a nice way to meet up when mine were toddlers

I’d be massively massively hurt if my daughter refused to share a room with me. If she didn’t want to sleep with me, id sleep with the grandchild, I’m envisioning two queen beds? Change clothing in the bathroom!

I’ve no idea of budgets etc but could you suggest a caravan or apartment / cottage.

That way you haven’t got to share a room and you and your mum can enjoy the evening together once the little one is in bed?

It is perfectly normal not to want to share a room with another person, but in your shoes I would call my mum and tell her I will not be able to go before she pays for the room.

I'm not sure what to do?
Given that you haven't been able to explain in any way what you are uncomfortable about I'm going to go with "get over yourself" as the answer to this and just go on the break.

You can get changed in the bathroom. What's the big deal?

Can you find a hotel that does suites/studio rooms. Reccently shared with my DD a studio suite that had a seperate bedroom and sofa bed. DD got the sofa bed as I was paying but it meant we had our own space.

You obviously expected or assumed she’d pay for two rooms when she offered.

If you can’t afford to pay for a separate room then don’t go if it bothers you that much. Either suggest alternative cheaper accommodation or let your mum go on holiday with someone who’ll actually enjoy it.

"Sorry Mum, I can't bear the thought of sharing a room with you so no thank you".

You're worried about how to tell her because you know it's ungrateful

I'm not sure what to do?

Tell your mum that you don’t want to share a room so much, that you’d rather not go away at all. Simple. Weird, slightly ungrateful, but simple.

When I first shared a hotel room with my DM I found she snores like a Boeing 747 taking off. The next time I shared my sister was in the same room as well. Oops I only had earplugs for myself

Very dramatic to cancel the whole trip over this. I feel sorry for your mum having to share with you tbh. You sound like hard work.

I find it a bit strange that you wouldn't share but that's me OP and if you wouldn't like it, you're totally allowed to not want to.

How would you feel if it was a family room / suite? So like two rooms adjoining, or like an L shape so there's some privacy.

Can you explain what's making you so uncomfortable OP? It seems such a shame to miss out.

I wouldn’t share a hotel room with anyone other than DP, so I accept that I will sometimes have to pay for a room of my own.

You'd like to go on the trip Mum is paying for but don't want to share a room, you're not expecting your Mum to pay for the extra room and you can't afford to purchase the second room yourself.

Unfortunately, it looks like you're only option is to cancel? Your Mum can take someone else?

Your contradicting yourself

"I didn't expect her to pay for another room"

"I didn't assume we'd be sharing"

Your poor mum is only trying to do something nice it's only a couple of nights what's the big deal?

I can’t imagine my dd objecting to this. When we have had a rare night out eg Stratford we always share a twin room. She’s your mum! She changed your nappies, pushed you out of her vagina etc what’s to mind?

bit unfair to deny your son a trip. get some ear plugs and an eye mask. you only sleep in the room.