Husband thinks I was wrong for letting toddler do this

[kellyb85]

Ok so we went for a walk with 3 year ds today and we rushed out the door as in-laws were round (again at teatime!!!!!!)
anyway we had only been walking for 5 minutes when I noticed my little lad was holding himself. I asked him if he needs a wee and he said quite urgently yes I’m going to wee myself. He has only recently potty trained so although I’m trying to get him to hold it a little more, when he has to go he has to go! So I quickly get him to a drain and me and daughter make a little circle around him and let him wee in a drain. My husband was mortified by this! He couldn’t believe I let this happen right in the middle of the street, I explained that he was desperate and it was our fault and surely a quick wee in a drain then walking round with a massive wet patch on his pants
what would you do in this situation?
obviously usually he goes before we leave the house but as we are still new to potty training we, the parents also need training! Also this is something I wouldn’t normally do as I would try and find somewhere to hide but a I knew the area and knew there wasn’t anywhere close by the middle of a street was our only option. it is also a very quiet street

just curious as to what everyone thinks. My husband thought it made us look like ‘tramps’

I find it hard to believe you even have kids with a comment like that 😂

Haha agreed. Christ my dad used to have to stop in a lay-by on long car journeys and hold me over the grass verge so I could wee, 30-odd years ago.

If they need to go they need to go.

🤣🤣🤣

This is the not the first post of read of yours that I have laughed at.

alphapie and that is not a compliment.

Proper planning usually resolves the need for emergency anything, especially emergency urinating in public.

Shame the dad who was so embarrassed didn't plan properly then.

FFS, should say - This is not the first post I've read of yours that I have laughed at.

A comment like ‘maybe take your kids to the toilet so they don’t have to pee on the street?’

Your DS needs praise for clocking he needed to go. Sometimes needs must and no one is bothered when a little one has to wee in public.

Keeping it in ruins your kidneys. When you have to go, you have to go!

Hilarious. I cant wait until you get to my age.

Bladder - meet menopause.

@Kanaloa

Did you read this?

The thing about making kids go before you leave the house (or going yourself) apparently doesn’t assist proper brain to bladder control- I learned this at a pelvic floor workshop. Not saying I don’t continue to ignore this advice and equally not saying I don’t need wild wees myself either!

Needs must!

If he was so so desperate a few minutes after leaving the house that he had to pee out on the street then he obviously already needed to go. I don’t think whipping a kid’s pants down and encouraging them to pee wherever and whenever they are is helpful. It’s just opinion I guess - I don’t stop other people from peeing all over the place, just wouldn’t do it myself.

Despite some of the perfect parenting on this thread, with some kids they give you literally no time to find a better option, so sometimes you are just finding the least worst place for them to pee (even though you had them on a toilet five minutes before!).

If peeing in the drain (or behind a bush etc) is better than them peeing themselves in the middle of the pavement where people have to stand in it, then that's what I'm going for.

DH was utterly mortified when this happened, but I pointed out his strategy of panicking and doing nothing wasn't actually helpful and one of us had to do something (often with seconds to spare). He got over himself eventually.

@Kanaloa one of the things little kids can control is when they go to the toilet.

So you can sit them on the toilet before you go out but the more intelligent ones - and I know they are more intelligent as they now adult who have First Class degrees - decide they aren't going until you are away from the house.

Are you serious? It’s obvious that your husband is wrong. Can you not see that? I’m sorry for being blunt but it really beggars belief that you need to ask. Anyhow, you are absolutely right to let you child relieve themselves.

Well of course if op encouraged her son to try for the toilet and he refused and she absolutely had to go out I suppose there was nothing to do but pee in the street.

But I don’t think she did, did she? She just left the house and about five minutes later he was so desperate he couldn’t hold it for a toilet and peed outside instead. She did ask people’s opinions - if she wanted a thread full of people saying it’s great to peen outside she should have asked for that maybe?

Eldest tried to copy a big boy in the park the other day and do a standing up wee. Considering she’s female, it didn’t go well.

I wouldn’t bat an eye at a drain wee.

Of course it's fine for a newly potty trained child. My son had some bladder issues for years and took medication for it so we had many wild wees. Drunken grown men weeing in shop doorways after a night not so much!

I have let both my dd and my ds do wild wees.

If they gotta go, they gotta go. Especially at a young age

Ha ha slightly off topic!! Giggling at this! No they came round as we were leaving so we had a quick chat and then we all rushed out the door together whilst we were saying bye to in laws and hence the reason we forgot to take my boy to the toilet 😁 although it would have been easier all round

I have been really laughing at some of these proud children doing there wee’s! I really liked the slide accident!

thank you for all taking the time to comment, I’m so happy I wasn’t dragged up and I am not a ‘tramp’

Hi thanks for your replies

yes you are correct IF I had remembered and taken my son to the toilet this would probably never even been an issue but, as I am still getting in a routine myself with my newly potty trained boy I completely forgot to ask him to go. Yes I hold myself responsible for this. I am not denying this, I was just a bit shocked by my husbands reaction, so I thought I would ask what peoples thoughts are on weeing in a drain. My husband quite clearly thinks it’s trampy and I was dragged up!! I thought this was quite common for toddlers!

but as other people have mentioned, I didn’t even really think about where ds was doing his business as I was more thrilled he had told me. Ds seemed really pleased with himself when he finished and think we might have finally cracked the potty training (only started in January!!!!!😫)

What I am curious to know is: is there anyone on Mumsnet who can claim they've NEVER had an emergency wee outside? Doubt it - I always assumed that was simply part of the human experience of being alive. Your husband must be very unusual.....or possibly a camel.

But even had they tried to go before hand, have you as an adult never been caught short? Have you never found yourself suddenly desperate for a wee even though you'd felt fine just a little while before? Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, forgetting to do something that might be fairly new to the routine is not the same as not prioritising her son. Saying she prioritised rushing out of the door is saying she made a conscious decision to not put him on the toilet before, that's not what happened. She forgot we all do it. Getting children to hold onto their wees is actually really unhealthy for them.

So true ! Even as an adult I have had the occasional wild wee. Ditto DH. When you go on long walks in the countryside, there is sometimes no other option.