Husband thinks I was wrong for letting toddler do this

[kellyb85]

Ok so we went for a walk with 3 year ds today and we rushed out the door as in-laws were round (again at teatime!!!!!!)
anyway we had only been walking for 5 minutes when I noticed my little lad was holding himself. I asked him if he needs a wee and he said quite urgently yes I’m going to wee myself. He has only recently potty trained so although I’m trying to get him to hold it a little more, when he has to go he has to go! So I quickly get him to a drain and me and daughter make a little circle around him and let him wee in a drain. My husband was mortified by this! He couldn’t believe I let this happen right in the middle of the street, I explained that he was desperate and it was our fault and surely a quick wee in a drain then walking round with a massive wet patch on his pants
what would you do in this situation?
obviously usually he goes before we leave the house but as we are still new to potty training we, the parents also need training! Also this is something I wouldn’t normally do as I would try and find somewhere to hide but a I knew the area and knew there wasn’t anywhere close by the middle of a street was our only option. it is also a very quiet street

just curious as to what everyone thinks. My husband thought it made us look like ‘tramps’

She who has to deal with the wet shorts gets to make the judgement call on whether bush / tree / etc is secluded 'enough' and the nearest available toilet is close 'enough' or not.

I once had to walk through town with my t-shirt covered in wee ( small chap was on my shoulders so we could walk faster) when we didn't make it to the loos in time. If you're dealing with the consequences you get to make the judgement call!

With a child of potty training age especially you'd probably just chuckle and walk on with no judgement. It happens.

Frankly I've been tempted to wee in a drain when deseperate.

alfresco weeing not alfreso !

We have a full on travel potty for our DD, we do try and take it to the most discrete spot while out and it is leak proof so everything is taken home to be disposed off, but it goes everywhere with us because needs must and I'm not making a 3 year old try and hold it for ages and then get distressed when the inevitable happens and she has an accident. There are no public toilets near me. I have a memory of my aunt shouting at me for having an accident even though I'd been telling her I really needed a wee for ages that memory has stuck with me as an adult and I can still feel the shame. I would never do that to a child.

As you were only minutes from home I'd have returned. Maybe I'd have picked him up and run back or had DH do this to speed things up.

Mine have often discreetly used bushes or trees in parks or the countryside if caught short, but going in a drain in a street seems a bit different, especially when you were close to home so had an alternative (and a change of clothes if necessary). So I'm with your DH on this.

Don’t be ridiculous! Why would you let your son wet himself for the sake of saving face. Nothing bad will happen with a recently potty trained 3 year old having an emergency week into a drain.

well, I’m an adult and if I was going to piss myself imminently and there was absolutely nowhere discreet I could go, I’d down trow and piss in the open as well. Sure it would be awkward, but walking around soaked in my own piss would also be awkward, and for much longer.

Your DH must have led a sheltered life. I wouldn't even have bothered to comment. What a Pillock?

Completely normal thing to do.

Your husband's attitude is sending all sorts of wrong messages to your son.

For an emergency - perfectly normal. Every time he needs to go - not normal. Not tramps to do what you did in an emergency.

aah yes tree wee time - swear my son made sure he could do this when ever we were out. He used to go into the garden and tree wee on purpose - " because the air felt good"!!

Grew out of it quite quickly but at 15 says there is still something good about illicit tree wees!!

He was potty trained at 22 months and if a tree wee stopped wet pants and embarrassment - then tree wee we did.

Your DH needs to get a life!

It is clear that your DH hasn't looked after many small children on his own.

I've done this with little kids since I was in my late teens. If a recently potted trained young child is caught short out where there are no toilets then you find a discrete place for them to go.

There's something wrong with you if you think letting a child wee themselves is the better option here.

My 3 year old pees in car parks, on the grass, on walks, in the woods. I have a 1 year old to look after so can't always make it in time. It's absolutely fine

I find this very odd too.

I can’t believe that there is a grown man in the entire country who has not had an alfresco wee! And probably most women have too.

Your dh needs reminding what a clever little boy he has that he understood what he needed and to tell you!

And I used to live close to the old Arsenal stadium so know what I am talking about,

#urinestreams across the pavement……….

When my DNephew was being potty trained (and no PortaPotty with us) then yes he did this, usually by a bush. Not ideal but better than him peeing his pants.

YANBU but I understand your DHs perspective, mine has never weed outside and hopefully never will, but then again we never got to a point where it was a choice between taking his bits out in public and urinating in the street, or a bush etc.

I find a little secluded patch of greenery if possible or at least a discrete area, and let him go. If nothing else is available a drain is good, but embarrassing for me personally.

Completely normal. Your DH is being very odd. No one would think twice about a small boy having a quick wee.

I thought every parent had held a toddler over a drain, or got them to wee in a hedge etc. i have done this with my dds (long car journey) and with several of my friends’ sons when they were potty training. It is totally normal.

I think we've all done this as parents!!

just teach you son to do it out of sight as he gets older. Once my son about 3 at the time decided to drop his shorts and wee (by himself without help) at the park. I quickly moved him to somewhere more secrete 😅

Hang on, so your inlaws came over and you all left the house?! Did you just leave them there on their own?

Meh. He's 3, not adult. I'd say it's normal. Would he let him to wet his pants?