Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Share a hotel room with my mum

115 replies

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:22

Hi I was wondering if you kind mumsnetters could help me please.
My mum has very kindly offered to take me & my toddler away for a weekend,which would be lovely. The only thing is my mum is talking about the three of us sharing a room.
I didn't expect us all to be sharing a room. I thought I'd be me & my toddler in one room & my mum in another room.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful because I really appreciate the gesture but I really don't want to share a room with my mum. I feel really uncomfortable with it & really want my privacy.
I don't know how to discuss it with my mum, I'm worried she'll take it the wrong way.
Help

OP posts:

mummalog · 16/07/2022 16:43

mummalog · 16/07/2022 16:42

Bit extreme to abandon the entire holiday over it, most people would be fine sharing it's only for a week. I hope she's not upset that you no longer wish to go, that'd make me feel pretty crap. Bless her. Can you not try and find out the cost of an extra room? Might not be as much as you think...

Just seen it's actually only a weekend not even a week! YABU imo sorry

Floralnomad · 16/07/2022 16:43

Christ it’s a weekend not a month !

alphapie · 16/07/2022 16:43

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:41

@MichelleScarn That's not the case at all. I'm not expecting her to pay for a extra room. I really appreciate her offering to take us away but don't feel comfortable sharing a room with her. I can't afford the extra room, I'm not trying to be unappreciative but sharing a room is not something I'm comfortable with

But you are expecting her to pay for another room, that's what you expected from the start.

I find it a bit weird you don't want to share a room with her so much you'd rather cancel the whole trip

Loveisnotloving · 16/07/2022 16:44

I'm not expecting her to pay for an extra room. But when she suggested it,I didn't expect to be sharing a room

Emmmmmmmmmmmmmm so what did you expect then?

Original poster

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:44

@caringcarer I'm not trying to be unappreciative & ungrateful &I'm not expecting her to pay for a extra room.

OP posts:

MammaWeasel · 16/07/2022 16:44

You want privacy for what, exactly? There'll presumably be an en suite bathroom......if you share with your mum you'll be able to have a bath or shower in peace - without the toddler in tow.......

I don't see the problem myself, dh and I share with my mum when we go on holiday together in a triple room and it's fine, honestly.

Topgub · 16/07/2022 16:44

If you get on well enough to go away with her, surely you get on OK enough to cope with sharing a room for a couple of nights?

PeekAtYou · 16/07/2022 16:45

Are you ND like your son too?

AmIOverReacting20 · 16/07/2022 16:46

I think it's pretty normal to share rooms, especially if you are trying to save money. I don't really understand why you'd be so against it unless there's some big drip feed about her incoming? Lots of hotels will have rooms with two double beds and might even do a camp bed or sofa bed for your son so it's not like you'd all be squashed in one bed.

Original poster

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:46

p@alpha

OP posts:

erinaceus · 16/07/2022 16:47

Do you feel able to discuss this with your mum?

Are you worried that she might think that you are ungrateful, or be offended that you do not want to share with her?

I don't think you can reasonably expect her to pay for separate rooms based on your preferences, but between you you might be able to come up with a compromise that you have not thought of, such as a bigger family-type room, a cheaper hotel, she takes the toddler off your hands for a weekend (not sure how you would feel about that), or something else.

Womencanlift · 16/07/2022 16:47

I wouldn’t have an issue sharing with my mum, in fact I have done many times for trips away. So I personally feel it’s a bit strange that you would give up the offer of a break for that reason

Have you explained to your mum how you feel? Would she have the money to pay for two? Maybe she just assumed that you would be all in together but if you explain and she can afford it maybe she will be fine paying for two

If you are going to cancel the idea are you going to explain the reason why as she may ask again and you will be in the same situation?

ohidoliketobe · 16/07/2022 16:48

What's your mum meant to do when you go to take DS to bed? Go and sit in her room on her own?
I genuinely don't understand why you wouldn't have thought you would be sharing a room.
Want some privacy. You came out ofnthis woman's uterus

BotterMon · 16/07/2022 16:49

BritWifeInUSA · 16/07/2022 16:40

So you’re not expecting her to pay for a second room, you can’t afford to pay for the second room but you want the second room. Who did you think was going to pay for it? The fairy godmother?

Show quote history

Exactly this!

Original poster

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:49

@alphapie there's nothing weird about not wanting to share a room. I know plenty of adults with kids not wanting to share a room with their parents.

OP posts:

FeliciaFancybottom · 16/07/2022 16:50

What exactly about it makes you so uncomfortable?

Blossomtoes · 16/07/2022 16:50

When I went away with my mum it never occurred to me that we wouldn’t share a room. It seems very odd to me for anyone to object. And yes, if you want your own room, you pay.

Topgub · 16/07/2022 16:51

@Groovychick10

It is a bit weird in the circumstances you're describing

Rememberallball · 16/07/2022 16:51

What about pricing up an Airbnb instead of a hotel? Then you could look at somewhere with 2 bedrooms and a sitting room meaning you can spend time together during the day/evening but have your own space with DS during the night.

Original poster

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:52

@ohidoliketobe lol I'm well aware of that. What's that got to do with anything?

OP posts:

parenthood1989 · 16/07/2022 16:52

I think the only solution you have is 'thank you for your kind offer, but we wont be able to accept'

Loveisnotloving · 16/07/2022 16:53

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:49

@alphapie there's nothing weird about not wanting to share a room. I know plenty of adults with kids not wanting to share a room with their parents.

It IS weird when it is only for 2 nights and when you are not paying a penny.

Darbs76 · 16/07/2022 16:54

I’d have no issue with this, I think you need to offer to pay the extra for your own room

Narwhalelife · 16/07/2022 16:56

My mum lives in another country, we are not exactly very very close (as she has lived in other country for about 12 years!) but whenever me and DD (13) visit we all share a hotel room (she lives in a one bed flat with her husband) and it’s lovely. Not weird at all. Me and my DD usually have a bed and she has the single or the sofa bed.

I did worry the first year (DD was about 2) but now it’s just normal 😊 it’s never been discussed having our own room and we take it in turns each year to pay. It will be fine honestly ☺️

alphapie · 16/07/2022 16:56

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:49

@alphapie there's nothing weird about not wanting to share a room. I know plenty of adults with kids not wanting to share a room with their parents.

It definitely is weird to feel so strongly about it you'd rather cancel.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread