Husband thinks I was wrong for letting toddler do this

[kellyb85]

Ok so we went for a walk with 3 year ds today and we rushed out the door as in-laws were round (again at teatime!!!!!!)
anyway we had only been walking for 5 minutes when I noticed my little lad was holding himself. I asked him if he needs a wee and he said quite urgently yes I’m going to wee myself. He has only recently potty trained so although I’m trying to get him to hold it a little more, when he has to go he has to go! So I quickly get him to a drain and me and daughter make a little circle around him and let him wee in a drain. My husband was mortified by this! He couldn’t believe I let this happen right in the middle of the street, I explained that he was desperate and it was our fault and surely a quick wee in a drain then walking round with a massive wet patch on his pants
what would you do in this situation?
obviously usually he goes before we leave the house but as we are still new to potty training we, the parents also need training! Also this is something I wouldn’t normally do as I would try and find somewhere to hide but a I knew the area and knew there wasn’t anywhere close by the middle of a street was our only option. it is also a very quiet street

just curious as to what everyone thinks. My husband thought it made us look like ‘tramps’

Obviously I meant discreet 🤦‍♀️😅

Oh bless you and your lovely little boy. Of course you did the right thing and your DH is being ridiculous. If anyone gets offended at the sight of a desperate toddler having an emergency wee in public then that's their problem. Your DS was able to tell you and you helped him. That's the great thing.

I remember once we'd got home and DS couldn't wait to get inside so he had to wee on the drive! It's fine, it's real life and completely normal.

He's 3, not 30, it's absolutely fine.

YANBU, what else were you supposed to do, let the poor child wet himself? I can guarantee you 99% of people wouldn't bat an eyelid!

What was the alternative. He wet himself? You did the right thing and down a drain is best place. Not as bad as the 7/8 year old who got his willy out at alton towers at the water park and just pissed over the water slide area 😡

What action did your husband take to solve the situation?

Think we’ve all facilitated an emergency drain/bush pee haven’t we? Your dh is being silly.

Your husband is over reacting. I’ve done exactly the same with my children at that age, who hasn’t? You were discreet and the lad had to go, he’s still so young. Obviously as they get older it’s not acceptable but it certainly is at his age.

My little grandson (3) ‘watered a tree’ when he couldn’t wait. Totally excepting when needs must in an emergency! Well done to your little boy, doing what he had to do!

Speak for yourself, I've never done it and never seen any of my friends with young children do it either.

It's crass

Proper planning usually resolves the need for emergency anything, especially emergency urinating in public.

Surely every kid qeea in a drain ?
-and definitely no adults have has a cheeky wee in a bush after too many sherries-

Maybe the spot that he went in wasn't ideal but really I'd say most people understand, wouldn't bat an eyelid and definitely wouldn't consider you 'tramps' 🙈

YADNBU

DH is being ridiculous!

As someone who is struggling to toilet train a 3yr old I would just have been happy he had told me he needed to go. I dream of that day 😂

Your dh is being ridiculous. He's 3 and newly potty trained! The alternative is an accident... he recognised he needed a wee and you made it happen. It's not like you let him wee on the floor of a crowded shop.

I did similar plenty of times when my dd was potty training and fully prepared to do the same again when 2yo ds starts... although he's already quite adept at getting his nappy off 😳

Yes, every now and again DS had to 'wee on a tree' as he called it when he was little.

DD was always too paralysed by mortification if taken short - I remember having to beg a guy at a park bowls club to let her use their loos when she was 4 (he was all 'Members only') because I could not make her go in the bushes, even if the alternative was wetting herself.

NB - I had to wee in a drain about 18 months ago as I was doing a round of deliveries for a charity, it was taking all afternoon, it was during lockdown, so no public facilities or cafes etc, there were no sizeable green areas and all I could find was a drain that was just about hidden from view by a parked car. Needs must!

I would never expect a newly toilet trained toddler to be able to hold it in for too long, it would have been excruciating for him and also cruel.

Sphincter muscles in the bladder take time to get stronger.

I reckon you were right OP.

😂😂

That's fabulous

OP, I'd plan a long journey, (preferably using the motorway)and insist on driving. When DH needs a 'comfort break' , put your foot down and sail past the services. Better still if small son can tell him " Daddy, you'll just have to hold on"

@alphapie

Proper planning usually resolves the need for emergency anything, especially emergency urinating in public

Please tell us how as a superior parent you prevent emergency urinating in public with a recently potty trained child.

I’m generally against letting kids pee out in the street - if they’re potty training learning to wait for a short amount of time (and to go before leaving the house rather than five minutes after) is all part of that. To me if a child needs their pants immediately whipping down as soon as they say to pee in the street they’re not really potty trained/training at all.

However there was a thread recently with lots of posters agreeing it’s a-ok to plonk a potty down in the corner of the national gallery for your child to pee in full view of everyone so opinions obviously differ.

Well it’s not really rocket science - sit them on the toilet before leaving the house. If he was so urgent he was about to pee in his pants after only a few minutes out of the house he likely already needed to go before leaving. So make a habit of going to the toilet regularly.

OP has explained why they were in a rush. Shit (and pee) happens.

But that still answers the question. It isn’t difficult to ensure it doesn’t happen - op just prioritised rushing out the door and didn’t ensure her child had used the toilet. I was simply explaining how you prevent ‘emergency urination’ as that poster had snarkily asked. You prevent it by going beforehand.