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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband thinks I was wrong for letting toddler do this

179 replies

kellyb85 · 14/07/2022 21:39

Ok so we went for a walk with 3 year ds today and we rushed out the door as in-laws were round (again at teatime!!!!!!)
anyway we had only been walking for 5 minutes when I noticed my little lad was holding himself. I asked him if he needs a wee and he said quite urgently yes I’m going to wee myself. He has only recently potty trained so although I’m trying to get him to hold it a little more, when he has to go he has to go! So I quickly get him to a drain and me and daughter make a little circle around him and let him wee in a drain. My husband was mortified by this! He couldn’t believe I let this happen right in the middle of the street, I explained that he was desperate and it was our fault and surely a quick wee in a drain then walking round with a massive wet patch on his pants
what would you do in this situation?
obviously usually he goes before we leave the house but as we are still new to potty training we, the parents also need training! Also this is something I wouldn’t normally do as I would try and find somewhere to hide but a I knew the area and knew there wasn’t anywhere close by the middle of a street was our only option. it is also a very quiet street

just curious as to what everyone thinks. My husband thought it made us look like ‘tramps’

OP posts:
caringcarer · 14/07/2022 23:35

I always made mine try to wee before leaving home. Until they were reliable with toilet training they wore pull up pants so if they had a wee in them that would be ok. I would not encourage a wee outside. That's what dogs do.

Headbandheart · 14/07/2022 23:45

I’d be talking to your MIL, if possible. In private ask her if he ever had to have a piddle outside as a child , just a casual conversation …by way of toilet trading tales
if she recoils in horror- that’s your reason
if he did need outside piddles …save…for a suitable family occasion, then casually get mil to tell it like it was🤷🏼‍♀️

Spaghetti0 · 14/07/2022 23:51

Dogs piss and shit all over our streets
Even when owners do the right thing and collect the poo they still leave parts of dog faeces there.

A toddler weeing down a drain? I wouldn’t blink if I saw thisZ

KettrickenSmiled · 14/07/2022 23:55

My husband thought it made us look like ‘tramps’

Better tramps than an uptight twat.
I note that he had no alternative solution, but was quite happy to berate you for coming up with a way to help your boy ...

Madmaxxy · 14/07/2022 23:56

Would you have done the same if it was your daughter at the same age?

I recently looked out of my front room window to see a fully grown man pissing against his car wheel in my street, basically onto the pavement. I posted about it on here and a lot of the conversation was about little boys being brought up to understand that they can go wherever they want because it's convenient.

If it was a one off then fine but if you're being honest with yourself would you make him wait in a different situation or let him go against a tree or in a car park or wherever?

Hawkins001 · 14/07/2022 23:58

When you need it's then the jungle.it is.

Hawkins001 · 14/07/2022 23:58

what's there to be prim and proper, when you need a pee

Tablechairtable · 15/07/2022 00:07

Your dh is making a big deal out of it.
Ffs today I saw a teenager , Inthink, didn't really want to look! but she weeing behind a tree on the verge of a sometimes busy road... I was driving past.

huuskymam · 15/07/2022 00:09

My ds, when he was 4, decided to pee behind a tree 10 steps from my door, while I was opening the door. And obviously the trousers had to be around his ankles. Quite surprised I didn't get any complaints about him flashing his arse to the road. All I could do was laugh.

KettrickenSmiled · 15/07/2022 00:13

Madmaxxy · 14/07/2022 23:56

Would you have done the same if it was your daughter at the same age?

I recently looked out of my front room window to see a fully grown man pissing against his car wheel in my street, basically onto the pavement. I posted about it on here and a lot of the conversation was about little boys being brought up to understand that they can go wherever they want because it's convenient.

If it was a one off then fine but if you're being honest with yourself would you make him wait in a different situation or let him go against a tree or in a car park or wherever?

ODFOD the little boy is 3.

You are as bad as his father - creating shame, but offering no alternative solutions. And why you imagine a little girl's bladder pressure is any less urgent than a little boy's is beyond me.

MiriMollyMartha · 15/07/2022 00:18

I can't believe your husband was horrified! So he expected you to force your child to hold their wee which is both unhealthy and painful, or urinate on himself in his clothes, rather than pee outside? That's horrible. What's wrong with a child peeing in the bushes or down a drain, really!

perimenofertility · 15/07/2022 00:26

I can't judge because I have a dog who wees on bushes and trees whenever he feels the need. But you were only a few minutes from home so I might have been tempted to rush him back home for his own privacy.

Pkwio · 15/07/2022 00:28

I have MS. I pee when I need to pee. Its either in my pants or a tree. I have no control. You did nothing wrong.

I hate MS

saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/07/2022 00:34

I think it was at a park in Scotland that I walked around the corner to see a dad doing the arm swing pee maneuver with his daughter (she couldn’t have been more than 3. He was embarrassed and apologized I just chuckled and said I was happy that it is a universal thing and all cultures do the same thing (I’m from the US). I’m pretty sure I offered tissues to the cause.

@kellyb85 you’re fine, totally normal. Tell your DH to get over himself and he did it too at that age. We all have!

Workyticket · 15/07/2022 00:39

My 10 year old had a wee down a back lane last week

His battle axe teacher doesn't let them go in class time and he'd legged it out excited to tell me about something so hadn't gone on the way out of the door either

WinterMusings · 15/07/2022 00:55

A few weeks ago I was walking up a track the leads to the woods & there was a bloke with his dogs coming the other way, he was half behind the tree. He called out to me that I might want to wait a minute as he was having a wee... when he'd zipped up & fully came out from behind the tree, he apologised & said even if I'd walked past there wasn't much to see... we both laughed, I fussed his lovely dogs, had a bit of a chat about them & we got on with our separate days. I thought he was nice & normal, such a relief these days.

a 3 year old, who cares?! I'll bet your dipshit DH has had his share of jungle wees. Idiot.

Foronenightonly22 · 15/07/2022 01:15

Hiphophippityskip1 · 14/07/2022 22:48

My toddler peed in the display toilet of B&Q! We didn't notice as we were deep in conversation with the sales person and were mortified when he came over to tell the man the toilet handle wasn't working!!!

OMG @Hiphophippityskip1 😂😂😂

QuestionableMouse · 15/07/2022 01:20

Both of my nephews love an outside wee! Nothing wrong with it

MrsClatterbuck · 15/07/2022 01:33

Especially during lockdown when travelling to say a hospital appointment my Dh who is over 60 had to stop for a wee as no loos available. This will be your DH some day especially if he gets prostrate problems.

Mochudubh · 15/07/2022 02:04

It's fine. My DS basically toilet trained himself. (A story and name change For another time). The only time he had an accident after that was when my MIL wouldn't let him pee over a drain and he wet himself.

PritiPatelsMaker · 15/07/2022 06:37

What was your DH opposing happened instead? That you let him wet himself?

Original poster
kellyb85 · 15/07/2022 08:06

Hiphophippityskip1 · 14/07/2022 22:48

My toddler peed in the display toilet of B&Q! We didn't notice as we were deep in conversation with the sales person and were mortified when he came over to tell the man the toilet handle wasn't working!!!

This really made me laugh!!! There is an old family story from when I was little and I was playing hide and seek with my brother and sister whilst my dad was shopping in B&Q and the only way my brother found me was because he noticed a puddle coming from a display wardrobe. When he opened the door I was inside having a wee!!! I must have been about 5 at the time!!! Hopefully nobody purchased that wardrobe!

to the person that asked if I would do any different with my daughter - no I wouldn’t, if she was 3 years old and needed a wee then I would do exactly the same but it would be a lot trickier!

Bunty55 yes this was my thought process aswell, it has been a long road with potty training my boy as in a good few months! So I was almost dancing around the street when he told me he needed a wee and was quite gobsmacked when DH told him to hold it!!!

we were off to play football so god knows how long dh expected ds to hold it for!!

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 15/07/2022 08:11

@Madmaxxy Assuming said stranger in your street had a medical issue, or was just unexpectedly caught short, if he'd knocked on your door with a polite request to use your facilities, would you have let him in I wonder? Hmm

farenheit · 15/07/2022 08:13

Wouldn't even bat an eyelid if I saw a mum and toddler do this! Done it many a time myself with DC tell your DH to calm down

NothingIsWrong · 15/07/2022 08:25

I'm 44 and if I'm on a long country run I will wee behind a bush... when I was much fitter I could easily be doing 20 miles trail run, you go when you need to! Rarely other people around though